Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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What I told her is true. I have no feelings for you.

I'm sad because you were the last straw on a big pile of draws and I broke. I can't believe that this is my life.

I try and fill my time up with positive things, but there's still this area where I've not be good enough for anyone and it just hurts.

It's not you. It's life. I feel like I'm defective and I can't do anything about it no matter how hard I try.

Dear .......,
I'm sorry for my mood, my defensiveness, pettiness, I seem to be on a downward spiral and my contributions hardly justify my being here any more. I let myself get drawn into conflict last autumn and haven't really bounced or regained my equilibrium. I have found myself at odds with all three of you, despite the fact that I respect and feel warmly towards each one of you. It's not possible to turn back time or claw back innocence so this is the best I can do. I've put myself in this awkward situation and no longer feel safe or happy here, I should acknowledge that perhaps my mind isn't in a fit condition to participate in certain discussions too (which is embarrassing).
I so regret going down this route, it's been a huge mistake. Sorry for irritating or upsetting you.

Dear You -- and You and You,

You could have been honest with us all along rather than stringing us on with false promises and a slew of insincere lies orchestrated to preserve your self-confidence and questionable morality. You're not a woman of your word, and you have little empathy or understanding for others. You sincerely need to grow up and act your age. Even half of it would do. As for the other yous, please realise the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

We've lost all respect for you.

Better luck next time,

Us

I'm really sorry that I overreacted.

I'm glad we're talking to each other again.

Dear You,

We're still waiting. Perhaps you could take a moment to get real before your manicure. Perhaps you could grow up before selling photos of your feet. Otherwise, we wouldn't want to interrupt your blessed day.

Your audacity is astounding.

Dear You,

I have a level 85 Paladin, a level 82 Shadow Priest, and I'm currently leveling a Warrior through Northrend, although I spend most of my time tanking instances in the Dungeon Finder. I've held off on getting Mist Of Pandoria because I got burned out on endgame progression after Wrath of the Lich King, and the Cataclysm content is still new to me. Plus, Monks seem redundant in an era of dual specialization and viable hybrid DPS, and while I know they are well-established in the lore, Pandoria does not appeal to me. So I'm wrapping up a Taunka questline in the Borean Tundra, trying to determine if I should go to Dragonblight or Grizzly hills, and now you know how I feel when you won't shut up about your favorite conspiracy theories!

Sincerely,

Me

Dear You,

I miss you and hope you're OK. Nothing is quite the same as before.

(( Hugs ))

To all of my high school friends (but especially one of you),

I'm grateful to be friends with you right now. I have waited since 5th or 6th grade to have any true friends and it was hard for me in middle school.

Thanks for being with me,
H

Ok, well this is awkward.

Maybe in another place in another time.

Not now. Really, not now.

Hugs to everyone here!

Dear You,

After four years, you could have learned a different song to sing. Maybe you could try something just a little more joyous ... ?

Sincerely,

Me

Dear All Four of You,
What the **** were you thinking? Thanks a lot. We're not your dumping bin. Get off your egos and grow up because I have enough to deal with already. Perhaps you could walk a mile in my shoes, or her shoes, or anywhere -- away from where you are now. Just don't come here. I'm tired of being shat upon.

Us

Dear Extra,
You are a neighbour. You don't matter.
Mum is my mum and we're doing all this stuff to keep her alive and the rest of the world is making it dangerous out there.
Do NOT tell a mum I can't hug or eat with or be near that her dog has something wrong w it.
All dogs need walks twice a day and her dog isn't allowed that and my mum isn't allowed to walk it.
Go hang
Move out after this is over
The one who actually matters round here

You're having do many issues with people because you are autistic. You need to look into it. Learning about how your brain works will help you.

Sometimes I have gently wept when I have had quiet moments alone. In the shower, beneath my blankets: places I would always wish you were with me. I walked past someone who smelled of cologne and it paralyzed me wondering how you smell. How I wanted you to tell me you missed me so badly in that moment. Whenever I hear Spanish it’s as though you were the inventor of the language, it sounded so new to me. I hear it everywhere now. But you aren’t there and you never were. I long for a ghost. Waves of soft dejection ripple through me when I think about how you called me your crowned goddess. How irresistible and arresting your voice was. I missed you so badly, needed you so badly. On nights when all I want is to hear about your day and I tell you how I’m sick and you’d beg me to rest, how we’d laugh so much we couldn’t speak. I can’t have that now. I wished to everything that I could be enough of what you wanted. But I am not. I couldn’t fathom a life where you don’t come to me, but I suppose that is my life now. I meant everything.

I had a dream about you the other night.
You were on the phone with me trying to help me fix a malfunctioning piece of technology. It didn’t work.
We didn’t talk about the virus. We didn’t talk about the time that has passed within which our silence grows. I did not tell you the thoughts that I have kept in my head because I can’t share them with you. I didn’t talk about anything.

This was a blip in the wavelength of time. I am sure I was a mistake. You never were for me.

I don’t know what else to say. I wrote you letters that will never be read, they’re hidden in my notebook like little messages in invisible bottles.

Goodnight.

Dear You,

If you would only speak in complete sentences and not digress into irrelevant topics, we would get along better.

Focus, please.  Focus.

Me