There's very little about WP I like now

Post Reply New Topic

xfiles, it'd be sad if u burn out. i really like ur moderation style. even if i disagree with ur evaluations, i respect the way u conduct.
as to "safe haven" well. my posts got deleted multiple times, despite being strictly on topic, and that alone destroys safety for me. i've worked hard for the haven all those months, and i really can barely find energy any more. except for several certain people. i guess there is no safe place for somebody, who went thru several too many hells.

That’s kinda offensive to all people who have been here for so long.

Not all old members complain about the same thing, some may have complained about the same stuff in the past but grew out of it, and even if some
do...we have no say about it as long they aren’t breaching the rules.

Maybe it is, but its still true.

There's only so much repetition people can take before things get stale.



Thanks!

That's how I've lost a lot of my friends. They leave the forums without offering other ways to communicate.

I didn't really come to this forum to make friends as such, only to share things anonymously about my thoughts, feelings and life events, and to read other people's posts, empathise with them or discuss things, etc. I have had a couple of members try to build up a friendship with me in PMs, but I find the PM system on WP isn't very chat-friendly, in my opinion. If someone here really wants to be my friend then I prefer to add them on Facebook. But not everybody uses Facebook, and I don't use other social media like WhatsApp. And the last time I gave my email address to a member who PM'd me regularly wanting to be friends, my email account got hacked into. I'm not accusing the person of hacking my email account but it's still made me suspicious.

Sorry to hear that. I would miss your comments and your cool avatar. Didn't even knew that ferris has left until I started to read this thread. Feel sorrow about that. I thought about leaving the site too. I don't think that as many people would miss me.
Came here once I learned about Asperger syndrome after recognizing my lack of affective empathy. I wanted to know other people who are a bit the way that I am. Learned a lot about Aspergers and autism and lot about problems that I don't share here. Even that I didn't found as many people like me here I found at least some really nice and interesting people here.

^^^Quite, i hope you stick around

Yesterday, my best friend was over at my place and we talked some, then he said something quite profound IMO.

He said, sometimes people part ways and one or both act in a clingy way, trying to hold on to the other.

He thinks if we drift apart for one reason or another, if that reason has something to do with me improving my life,
even if he himself would prefer to stay friends, he won't try to hold on to the friendship, because that would stunt my growth.

For a short moment I was flabbergasted.
At some point along my way I had forgotten about this principle, I had gotten used to clinging on to others out of sheer dependence.
He has reminded me that good friendship is not only about what one can get out of it for oneself, but also having a benevolent intent for one's friend, wanting the best for him/her and getting the same in return.

With that in mind, for some members, if leaving WP has a positive effect on them, perhaps it's the right thing to just let them go.
I think that's right.

^^^yeh, but that doesn't mean that i won't still miss at least some of them.

Of course not. I too sometimes wonder how some long-gone members are doing. Nothing wrong with that.

i hang around in the off chance that my presence here is useful for some of the others here.

I think I will even that my time for doing so is recently a little more limited.

Your posts are useful to me!

XFG I value your ability to say a lot with few words. And your awesome avatar.

Trog, I feel much the same as you expressed in your post. It would be nice to have some thoughtful discussions.

thanks to everyone. I think it does take all kinds.

what happened?

Wp sucks but where else would we go

Rant for the day:

Some members who have recurring thought patterns are criticised for not "improving" when they are given our advice, while other members with different diagnoses repeat insidious sentiments just as repetitively, but without rebuke even when they do not grow or change over time. This is hypocritical.

Members who suffer from clinical depression or anxiety disorders which cause negative, recurrent patterns of thought (however disabling), have just as much difficulty changing their mindset or growing in confidence as people who are traumatised, agoraphobic or developmentally delayed with other conditions.

This second group seems to feel entitled or protected by the presence of intractable trauma, their developmental autism, their innately poor theory of mind, or their (often misandrist) opinion of gender constructs, all of which they consider acceptable and just. They are not expected to recover, so this is a double standard. We would never tell a member to "stop being autistic", "stop having PTSD" or "stop having mutism", because those forms of recovery are beyond one's control. Somehow, unfortunately, it's become fair game to tell others that their repetitive worry due to MDD, GAD or interpersonal trauma isn't welcome.

I don't know why the first group with depressive recurrent thoughts is often humiliated, while the others get a free pass.

Secondly,
The growing prevalence of gender bias against men as predators and describing women as romantic or sexual victims has created a very unpleasant divide on WP, and I wish both sides would realise that it is counterproductive, ignorant and prejudicial to continue this theme. Many of us suffer from PTSD because of victimisation, but oftentimes comments which are meant to support victims do a disservice with blanket assumptions and generalised inferences which are incorrect.

There are many female criminals on this planet who kill, abuse, rape, judge, deceive, rob or scorn men, women and children alike. This behaviour is less common, but female psychopathy is just as injurious to our members and to society at large, as men's. There are also women who enjoy sex without romance, wine and roses. Likewise, crime is often committed by men against other men and boys. There are men who like to cuddle, but their partners don't. Few of these scenarios are considered, because there is an overriding stereotype that most abuse is male to female, that men are more sexual than women, and that heterosexual trauma trumps all.

There are people (particularly men) on WP who are lonely, sad and hurting, and despite our best council or their best intention, they may never improve or stop ruminating. These people require just as much understanding and forgiveness as others, who have different diagnoses which cannot be overcome.

Projecting one's traumatic experience to make generalisations about victims and perpetrators by gender, or having double standards for a person's (in)ability to overcome their clinical pathology is extremely hurtful to some members of Wrong Planet, and I wish it would stop.

I wish we could all be treated with the same patience and common courtesy. At present, some people's cries for help are being demeaned while others who repeat themselves are lauded, and allowed to draw lines in the sand.