Unpleasant experience in a store today

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Today me and my boyfriend went to my favourite store to buy some art supplies and other bits we wanted/needed. The store wasn't too busy for a Saturday morning, but the length of the queue said otherwise.

By the way this store is not open 24 hours a day and does not have self-service check-outs.


There was only 2 cashiers and about 16 people in the queue, and people were getting impatient. I had some large sheets of paper and when it was our turn to be served I gave them to the cashier first then held on to them while my boyfriend got the bag ready to pack our other things into. But as I was clutching the large sheets of paper (as there wasn't a bag big enough for them to go into) the cashier gestured the basket of our other items sitting on the ground by the check-out (as the check-outs in this store don't have a space to put your basket on, you have to load the thing up yourself).
I thought my boyfriend was taking care of that while I held on to the large sheets on paper and was ready to help pack, but he didn't seem to want to do it, so I gave him the sheets of paper, saw that the people in the queue were looking flustered and impatient, and quickly loaded the rest of our items from the basket on to the check-out for the cashier to scan. But while I was doing it, my boyfriend called me to come and pick the sheets of paper up off the floor, as he had leaned them against the wall and they had fallen. He sometimes has trouble bending right down because of his knees, but I told him that I was busy loading the items on to the thing and that there was a queue waiting and that I couldn't go and pick the papers up at that instant.

He managed to pick up the sheets of paper and we packed our items into the bags and paid. Then as we were walking out the door, the alarm sounded - like it usually does whenever I walk out that door. By then I was really stressed and I wasn't in the mood for further humiliation so I was ready to ask a member of staff who would check me to see if I'd stolen anything why the alarm often goes off whenever I walk out, but nobody came, so we just carried on walking out to the car.

How would you have felt in this situation? I tell my boyfriend that he really needs to learn to chill a bit when at the check-out in stores and not to rush, because I believe that the more you rush the slower you'll be. I got into a confused pickle because of it, where as if he was more chilled then I would have been chilled too.

they need to get their alarm system fixed?

but yes I stay calmer around rational people, so similar thing.

I really hate grocery shopping at supermarkets.
My partner always gets stressed and angry and that makes me want to hide because i find that behaviour embarrassing.

I like small, friendly shops.
Last time i was at the the corner store
The guy in front of me at the checkout was feeling the bags of nuts on the counter display.
He said, "They're full of air!"
I pointed at the packet and said, "May contain nuts."
Everyone in the queue, including the cashier laughed
And it just felt pleasant and everyone went out with a smile.
Thats how it should be.

The store workers know that the alarm doesn’t work properly.

I would be disconcerted—but realize that the alarm isn’t working properly.

False alarms are the norm. Not the exception. At least when I worked at a drug store when we first got them installed.
I dont recall them EVER causing us to capture a real thief.

So dont take it personally.

It seems to be nowadays, because it happens a lot whenever I walk out of stores but it never, ever used to. But the funny thing is I don't hear it go off while I'm in the store when other people are walking in and out, but as soon as I go through it sounds.

I think it's a bad idea because A, it's unfair for those of us with social anxiety, and B, it's basically crying wolf because if someone does steal something they can learn to act calm as the alarm is going off and just walk out with an unpaid item and just pretend like it's a false alarm.

Plus I got falsely accused of stealing before in another store, and it was extremely embarrassing and humiliating for me (and there were no alarms involved). I have social anxiety so things like this will be 100 times more humiliating even though anyone would find it humiliating to be shown up in the street like that when you're innocent. So it now makes me feel uneasy when walking out of stores, and it doesn't help my nerves when the f*****g alarm sounds like that. It makes everyone look and they might think "that stupid girl!" or "that criminal!"

The alarm would sound sometimes when my father and I would go to a home store (Lowe’s) when I was in my 20s and he would always put his arms up in the air in a ‘they caught me’ pose and a grin. And the cashier would chuckle and wave us through.

There are some who abhor them, but I love the self-checkout because it lets me go at my own speed and I’m not standing there feeling like a doofus / awkward.

Stinks when you’ve got your hands full and you’re all flustered.

I make a point of remembering which places give lots of false positives.