Marknis wrote:
threetoed snail wrote:
You're not going to "find love" so long as "finding love" is the only thing in your head 24/7/365.
If you want to ever find it, then you have to let it go, and go find something else that's actually under your control and actually brings you enjoyment, in this world, in this reality, in the present time. You have to find a way to be at least somewhat okay on your own. There is no way around that.
If that's not something you can do, then go seek professional help if you haven't yet. You need it, and it will help you.
I just have a hard time wrapping my head around this. It doesn’t make sense to me. If you don’t train in martial arts, you’ll never learn them. How is not looking to find love actually going to help me find love?
Because if you focus on other things and learn how to
actually handle being secure on your own people in general will see you as a more confident and stable person, and people want confident and stable partners. Focusing only on finding a partner and basing all your worth on having one is doing the
opposite of getting you one, as it prevents you from further developing any qualities that will actually be of benefit to you. Doing that hasn't worked this entire time and it won't suddenly start working, so that's why people are continuously telling you to stop doing it.