Seriously, why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?!

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Strongly agree. Thank you for your post, Fireblossom.

^

Excellent points Fireblossom!

I also like that this is in The Haven because people aren’t really supposed to dismiss, criticize, or invalidate what you say here so it feels safer.

Women’s struggles in L&D are frequently invalidated or belittled. It’s beyond frustrating. There needs to be less of a focus on gender and more on people. It really isn’t that hard to be more inclusive.

Although, men are also attacked in L&D for having a lack of a love life, usually by people who call them "entitled". Read the thread again that I linked to in my last post. If every single "how do I get a girlfriend?" thread is responded to with "stop being entitled" or "nobody has a 'right' to a relationship anyway" regardless of what else is said, then that doesn't help either. Instead, it backfires and that's when you get some men expressing more misogynistic views.

Last edited by Jono on 29 Mar 2023, 3:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

No, thank you for tirelessly standing up for women. Like I've said, while I don't post in L&D, I do lurk there, and I've seen what you do. Few others too, but somehow, you stand out.

I don't understand the situation.
If someone or anyone is being attacked, wouldn't the post be deleted if the post is reported?
Could it be that WHAT the woman is saying is simply being disagreed with?
It is permissible to point out poor reasoning/arguments or simply have a different OPINION.

I have been in a situation where I simply had a different opinion, and it turned into a gender war.
I felt that because I was a man, I wasn't allowed to have my own opinion because it differed from what a woman had said.
I found this unacceptable, and I still do.
And, no, I wasn't talking on behalf of women.
It had to do with life observations and statistics.

Plz note.
My attitude is to agree to disagree rather than try and assert dominance.
DEFENDING my position is NOT asserting dominance.

That's what I should've done from the beginning, is what I know now that I look back to it. But I'm not good with technology and back then I didn't know what the report button is for... technically, I suppose I could go back to L&D now that I know what it is, but on emotional side, it still doesn't feel safe. After all, in order for me to report an attack, the attack has to happen, and after it has happened, the (possible emotional) damage has already been done. I get so much of it IRL without being able to avoid it (though in a very different form) that I'd rather avoid it online when I can.



A disagreement is an attack if it's made known with personal insults in tow. Or would you not consider being called a superficial gold digger as an attack? I know you like to answer with jokes, but for this one, give a serious answer. Would you consider it offensive or not? And don't say that you'd just let it go in from one ear and out of the other, 'cause while you have the full right to deal with insults aimed at yourself that way, you can't expect it from others.

Of course, it is possible that some of the times I felt attacked were just clumsy wordings, but when the same people attack me time and time again, it can't all just be poor communication.

Some ppl get enormous satisfaction from having other ppl's posts removed.
Perhaps if you thought about it that way?




Have I been joking at all in my reply?
Why would I do that now?
And besides, jokes are not allowed in The Haven.

What you describe above constitutes an attack, IMO.
Calling someone a "gold-digger" ISN'T a personal attack?
Could someone explain why they might think it isn't?



How I approach things has no relevance in this discussion, imo.

If you are attacked, and you are offended, you can report it and have the post removed.
You would then be in the position of having power over your abusers.
THAT would be most satisfying, I would imagine.



If you are unsure if you are being attacked, you could consult a friend or a mod in PM.
Or you could simply hit the report button and ask if "this" constitutes a personal attack.

Thanks, Fireblossom , but I can't take the credit....I often have trouble articulating my thoughts, so can't do as much standing up as I'd like to. And, like you, I try to avoid L&D most of the time. Issy, Twilight and Magz do most of the hard work. And we have UCD onboard too.

Just out of interest. What rules would you put in the L&D forum in order to make it safer?

In ANY forum on the internet that has a love/dating section there will always be posts showing bitterness about the other sex - due to the nature of this context, this thing is not exclusive to Wrongplanet only nor Wrongplanet is unique about it, nor the Aspies are more prone to it than NTs - it is everywhere; some bitterness vents can be (falsly or righfully) interpreted as misogyny/misandry , and some can be plain misogyny/misandry/blackpill stuff too.

I think I don't understand the question. Could you try to rephrase it?



In this thread, no. I meant in general; I've seen you do it in other threads. I said what I said in case you would consider answering jokingly.

I know it does. What I meant is that some people have told their own opinions, which is allowed, but also called me names in the same post they've done that, which isn't allowed, so I've reported those posts. Of course, a mod could always edit those posts and just remove the insults, but personally, I prefer seeing the whole post removed as it sends a clearer message that a wrong thing has been done.



I would have to disagree with this; when one takes part in a discussion, their input is usually greatly affected by their own experiences and what they'd do in different situations. But if you don't want to get in to a level that is clearly personal and tell what you would do, then that's fair.



Your imagination is a bit off, at least in my case. Getting the mods to punish the abusers does make me feel better, but I'd feel even better than that if the abuse didn't happen in the first place, because when it has happened, it has already done damage. Putting a band aid on doesn't make a wound go away either, no?



There have been times when I've felt like there's an attack, but haven't been sure. In those cases, I've either let the message be or reported it, asking mod's opinion on the matter. Usually the former, but the later too a few times.



I would ban making offensive generalizations about specific groups of people. It's done in L&D a lot, biggest and most common attacked group that I've seen being "women", but "aspie men" is also not a rare group. Other than that, nothing comes to mind from the top of my head, but I would like increased surveillance on L&D -section specifically and that people who repeatedly post offensive things would get blocked from the site more often.
Maybe I should add that by "specific groups of people" I mean the kind of groups that one can't choose to belong to or not, like gender, race, age or sexuality. Choosing to be a part of a political or religious group is a different thing in my opinion, and making generalizations about those groups could be treated differently, at least in PPR.



Possibly, but that doesn't mean it should be that way. We should all do our part in preventing offensive content, at least by not posting it ourselves if nothing else.

There's a campaign?
First I've heard of it, and I get to read the reports made.

What? A Campaign? I bet I can tell you who has reported most of my posts - it was me

I've been known to report the PMs I write, and some of the LD comments I write.

Nutter that girl, Isa. Nutter!