Made a decision

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I have been berated and abused by people for a very long time. If I am unable to make a difference in people's lives within 5 years I'll just kill myself...sleeping pills. Request that my body be buried without a coffin so new life can form.

The future is looking slightly brighter, but it seems like I will not give anything to the world.

A lot of autistic people seem to express concern about being 'useless' and then cut people off when they're suddenly needed. Are you sure you're not putting too much weight into your social utility? Do you really find it so important and at the same time so impossible to achieve?

My passions are art and music, and they are a form of communication. If I've failed at that, then I've failed at my one function I wish to do for society.

How can you measure making an impact in other's lives?

You may impact someone's life and never know it.

You know sometimes it takes more then 5 years before you can feel like you made a difference in this world.

It may take more than 5 years, I just want to see progress. I have not been seeing any despite starting a band up with a guitarist, although my solo material is coming along nicely.

Not sure what you mean by this.

What is the indication of success that you seek? How do you measure it? Is it recognition, record and merchandise sales, content with your own progress?

My frank opinion though, modern musicians produce their best material in adolescence and then make a career living off said material and recognition. Not so much the case with classic literature and painting and whatnot.

That’s understandable. .



I just happen to see this from you on another forum

Playing six instruments composing music and writing your own lyrics is nothing to wink at. You have great potential at making an impact on people’s lives through the medium of music. Look it’s not much comfort but a lot of people have come and gone in this life without realizing the impact they have had on it, they never even saw it. That’s call leaving a legacy. The fact that you have been berated and abused by people tells me you must be having some impact, mediocrity rarely targets it’s own.

Self content, having a loyal fanbase and overall always taking myself to higher levels of skill. Many are frustrated though that my bass covers aren't the same as the original. Here's a video you can listen to to hear my bass playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HOUSDbDHgQ

I just happen to see this from you on another forum

Playing six instruments composing music and writing your own lyrics is nothing to wink at. You have great potential at making an impact on people’s lives through the medium of music. Look it’s not much comfort but a lot of people have come and gone in this life without realizing the impact they have had on it, they never even saw it. That’s call leaving a legacy. The fact that you have been berated and abused by people tells me you must be having some impact, mediocrity rarely targets it’s own.[/quote]

Hmm...I should really have said 5 and learning keyboard. Just got keyboard and need to learn sheet music before I can delve into that really seriously...that or I can improvise parts at the studio (it is mostly for fun/screwing around right now.)

Hmm...so my artwork you think is a good way of giving to a world that treated me like s**t. That makes a lot of sense, considering most call my lyrics dark as hell haha. Art is powerful, no doubt. I just hope I don't end up unemployed, my biggest fear.

Yeah, never mind about my "decision" then. It'd just be a waste of all my progress thus far. Why I posted it in here, to get some opinions.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts217437-highlight.html

This might give some insight here, was a delusional fixation I was having (the decision thing.)

Oh right, I remember watching another bass cover video from you. Technical ability is definitely something you develop over a long period of time given the dedication, so prematurely ending your life won't help achieve much. Have you considered finding a tutor? I used to have one and she didn't mind my quirks (though she kept confusing me with somebody else who supposedly had Downs Syndrome, which always upset me), I got rather far in spite of my natural lack of musical talent.

I think I'm a good musician but have abandoned it recently to be a writer. I was failing at success anyway. The writing seems to be working out, though. It's good to have option.

BTW, I'm the guitarist in the band below.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdlkYymTCxY[/youtube]

the no coffin things is cool. gaia thanks you.

now don't kill yoursself please.

look irrc you are very young about 17. i know you have heard this before but 17 blows goats big time, ok? if offered a choice between dismemberment and being 17 again, i'd pick dismemeberment.

life gets betterr around 30 at least mine did.

you make a difference in the world. sometimes i read your posts and actually feel some infinistessimal hope for the younger generation. you are needded ok dont die.

Interesting comment BuyerBeware. What do you mean that i give you hope for today's youth?