losing it

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Joined: 3 Dec 2009
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,067

03 Oct 2010, 12:16 pm

I'm freaked. crying, trembling, pacing, trembling, crying, stopped crying, staring. I can't work this out. I'm autistic. I always have been. And I was brutally and sadistically abused by crazy people. What else? I'm already destroyed.

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 12:35 pm

I hate this site. It sucks worse than any site on the internet.

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 12:50 pm

In my mind, it is just a silent scream.

Alliy
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03 Oct 2010, 12:59 pm

You are not alone. You are never alone. If you want to talk, feel free to send me a message. I am here.

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 1:00 pm

I hate being autistic. Everything more or less gets trapped "inside". What goes in, stays in.

The abusers couldn't get me to scream out. It was because I "couldn't".
I hate you b*****s who made me say that.

leejosepho
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03 Oct 2010, 1:05 pm

Keep posting, Meadow. I think of you often.

_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 1:10 pm

I hate being autistic. This trauma is trapped inside.

leejosepho
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03 Oct 2010, 1:56 pm

Trying to say this very thoughtfully and considerately ...

Personally, I still work at sorting trauma from drama ... or maybe drama from trauma ... like trying to discern between being traumatically dramatic and dramatically traumatic. But either way, yes, we are traumatized.

_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 1:56 pm

Alliy wrote:

You are not alone. You are never alone. If you want to talk, feel free to send me a message. I am here.

Thank you

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 1:59 pm

leejosepho wrote:

I don't have any confusion there, at all. There's a huge difference between trauma and drama. Just because you don't know the difference doesn't mean everyone doesn't.

leejosepho
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03 Oct 2010, 2:03 pm

Meadow wrote:

There's a huge difference between trauma and drama. Just because you don't know the difference doesn't mean everyone doesn't.

I certainly do know the difference ... and that leaves the matter of our actual actions to be sorted and discerned.

_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 2:08 pm

leejosepho wrote:

Meadow wrote:

There's a huge difference between trauma and drama. Just because you don't know the difference doesn't mean everyone doesn't.

I certainly do know the difference ... and that leaves the matter of our actual actions to be sorted and discerned.

There is nothing between you and I to discern. Please take your judgment and move along.

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 2:11 pm

leejosepho wrote:

How dare you try to tell me it is a question of drama!! You are one stupid f**k. That's all I can say to you.

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 2:16 pm

^One minute you say keep posting, the next minute it's more along the lines of "put a sock in it" mentality.

Are you schizophrenic? :lol:

Meadow
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03 Oct 2010, 3:08 pm

I'm autistic. I can't even talk about it effectively. And I get people like you trying to shove it back down my throat more, like I haven't been pushed down enough. I don't get you morons. Has no one ever been through anything? Apparently not.

Baratos
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Joined: 20 Oct 2006
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03 Oct 2010, 3:20 pm

If you want to talk, I have way too much free time and have a little bit of experience with talking to people who have trouble communicating.

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