Do you hate your life too?

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I hated my life when I was single & lonely. I also seriously thought about & considered suicide then because i was going through a bad depression. I was a workaholic when I was employed because working was an escape. I had something else to focus on than being home on computer checking dating sites & posting about being lonely & other issues. I'm disabled & only worked about 38 months of my life. I was on SSI before I started working & it switched to Social Security Disability after. I was stuck living with my parents in a rural area with no public transportation & I cant drive cuz my vision is too bad. I had almost no offline friends so spending time online was an escape for me. I eventually met my current girlfriend on this forum & she's also disabled & has other benefits than me including housing so I moved in with her. I'm aLOT happier living with her than I was living with my parents. She hates her life thou because of all her issues & she judges herself based on how society judges disableds & other people who have issues. I do my best to try & support her but I'm kind of lost as to what to do.

Living in a self built shack is illegal in a first world country anyway.

I live comfortably on that while being dirt poor. as they say "A poor man isn't one who has little, but one who wants much."

Of course I'm a gurmukh so

"I have given up all egoism, and have placed my faith in the all-powerful Guru.

...

The Dear Lord is my mother, the Dear Lord is my father; the Dear Lord cherishes and nurtures me.

The Dear Lord takes care of me; I am the child of the Lord.

Slowly and steadily, He feeds me; He never fails.

He does not remind me of my faults; He hugs me close in His embrace.

Whatever I ask for, He give me; the Lord is my peace-giving father." Sri Guru Granth Sahib p. 1101
There have been close calls like when I was made a witchchild or when my grandmother throw me out of her house but I have a comfortable if modest life and things that I wanted, that I was sure that were impossible have fallen into my lap.

Though listening to your conscious and living the life of a sant is a hard thing to pick up in adulthood and getting rid of the artificial wants society instills in people to control them is hard.

Wanting too much? Wanting too eat is too much?

That sounded a bit like Psalm 23 (The Lord is my shepherd) and when I looked up gurmukh, it said kundalini. I think I could walk with you.

Yes serious

Felt surprised and stupid

Then I went on with the series of failures called "life,,"


Since then, ",life," has gotten better. But I did not do anything right to get a better life.


"Life" will only get worse.


$$ & health will only get worse


The slightest thing could happen and "life" gets worse drastically and permanently

Disease, injury, jail, rape, burglary,

And they are normal

Only a few things could make my life better, and they are uncommon

That is unfortunate that your country is kicking out 20 year olds. A lot of people end up homeless because they can't stand living with their parents anymore and leave. Though the conditions the homeless face vary greatly. In some countries the homeless can only live on the street, others its massive shelters with a 100 people in a bunk room. The homeless in countries where there is a universal housing benefit are typically able to get a private hostel room which is quite a bit nicer. Sometimes though the wait to an apartment can be really long so you might have to live in the hostel for many years. Some places do the housing first thing and place you into an apartment pretty fast, though thats only where either social security benefits are generous or where there are rent free apartments available (and often there can be a long wait list).

My life is mostly garbage. Few fleeting moments of happiness and enjoyment that break up the daily suffering/hell of being chronically ill. Autism + chronic illness = living with parents for any foreseeable future.

I hate how society is on a whole.

You're right it's precisely how it is.

Yes autism is a disability. Atleast for me it is. Maybe for others not.

It's a disability for me.

I should have been at least in "middle management." I've just been a clerk all my life. I'm not respected on the job as much as I should be based on my experience.

It's because I'm "disabled," and it's obvious.

So what? That's just the way the ball bounces.

I seek out my own forms of enjoyment.

Maybe its too late anyway, because in a few years there will probably a societal collapse.

I don't think it would be societal collapse, but likely another downtown will be used to reduce the living standard a little more, sort of like how 2008 was used for that. Climate change is the wildcard that could really mess up society if people have to start moving in large numbers or if farmers have to radically change how they grow food. The positive thoughts are that it is possible we'll catch climate change before it gets too severe, and in the case of economic inequality its possible an outcome similar to the post WW2 outcome is reached where a new contract of society is created that functions a bit more smoothly.

FOS

According to Diagnostic statistical manual, autism is a disability

Some autistics have splinter skills and a disproportionate number of autistics are software engineer. But maybe they would have been more successful neurotypical. And autism still impacts them negatively in other ways

I hate my life but I also hate the world. My life at best is tolerable. If I won the lottery my life wouldn't even improve that much.