confidence

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This week (as in 7 day period, this is friday from my point of view besides the fact that it is past 03:00 since i have not gone to sleep yet) i have had it quite rough. To begin with i have experienced an episode where i acted like a real as*hole due to social confusion in the weekend. Neadless to say i have obsessed about it the whole week trough. Then i went to be conscripted (yes Sweden practices conscription) where they told me that i was not fitted for military service by the psychologist. One would think that this would suit me just as well considering that i do not have any desire to lie in the forest for a year playing wargames. However this has all the same taken a beating to my confidence. This confidence has been in a downhill slope the whole winter due to depression and me obsessing over things i do all the time due to my isolation with few distractions except for books music and computergames. So i skipped school these two days where i was not at the conscription office (100+ metric miles). I am quite freaked out as i have always have had an adequate (as the shrinks put it) self image. I have barely been able to go to school this winter, i thought it would get better as it got brighter daytime but this has not happened (not the brighter thing). I was going to write a question to (probably primarily to justify my writing here) but i cant remember it so forward umbrella casual knight, in time.

I have no confidence either. I KNOW I AM a dang good firefighter, but if one other FF (that dislikes me) tells me Im a "dumb a$$", ah, well then, its weeks of doubts again for me sometimes.

I'm the same way - I can do 500 calls exactly right - with 200 of them being calls other people say 'I would have just FREAKED OUT on that one - how did you do it and be so calm?!'

But I make one little mistake on one call - ever - and I'm convinced I'm going to get fired over it . . .

I have really no self confidence at all - I'm always amazed that people choose to interact with me or keep me around at all . . .

I know what you mean ...

I am EXTREMELY self-critical ... even if a mistake is NOT my fault, I somehow blame myself, and my self-confidence is shot for weeks.


Wonder if it's an aspie thing ...

I don't think its a aspie thing. I think because of being abused and kicked down by bullies all our lives that screws our confidence.

I have NO confidence. In the past I turned down 3 girls before I started to think "hey maybe they are not doing this just to make fool out of me" Or "may be they wont stop liking me when they get to know me better" Im not sure about those things though I have had one relationship that lasted a few weeks during those weeks it went all the way but I was still afraid she would grow to hate me. That relationship broke up because I said I was leaving town. I had to leave because of my depression at the time. It has taken me 10 months to start getting over that depression but now my confidence is still bad and I havn't socialised in the 10 months that I have spent trying to get over my depression. I think I stuffed up my only chances of relationships especailly with a girl that looked that good I don't think any other girl will like me. let alone a girl like my last girl friend I don't know why she found me attractive.

I am afraid of approaching strangers i am kind of ok once I get to know people but it is still hard to not go back into my shell and stop being able to communicate with them again because I am not confident enough to.

I have no idea how I am going to find going back to uni on the 13 of feb. I hope it goes as well as last time I went to study just with out me getting depressed but I dout it will. I can still hope though.

Please disregard this post

I had very little to zero self confidence since I was 13, but that is starting to change. I thought very little about myself and my abilities. I thought seriously I was ugly and fat, this is from a guy whom many say is quite cute or handsome and who weighed no more than 80 kgs (177 lbs) on a 173cm (5'8") frame. It was a shock and revelation when my driving instructor told me that a female student of my university he was teaching before me, was interested in me, she was not bad looking either.

I thought especially after failing TAFE first time around and when I was finding it very hard to find work after completing a Certificate IV in Accounting, that would muddle through life the best I could. I kind of thought even in the later years of High School I would have a middle income job, maybe an university education and be single for the rest of his life.

My total lack of confidence meant that I did not bother to socialise with fellow students on campus last semester, because I thought I was beneath them. Now things are starting to become different, I have some confidence in my talents and where I am headed in life.

I don't have confidence in my looks, my personality, or my abilities. I guess I don't have any confidence whatsoever and it sucks. That's why I hate it when people say mean things to me because I already critisize myself enough and then they just have to confirm it even more.

Agreed.. I am very self critical and I have no confidence in myself at all really. The few things I do feel alright about people are quick to critisize me or disregard my efforts and that doesn't help at all coz if people attack what I feel I am good at then what are they gonna say to things I think I'm bad at..?

For me, it comes in waves. For example, I had a few days last week where I was really doubting myself and my abilities, but I've recovered since then and feel reasonably good about things now.

What you have to do is speak up for yourself and let yourself know that you do have confidence. I know this from experience.

no confidence either and super self-critical. of course, that's thanks to my mom who made sure i knew i was failure at everything.
april

I don't have confidence in myself, and I don't have confidence in anything else either- meaning that I'm a pessimist. I constantly expect both that circumstances will be against me and that I'll screw up.

Once I took an exam for a school, was sure I hadn't gotten in and found out I'd won a scholarship. That hasn't increased my confidence about exams though.

I also find it very difficult to believe that people like me- that they're not just being nice to me.

NTs treat self-confidence as a factor of personality; for me, it's only an expectation about a specific occurence or set of related occurrences. For example, I am perfectly confident in my academic abilities, but I have much less confidence in my social skills. This is because repeated activity in these domains has led me to conclude that my probability of receiving a good grade in a class is high; my probability of making a friend or getting a girlfriend is almost nil.

For new experiences, I am usually aware of the possibility of both success and failure. NTs expect a person with a healthy sense of self-esteem to ignore the what-ifs and for a person with low self-esteem to focus only on the what-ifs. That's just not how I am, though.

If confidence came in the form of a Pill, I'd take it, every Morning.