Its embarrassing to write about this... but i really feel like a disgusting loser now.
I have undiagnosed stomach issues, ibs possibly. My guts create an ernomous amount of gas... and if i dont let ot out, it makes me look like i have fat/pregnant belly and i have awful pain. It can be controlled with gluten free fodmap diet, but it kind of got ruined when i started to work at this place 3 months ago. Here people bring cakes and pastry almost every day, and i eat it with them just so i would fit in.. Ignoring my belly.
So i let the gas out even at work. Silently, making sure nobodys around.... Thinking the air conditioning makes the smell disappear.... In my first month i used to fart only in bathroom, but then on a coffee break this one woman made a big deal about how the womens toilet smells bad again. She didnt say she thinks its me. Anyway, after this i started to fart everywhere else, as i thought maybe nobody notices it.
This morning this woman came near to my desk, saying out very loudly ”it smells like fart here, again!!”... Looking at me with angry face.
Now i have realized shes been aware of my fart problem all the time, and i also realized why i have been hearing so many fart jokes around me lately. I just want to die from embarrassment. I should have kept my gas inside and suffer the pain and bloating. How could i be so stupid i fart at work... Now what do i do? Stick to my diet and stop eating cakes with them? Or just suffer? Or just die from the embarrasment by suffocating in farts?
Everybody at work will remember me not only as quiet and inept girl, but also as the fart queen and i thought people dislike me for being quiet, but i guess its because of smells!