Rant for the day:
Some members who have recurring thought patterns are criticised for not "improving" when they are given our advice, while other members with different diagnoses repeat insidious sentiments just as repetitively, but without rebuke even when they do not grow or change over time. This is hypocritical.
Members who suffer from clinical depression or anxiety disorders which cause negative, recurrent patterns of thought (however disabling), have just as much difficulty changing their mindset or growing in confidence as people who are traumatised, agoraphobic or developmentally delayed with other conditions.
This second group seems to feel entitled or protected by the presence of intractable trauma, their developmental autism, their innately poor theory of mind, or their (often misandrist) opinion of gender constructs, all of which they consider acceptable and just. They are not expected to recover, so this is a double standard. We would never tell a member to "stop being autistic", "stop having PTSD" or "stop having mutism", because those forms of recovery are beyond one's control. Somehow, unfortunately, it's become fair game to tell others that their repetitive worry due to MDD, GAD or interpersonal trauma isn't welcome.
I don't know why the first group with depressive recurrent thoughts is often humiliated, while the others get a free pass.
Secondly,
The growing prevalence of gender bias against men as predators and describing women as romantic or sexual victims has created a very unpleasant divide on WP, and I wish both sides would realise that it is counterproductive, ignorant and prejudicial to continue this theme. Many of us suffer from PTSD because of victimisation, but oftentimes comments which are meant to support victims do a disservice with blanket assumptions and generalised inferences which are incorrect.
There are many female criminals on this planet who kill, abuse, rape, judge, deceive, rob or scorn men, women and children alike. This behaviour is less common, but female psychopathy is just as injurious to our members and to society at large, as men's. There are also women who enjoy sex without romance, wine and roses. Likewise, crime is often committed by men against other men and boys. There are men who like to cuddle, but their partners don't. Few of these scenarios are considered, because there is an overriding stereotype that most abuse is male to female, that men are more sexual than women, and that heterosexual trauma trumps all.
There are people (particularly men) on WP who are lonely, sad and hurting, and despite our best council or their best intention, they may never improve or stop ruminating. These people require just as much understanding and forgiveness as others, who have different diagnoses which cannot be overcome.
Projecting one's traumatic experience to make generalisations about victims and perpetrators by gender, or having double standards for a person's (in)ability to overcome their clinical pathology is extremely hurtful to some members of Wrong Planet, and I wish it would stop.
I wish we could all be treated with the same patience and common courtesy. At present, some people's cries for help are being demeaned while others who repeat themselves are lauded, and allowed to draw lines in the sand.
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles