other people won at life

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i have no money
Tufted Titmouse
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31 Oct 2020, 6:23 pm

Stardust Parade wrote:
I think you should seek a therapist.


that was very offensive. please do not say things like that to me.



goldfish21
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01 Nov 2020, 5:27 pm

i have no money wrote:
Stardust Parade wrote:
I think you should seek a therapist.


that was very offensive. please do not say things like that to me.


I really don’t think Stardust Parade was intending to insult or offend you. At all. I think they were genuinely suggesting that discussing your perspectives and issues with a therapist could benefit your state of mind, mental health, and general well being. Some people benefit greatly from talking to trained professionals, and perhaps Stardust Parade has, and then they recommend the experience to others they think could get some beneficial value out of the process.

I don’t think people should be deterred from recommending potential treatments that may benefit someone. You’re not obligated to follow their advice if it’s not for you for whatever reason, but I don’t really think it’s acceptable to tell people not to try to help with their suggestions. We wouldn’t want to create a culture here where people don’t make recommendations that could help others because someone took offence and told them not to. IMO.


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Fnord
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02 Nov 2020, 9:56 am

There is no real stigma associated with seeking guidance from an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health practitioner.  Many people on this website have benefitted from it, and I personally recommend such an activity to everyone even when they are not experiencing emotional distress.  Sometimes, just "touching base" with a therapist once a year is enough to lift one's spirits.

goldfish21 wrote:
... I don't think people should be deterred from recommending potential treatments that may benefit someone... We wouldn't want to create a culture here where people don't make recommendations that could help others because someone took offence and told them not to...
... or have a mod intervene and tell one particular member that he or she is not allowed to reply to one other particular member's posts, no matter how well-intentioned those replies may be.



goldfish21
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02 Nov 2020, 1:50 pm

Fnord wrote:
There is no real stigma associated with seeking guidance from an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health practitioner.  Many people on this website have benefitted from it, and I personally recommend such an activity to everyone even when they are not experiencing emotional distress.  Sometimes, just "touching base" with a therapist once a year is enough to lift one's spirits.
goldfish21 wrote:
... I don't think people should be deterred from recommending potential treatments that may benefit someone... We wouldn't want to create a culture here where people don't make recommendations that could help others because someone took offence and told them not to...
... or have a mod intervene and tell one particular member that he or she is not allowed to reply to one other particular member's posts, no matter how well-intentioned those replies may be.


Interesting moderator commentary. :chin: I’ve had that happen twice. :roll:


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Stardust Parade
Deinonychus
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03 Nov 2020, 5:57 pm

i have no money wrote:
Stardust Parade wrote:
I think you should seek a therapist.


that was very offensive. please do not say things like that to me.

Pray tell me, how exactly is that offensive? It’s quite obvious by all of the threads you make that you are depressed, and a mental health professional could quite possibly help you. Unless of course you’re just fishing for sympathy by making the same types of threads over and over again.



idntonkw
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03 Nov 2020, 6:28 pm

i have no money wrote:
other people won at life

i lost at life


it happens to MANY people.. you can continue living having lost at life.. many people live this way.. get a hobby..



PhosphorusDecree
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06 Nov 2020, 5:09 pm

Don't know if this helps, but "I am just a complete loser" is the classic example of your mental state lying to you. When I was severely depressed it was like a non-stop chant in my head. One of the good bits of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (...there are bad bits) was the therapist labelling stuff like that a "negative automatic thought." Just because you keep thinking it doesn't make it true- it's just a very persistant bad idea.

Also- judging other people solely as winners and losers is an unpleasant thing to do. People aren't wholely bad or good depending on how much money or sex they're getting. I know some brilliant people who are poor, or single, or both. And some bloody vile "winners", too. Most of us understand all that, but still judge ourselves harshly for lack of success. I'm guessing you're basically a decent kind of person, as the real nasty types don't go in for self-doubt much. So let that be how you think of yourself instead.


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