I need attention

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I get this way too. My mind carries me away into the worst parts of the universe. You have just got to bring it back. These are the things I do (that sound so stupid but work) to bring myself back. It takes a while, so keep at it.

* Watch cat/dog/funny fail/etc. kind of videos. Even if you don't feel like smiling right now. Just do it and keep doing it until your head and heart calm down

* Distract yourself with a hobbie or a tv show. Listening to music is super helpful to me - the Skyrim soundtrack is very calming. Anyway, the point is to completely occupy your brain so the other thoughts can't break back in.

* If you are able to, go to a park and walk around or sit under a tree or something - or go to the library or a museum. Changing environments can do wonders for the soul.

* If you like exercise, do some yoga or meditation (or if you have a gym membership, go work out until you can't anymore).

* Don't worry about the email to your therapist - they're probably busy with other patients and hasn't received it yet. Also, I can guarantee you that you are not the first nor the last person to ever email your therapist - I'm sure he/she gets it. Go to your appointment.

I hope some of these are helpful to you

You should go see your therapist tomorrow. Trust that she is a professional who will talk to you about what made you e-mail her and not judge you for it at all. I think a therapist should be able to handle a desperate e-mail from a patient and help to find ways to work with the patient so that both agrees to the terms in a friendly and therapeutic way. I have my self had an arrangement where I e-mailed my therapist at any time. Just knowing I had the opportunity to write if I needed it actually made me feel better and safer and gave me a chance to be calmer on my own to find ways to help myself. It became that crutch I could lean on until I found my feet and got out of the crisis and could rely more on doing coping strategies on my own.
Part of struggling is to feel alone in very dark moments. To have a positive strategy for how to relief the pain and agony of those moments is really important. I felt it was helpful to write in one way or another to the persons who were supposed to be there for me, as part of an arrangement we had agreed on. If writing helps you too you should say so to your therapist and see what you can do.
Important to mention: When I wrote to mine she didn`t reply until we had our consultation. Your therapist is probably/hopefully waiting for you to help you with this in your consultation.

Sorry if what I write is irrelevant to you! And of course I can only speak from my own experiences and what I say may not be useful to your situation but I hope you find some ways to deal with your struggles and that you find a solution. I also feel clumsy with my English so my apology.

Please don`t let shame get to you. You are working to get help and to feel better and it is what you should do! Nothing to be ashamed about.

I used to self harm too. I have also stopped a long time ago and I hope you and I both can keep those actions behind us for ever... I also carry scars on my arms that I hide and handle the fact that they are there for all to see if I wear short sleeved shirts. It actually means a lot to me to find people with the same experience, as I have lived alone with this experience for very many years. So thank you for being here! Your experience and knowledge will have value to others.
You seem to be a brave woman and I think you deserve support to achieve your goals. But as many here have experienced: the world with all the people in it can be hard to navigate. Bravery is certainly needed. There are many smart people here on WP so you`ll get more and better advice than mine but I do support you and cross my fingers for you.

A big hug to you IreneAdler I hope you feel much better tomorrow after seeing your therapist and that it all works out well!

Then come and take part in the conversations on here.

Something of a civil-rights investigator for the time being but cannot fully disclose everything right now.

Just the books that you find of interest and are likely to read all the way through to the end; eventually, upon reading enough books and their competitors, you will innately learn how to determine a book's quality.

Some works, how-ever, are truly essential for a genuine comprehension of what makes for wise decisions. Alas, I am going to need to be busy again for a time, thus my delay in replying/responding.

Some names of well-known authors include Socrates/Plato/Aristotle, Shakespeare, Mark Twain, just to name a handful, related to the more «philosophical» categories, but as far as autism-related subjects are concerned, I actually prefer to just learn from other actual human-experiences, such as autism-related videos that one might find on You-Tube (or Minds.Com or Bitchute or other such «competing» social-networking platforms), and especially more important than the videos themselves, simply reading through many of the comments-section, even if not necessarily making any comments myself.