Kind of Afraid and Don't Know What to Do ...

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I feel like I'm having a breakdown. I've been in bad living situation for a while now (there's another neighbor not detailed in the post below who has been causing problems since I moved in last May, too) and it's gotten worse.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3212651 ... t=#3212651

Last week, I got a phone call letting me know the new tenants had brought cockroaches into the building and they would be fumigating. The blaring music during wee hours of the morning continued, so I called the landlord Saturday to complain and she told me she was starting the eviction process on them.

Then last night, I got a call from my landlord, asking me to clarify my statements about what I'd seen/heard from the other tenants. She went on to tell me that when she went to give them the eviction notice, the person on the lease assaulted her (I'm not sure if it got physical, the only things the landlord mentioned specificaly were that the tenant screamed at her and threw things). They say they are planning to take her to court and appeal the eviction, so they are not going anywhere anytime soon. This could take months. The landlord (and the tenant, I guess) will be trying to subpoena witnesses, which is why the landlord contacted me.

I don't have any desire to testify, especially against this tenant and the other people she has living the apartment; they're intimidating and I'm scared of them. This landlord has talked about other tenants with me by name in the past, so I'm afraid she may have named names about who complained about them when delivering the eviction notice. I live alone and don't feel especially safe now, given that these people are crazy enough to have attacked the landlord.

I want to leave as soon as possible, but can't find any decent vacancies, since not a lot of people want to move over Christmas, I guess. Plus, I have until April 30th on my lease and can't really get out of this without owing a lot of money, given that technically the landlord is trying to remedy the situation. And, I don't really have anyone to stay with, other than my mother who is crazy, lives about an hour away from where I work and didn't have money to pay her heating bill this month. (It's like 30 degrees in PA right now).

I know it's probably just the sleep deprivation is making me not think clearly, but I'm afraid to go home. I'm sitting in cubicle at work right now and can't stop shaking or crying no matter what I do; I'm not sure if it's some kind of panic attack or what. I feel like I'm up against a wall and don't know how to get out of this. I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but right now I honestly wish I was dead. And, I didn't do anything wrong; all of this has been completely out of my control.

I managed to get about three hours of sleep last night out on my sofa, since it was too noisy to sleep in my bedroom (their speakers are against that wall), but now my back is out from sleeping on my sofa and I'm in a ton of pain. I'm thinking about maybe checking into a hotel the next few days, just in order to get some sleep and clarity on the situation, until I figure out what I should do. What do you guys think?

It is not at all fair that your neighbors are treating you that way at all. You should be able to peacefully live where you live without the noise. They seem like violent people and probably should be signing a lease in jail rather than in your building. And as unfortunate as it is and from what you have described, you are right to be afraid.

Never the less, you need to take care of yourself in this moment. Not sleeping is probably not helping you, so going to a hotel for a few days may be a good option. It will give you some time to clear your head, get some sleep, and come up with your next move.

I hope you get some sleep and get things figured out.

Buy a gun to defend yourself. Don't talk to them but I wouldn't be scared of them either if you have protection.

I don't know if I'd feel comfortable buying a gun, but do think I'll at least get some pepper spray or something. This morning when I was going outside to my car, I could see someone in their apartment peeking out of their blinds and was thinking I'd feel better if I had some kind of protection for when entering/leaving the building.

My concern with a gun is that it can pose a far greater danger if the user isn't confident in using it. The gun can get taken away and used on its owner. A gun might be an appropriate thing in this case, but it is critical that anyone getting a gun to protect themselves also gets proper training in how to use it.

Pepper spray might be a safer alternative, but it also requires that the user know how to use it without having it used against her.

It sounds like a volatile situation that seems to only be growing worse. Getting away would be the ideal solution. Can you discuss ending your lease early due to the very real danger posed by other tenants? It doesn't really matter that the landlord is beginning the eviction process. Under the circumstances, they should let you out of the lease.

In the meantime, what are the options of trying to calm the tensions between you and the offending tenants? Obviously if they do not know you have complained, you don't want to spill the beans and end up with them focusing their anger directly at you. Is it possible to talk with them in a moderately friendly manner so they don't think of you when they get angry?

I've had a few experiences like this many years ago and they are extremely stressful. Hopefully it is a situation where the offending tenants are yelling a lot but won't actually do anything beyond that. Nevertheless, you have to be careful.

I would first let the landlord know your name should never have been mentioned to anyone at all (except for possibly an officer of the court, if absolutely necessary) and that you have nothing to report from this point forward. Then, I would possibly call the police if I ever heard any voices sounding like a domestic disturbance. The idea of a hotel for some occasional escape is a good one if you can afford that, but apart from just moving to wherever you can and telling your landlord where to stick the remainder of your lease, I have no idea how to bring your kind of dilemma to an immediate end.

Well I would either
A. Go talk to the landlord tell her you are afraid to live there and you need to get out of your lease. That you (might be willing to write up a testimony in her favor if she will let you out of the lease without the fees)
B. Go find a place to rent the housing market sucks so a lot of houses might be up for rent.
C Stay a few nights in a hotel and consider getting a pet(a nice dog)

blueroses,

(Is that your real pic? You are beautiful)

The bottom line is that you have to live in a better part of town, even if you have to share with roommates.

Yes you can buy a gun and if need be, use it. Unfortunately you will probably end up going to jail even if you are just defending yourself.

The thing about bad people is that they are crazy. Or crazy people are bad. Whatever.

If some huge drunken oaf grabs you in the hall and you pump a couple of slugs into him then YOU are going to jail for shooting an "unarmed" man.

Just get the hell out of there.

Update: On Christmas Day, I woke up to see a giant sinkhole outside with orange cones around it and then discovered I had no running water! I was ready to call the landlord to find out what was going on when there was a knock at my door.

It turned out to be the neighbor who is driving me crazy, wondering if I knew what was going on. She wasn't very warm or friendly, but we did have a very brief conversation that did not involve any mention of the lawsuit or escalate to her assaulting me. (It was a Christmas miracle!!) Unfortunately, the sinkhole, which was caused by a broken water main, meant that I could not have my family over for Christmas dinner as planned (hard to cook with no running water) and sort of ruined Christmas, but it did get fixed yesterday. Part of me wished the sinkhole would have just swallowed the place up and then I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, but no such luck.

I am still having trouble sleeping with all the noise and am actively looking for another place. I am waiting to hear back after leaving a message with my landlord to see if it will be possible to negotiate a way out of the remaining few months of the lease and leave on semi-friendly terms. But, if not, I will just leave early anyway, despite the financial penalties, if I can find a better place. (I am being rather cautious about signing another lease because I don't want to get myself into another bad situation).

The frustrating thing is, Wombat, it's not a bad section of town and is a beautiful apartment, so it makes me sad that these people are basically driving me out. (I don't think I will be able to find a better-looking apartment than this in my price-range, actually, but I can compromise on amenities. Health, safety and sleep are all that are non-negotiable at this point). When I first moved in, my next door neighbor was a chemist and grad student at Johns Hopkins and it looked like it was going to be a quiet neighborhood. I just managed to have a streak of bad luck as far as the neighbors since, unfortunately.

What kind of outs does your lease have? Most states have laws that require landlords to keep minimum standards in their buildings, given the situation your in it wouldn't hurt to talk to an attorney. You might be able to claim your landlord is in breach or in violation of the law and get out of your lease without penalty.

That’s good news , you can now start the new year on a positive note. With a plan of escape, you might find that it makes the issues with your neighbors a little more tolerable. We all tend to blow things out of proportion in our thinking when we are overwhelmed and feeling hopeless.

The only other thing I could suggest is that you consider converting your lease to a month to month agreement. Your landlord might agree to it. I’m sure she doesn’t want to lose a good tenant and it appears that you like the place and would consider staying once your crazy neighbor is evicted. This way you would always have an 30 day bail out plan if you needed it. Maybe you can outlast your neighbor in this situation. Let the good, triumph over the powers of darkness and let there be peace on earth..... or something like that:)

So - be strong, be brave, be positive - we are all pulling for you
Keep us updated.
And we know you’re always nice- you can’t fool us.