Dealing with lying and general bullshitting

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starkid
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15 May 2018, 5:17 pm

I am really fed up with people's bullshitting. I have a hard time understanding how people can even stand each other. I don't want to be comforted, I just want to know how do people (you) deal with this?

These are the kinds of things I'm talking about:

People pretend they know what everyone in huge groups of people are thinking: "All X people think Y." No one knows what hundreds or thousands of strangers are thinking. Then they use the fake information to justify their political belief or something and ignore people who point this out.

You're having a discussion and you prove someone wrong, then they suddenly act like they don't care about the topic anymore OR they act like you are a nag. They won't admit to being wrong, they won't say a quick "oh, that's true," they won't even ignore you; instead they insult you.

People act like you are annoying when you simply ask them to prove or explain something that seems possibly untrue. They could ignore you or say they don't know or have trouble explaining, but instead they attack you as a nag, "obsessed," or "pedantic."

People ignore what you say and act like you're only saying it because something is wrong with you even though they don't know you. They make up lies as "reasons" why you said what you said and they derail the discussion.

This behavior seems quite common, and it's psychologically exhausting. I'm thinking of trying to meet some people once I move, but this recurrent issue makes that seem like a bad idea. I want people to be honest and sincere, but I have to interact with people to figure out whether they are honest and sincere, so I risk exposing myself to this sort of behavior.

It's ok with me if these people feel bad about what someone says or even just walk away, but insulting those who correct or question them (especially in a discussion, which is supposed to be about exchanging ideas) and continuing to say untrue things is too offensive to bear.

I don't have any patience with people lashing out to "save face" and I don't have any patience with their apparent need to believe or spread falsehoods—and I do mean actual false information or things they have no way of verifying, not legitimate differences of opinion.



Fireblossom
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16 May 2018, 8:24 am

I know the feeling... it sucks, but it's life. Most people have to deal with people like that at some point. In internet forums like this one, you can just be smarter "next time" and ignore everything that that person posts from then on, but in real life it's not that easy; sometimes there simply are people who you have to deal with even if you don't want to.



HistoryGal
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16 May 2018, 1:48 pm

I'm used to bullsh#tters at work. I try to ignore.



techstepgenr8tion
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16 May 2018, 1:58 pm

The human condition is a bit degenerate on this front and I think the only thing that's even close to a remedy is the glum realization that it's always been this way. People use language tribally, they use it to signal conformity with their tribe, and I think the even more brutal part of it is it seems like people are much more interested in what their tribes beliefs are and wearing those beliefs on their sleeves than actually knowing what's true beneath that.

That's the sort of background that human progress has ever so slowly dragged along against. The internet and quick fact-checking as well as easy access to self-education it seems like it should ultimately help but as predicted with most things it gets worse before it gets better and we seem to be going through the trough of it getting worse over the past few years.


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Irmagard
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08 Jun 2018, 7:13 pm

When you stomp on a person's emotional basic need, such as status in this case, then they won't like you and will become hostile. I haven't really had an issue with this, it just sounds like you don't hang around the right people. Probably in this scenario I would laugh at the person.



Sarahsmith
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09 Jun 2018, 12:34 pm

The type of BS I hate is when people are judgemental.



MalchikBrodyaga
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09 Jun 2018, 12:56 pm

I totally agree with everything you said, except for one bit: "I wish they were to ignore me". In my case, they, in fact, ignore me, but believe me it hurts even more: it feels like they treat me as a piece of furniture or something. Plus, when they ignore me, they still think in their heads exactly what you describe them "saying", with an added assumption that I am not worth even saying it to.

But, other than that, yes, they do to me everything you described. Such as acting that they know what I am thinking when they don't. And when I say something they re-interpret it in ultra-aspie sounding way and respond to their re-interpretation, etc. When I correct them, they typically ignore my correction, so in best case scenario we end up just walking on circles and in worst case scenario they just ignore me.