It's pointless.

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Ive been living in this town for 2 and a half years and I havent really made any good friends so I can relate. The places I go out no one talks to me. Its like I scare them away. At least you have a job to go to and probably have enough money for food. I hardly have enough to eat.

(You showed me a picture of yourself a while back. I thought you were really cute!)

I have also felt great loss at the death of someone I never knew personally but whose life impacted mine. If the respect and attachment is great enough, the loss is great too.

I'm sorry this is a bad month for you.

I'm rambling. ... This is all just the manifested process of several of us accepting the iffy, difficult & convoluted ways my brain works.

I want to share more with those people but it's hard enough just to bring any of us about in one place right now.

I barely even know what to ramble about right now though. I owe Raleigh a beer or nine. Playing 007 games on Playstation 2 tonight. My beer collection has taken a serious dent. I made jalapeño/shishito chile infused beer with my roommate. I'll actually get some sleep in a bit I think.

My life is so weird. I feel normal for now but that's only because it's 3AM. I need ideas for this long weekend before I must go back to my globalized robotic flea circus act & hope the numbers work out on the other side.

You're right, it is pointless. I've thought of suicide countless times and the frequency increased by the day. BUT, sometimes you get a sense that there is something greater, which you are part of, with all things being connected. Well, I hope so anyway.
Pushing your limits, whether that be travelling, learning something new, or creating something from your mind, is helpful...

So much can be made by you; all things arise from ideas and thought.

"It is your mind that creates this world" - Buddha

Yes, and depression is withheld anger. Just that it doesn't feel that way at all.
It takes courage to believe in selfworth if there is no frame of reference.

oft times you gotta find or discover your own frame of reference.

I'm something of a Buddhist but I wasn't objectively trying to convince myself of this thread's title.

I'm only writing about the part of me people are trying to get rid of.

Sooner or later this will make more sense but everyone just deconstructs it into component parts instead of making conversation. Don't tap the glass, you'll perturb the coders on the other side.

I didn't say I was depressed.

A whole lot of things almost killed me but nothing cut so close yet.

true

That's right. You didn't say that. I'm sorry.

Life alone is pointless

Don't sweat it, objectively I'm not sure what I feel like lately. I'm only on here because I'm crazy in the first place but that doesn't mean I want to be a pain in the ass about it.


I'll try to ramble more positively.

I just saw this thread, cberg. I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and wishing you better days ahead.

(( Hugs ))

I looked it up on several online dictionaries. No pictures of you though. Just words.