She doesn't acknowledge my emotions even when i say that certain phrases hurt me, and she violates boundaries, she critizises me everyday, everytime she gets a chance to speak to me. She thinks i'm stupid for lame things, like if i stepped over the carpet or something like that, she yells at me. I feel like i walk on eggshells in my own home. She always humiliates me. She gets mad when i don't want her around my friends and wants me to feel guilty for that, and she says that she can't understand my act of putting up boundaries: she doesn't know that she's abusive....
She always points out my faults, every single time that i talk to her, and i'm not exagerating, she never has a nice word for me. She never acknowledges my accomplishments and positive traits, and even denies that i have accomplishments. Nothing is ever good enough for her. She has negative comments for everyone every minute of every day. She always compares me to other people.
She doesn't love me, even though she says she does in front of others (empty words that don't reflect what she really feel: if she loved me she wouldn't treat me like this). She showed me that everyday since i was a little kid. She only cares about how i make her look.
Insulting others counts as emotional abuse too: she always appear nice in front of others in a narcisistsic way, and then she criticizes them behind their back. She thinks she's the best and that without her , me and my father wouldn't be able to do anything. She is the "martyr who sacrifices her life for us", in her opinion. But she's really just a parasite. She constantly insults my father too, she makes him feel stupid, and he tries to defend himself but my mom always wants to have the last (and insulting) word. She thinks she's the only one who's smart. She's jelous of the relationship that me and my father have. She thinks everybody elses opinions and actions are stupid, except for those of my brother who always kisses her ass. Everyone elses emotions are ridiculous or stupid to her. She rejects any criticism to her person. Everytime she feels bad it's always other people's fault, she blames others for any problems she may have that actually stem from her own behavior. She's not able to be introspective. But she thinks she knows what's best for other people. She has temper tantrums, like a child, when nobody kisses her ass.
She's emotionally manipulative, and passive agressive in ways that i've never seen in other people: she's a bad person, i've never met anyone as bad as her, other people have empathy and a conscience. But she lacks both of those things, she doesn't care about anyone but herself (the only one she doesn't criticize is herself in fact, she never admits she's wrong, even when she there is indisputable evidence that she is). She really emphasizes her self importance.
I live with her, and i'm forced to live with her because i can't work due to my mental illness. Help me, i don't think i can take it any longer. I have depression and all i see i black. I don't know if i want to keep living like this, i'm in a rat cage and i can't escape.
17 Dec 2021, 2:28 am
