Why people say I am hurting others when I self harm.

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I dont understand this at all really, why do people tell me I am hurting others when I am only hurting myself like physical self harm and telling myself Im worthless etc? its not like im doing it to them just myself when I have a meltdown and when they get bad I do self harm better myself than someone else I also at times tend to consider everyone else more important than me anyway. I dont get it.

Understand it this way. And I hope you get the point to. The reason others are hurt when you say things to emotionally hurt yourself or cause yourself physical harm is because people actually do care about you. Self-harm is something that scares people off and it hurts them when they develop some sort of feelings for you. And sometimes putting others above yourself is not the best option. You have to look out for yourself and if you can't do that, it will hurt others.

They want you to feel guilty enough to stop.

How would you feel if it was your own child doing it or parent or friend?

To shorten what I said to say the least.

Frustrated. Dealing with another person's self-pity is as difficult as trying to deal with another person's self-pride.

Last edited by Fnord on 22 Nov 2012, 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Pretty hurt and concearned. I guess your right I didnt see it that way. Of course when Im having a meltdown I dont really see things too clearly just alot of frustration, hurt, self hatred, anger, sadness, and helpless at the same time.

It can be difficult at times when I have a bad meltdown because I am already guilty but also angry sad frustrated helpless and hating myself at the same time.

When you hurt yourself, you also hurt those who care about you. It's hard to keep that in mind when you get into a self-destructive frame of mind, though. Are you in counselling for this? It's a very dangerous path to be going down.

It's not self-pity for me; it's an extreme anger. I'm just glad that in my case it never manifested itself in violence to others.

I have in the past I dont do it as much as i use to and 90% of the time Im now able to combat the urges to cause physical self harm but once in a great while and it takes ALOT I will harm myself during a meltdown but lately I just shut myself off and am quiet get away from everyone and try and forgive myself as well.[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWgApN3GZwA[/youtube]Also try and reinforce my thoughts with possitive thoughts and keep telling myself tommorows a brand new day.This video kinda helped me alot I feel exactly the same when having a meltdown.

I do these things too. I keep telling myself that I just have to feel the pain and get through it and that it will eventually pass.

Otherwise this is pretty much what its like in my head when im melting down and in self hate mode [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlEQEqq9yVg[/youtube]basicly crona being me in my mind and ragnarok and medusa being my negative self hating thoughts medusa representing how I think others think of me and ragnarok being my own negative thoughts added to it leading to self harm.

In my experience it seems people feel that way, because if they care its just hard for them to see someone they care about intentionally hurting them self, or something like that.

so I guess Im not alone when it comes to doing this, I found an interesting site on self injurious behavior http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-au ... viour.aspx I think mine kind of involves this category found on the site

Mental health issues

Some self-injurious behaviour may be indicative of underlying mental health issues such as depression or anxiety, particularly in individuals with high-functioning autism or Asperger syndrome.

Yeah it helps a whole lot and sometimes its good to love oneself its so hard though when in that state. Othertimes I just grab some booze get drunk and forget why I was hating myself and get over it quicker then once sober I realize the reason I was hating myself was stupid.