"You can do anything you set your mind to"

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What did you waste a lot of time, money and energy on, and did not improve at, (or did not improve enough)?

Some Doctor Spock Psychobabble types (like schoolteachers), like to say "you can do anything you set your mind to."

However, plenty of factors determine the outcome: effort, efficiency, health, luck, discrimination, situation, economy, personality. Effort is just one of those factors. Some of those factors, the person does not control. Some of those factors, nobody controls. Some of those factors, cannot be measured. For example, some children get cancer and drop dead. No matter what they set their mind to, they will not be able to accomplish their goals. Thus, it is not correct, "you can do anything you set your mind to."

"You can do anything you set your mind to" used to feel like a condescending, patronizing, judgmental, *smack across my f*****g face*. I have set my mind to plenty of things and then failed. For example, structural engineering. Hearing "you can do anything you set your mind to", makes it sound like the speaker thinks that I never put energy or effort into anything in my whole stupidass "life", and that is the reason why i have nothing to show for it. The reason why I am just a Lot Attendant @ Home Depot, is *not* b/c I never put effort into anything before in my dumbfuck "life", s**t. So please do not tell me that statement or anything else like that.

Taken literally, it is obviously a foolish statement. Nothing and nobody in the world, no amount of setting my mind to it, could have made me an Olympic high jumper, nor even a mediocre one, the potential just wasn't there to begin with. On the other hand I was good at some other things without trying much at all. The things I DID have to "set my mind" to were some things I could do but just didn't like, because they didn't really interest me, but which were a necessary step on the way to a bigger goal.

I wonder where and when the "you can do anything..." platitude first arose (?). Maybe in a pioneering culture???

Probably started by one of those nauseating motivational speakers.
It absolves them of responsibility for any advice given.
If you haven't achieved x,y,z, it's all your fault.
Because you could do it, you just choose not to.
Blame and shame BS.

I once thought that "You can do anything you set your mind to" was bogus until I served in the military.  Once through boot camp, I realized that I am capable of lots more than what I once believed.  Six year later, with an honorable discharge on my DD214, I realized that I am even capable of more than what my ex-wife, siblings, and other relatives believed.

Maybe I can't do everything I set my mind to, but I can do a helluva lot more than just sit on my butt and complain.

Things that willpower and external action did not help me nor made it easier, but solving the hidden burdens of the subconscious and inner processing work head on did.

Most of which are related to executive dysfunction.

All I'm pursuing now is anything to rule out health issues that causes executive dysfunction; or rather, ridding of whatever's making all my executive function skills "inaccessible" or unreliable.

Most of it is actually my sleep quality, my diet though and hormonal imbalances, which I still really struggle...

That I'm not 'lazy', that I really am not healthy.
That it's not 'autism', it's this solvable bodily and mental human dysfunction.

And I hate to just bare and just cope. Having to cope or "just coping" is what most of my problems are coming from if at all.

And most of my coping happens when everyone is telling me to 'YoU cAn Do iT!! !'. More like, get a flaming coal, put it on your palm and pretend it doesn't hurt because mind-over-matter lol.


Yeah, yeah I get it that all is perception.

But not everyone has a good subconscious template that actually make someone succeed in spite of their circumstances and ended up in doing things they set their minds to.

Not everyone gets those traits; not giving up, bullheaded motivation, no fear of failure, overall internal and external resilience, 'growth mindset', actually knowing how to make do with less, etc.
Basically traits and characteristics that are featured in inspiration porn.

Most of those are really just luck; some can choose to learn them, but not everyone can or will.

And many of those 'who made it' are less empathetic, because they all expect everyone to 'get over themselves'. It's not so simple.

Little do they know, they're the exemption, not the rule. Victors of survivorship bias sees unfair and unjust system as 'fair'.

Not everything, but there's some interesting doors you can open

I'm with Fnord on this one.

I understand that people preaching positive mindsets can be annoying, particularly if you've had a few knock-backs.

That said, I'd still prefer to approach the world with an attitude of "I can" than "I can't". With a sprinkling of realism.

I'm doing it at the moment I've recently taken a job which is way out of my comfort zone and only doing it with reveal whether it's something I can do or not.

One of my favourite memories of my young daughter was when she decided she could ice skate at age 2. I think she'd seen it in a movie or something. So I took her to a rink where she flatly refused to either hold my hand or use one of those stability aids they give kids shaped like a penguin. She just got on the ice and...skated. The rink owners couldn't believe it, they'd never seen anyone so young so determined to do it. She wasn't a savant at it or anything, she was all over the place but she just never questioned her ability to do it.

I think about that a lot when I'm questioning whether I can do something. Your mindset isn't the only factor in whether you'll succeed or not, but it's important.

I can't even set my mind to setting my mind on something.

It is amazing what people can accomplish when they don't know they are "supposed to" fail.

You did good in helping her find out for herself.

What do they give kids who aren't shaped like a penguin?

It's not meant to be taken literally. Obviously there are things we can't do. It's merely meant to be taken like a pep talk.(An obnoxious and annoying one.) Why can't you let this sort of thing slide off you? You're taking it way too personally.

I so agree.

School is the only thing I've ever been good at. Ever since I graduated, I've been failing at everything I try. And sadly I can't stay in school forever.

That's the worst feeling I know.

No, I can't do anything I set my mind to. It's called autism. I work my way around it by concentrating on the things I can do.