scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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At my typical 7.

+3. Twelve days until Christmas!

Again at my typical 7.

At a 4 for most of the day today.

I was sick for most of the day today, I got put on hold by the neighborhood clinic for a phone appointment with my therapist (I hung up on the clinic mind you), and something weird began happening in my left ear.

-10 to 5ish.

Stupid day

Back at my typical 7.

-7 Feeling depressed, isolated, very much “other,” would love to just be done with everything. Just wasting time until I die, I’m like that container of old mystery leftovers in the back of the refrigerator that is very much no longer good but hasn’t been thrown out yet and is just left sitting there. Too numb to feel really terrible, though, I’m just exhausted of living, and have been for over a decade. Can I be done now?

On positive scale.

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Just a snippet advice from yours truly; if something upsets you...
... Acknowledge it's right to exist. That's only the first step.
And a part of this first step isn't only in the rational part -- rational is easy, emotional isn't.
Knowing the nature of human emotions, just take your time on this one; and knowing that nature, be gentle with it -- don't force it.

Don't force yourself to be gentle with it either.
Yes, such as the conundrum dealing with emotions.


What comes after that? Well... That's mostly up to you.
Just do not run from it. Do not simply strike it down either. And definitely don't sweep it under the rug; that may put you back to square one to zero that would only turn one.

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-6. Stupid everything. Cutting myself tonight.

+3. Today has been better.

7. Cautiously optimistic, but content.

At my typical 7.

+2, depression’s still got me in its grasp, but I have a new obsession (Silent Hill), and I’m officially done with cancer treatment for the time being.

-7 Obsession’s fading a bit, no longer strong enough to distract much from the depression, which is hitting me pretty hard again. So tired of this endless cycle. I want to die but feel like I can’t do the deed myself (even though I actually could), I guess maybe I just don’t want the blame on me even if it’s me who’s dead. But still fairly numb, so not as horrible as it could be.

On a usually pleasant variable.


Just realized I was outside and walking for 3 hours.


One of the best walks I have...
Involves the most comfortable of get ups, with no almost no items weighing me down nor watch over all around.

Yup. My usual biggest worries going out involves carrying possessions.

Not with this walk.

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At my typical 7.