Feeling racist after being harassed by a black man

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DevilKisses
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12 Nov 2015, 3:08 am

On Monday I got harassed by a black man. Ever since that happened I feel anxious whenever I see black men or hear African sounding accents. I keep getting thoughts about black people being too primitive for me to deal with. I know those are racist thoughts. I don't want to turn into a racist person. How can I get past this?


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Kiprobalhato
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12 Nov 2015, 3:15 am

"african sounding" accents, like african american vernacular?

acknowledge those thoughts are derived from strong emotion and are irrational, really.

i would be unsurprised if most people had negative thoughts about a group after an incident like yours, but are afraid to say so because they don't want to appear "racist", like you say. probably something to with our tribal origins.


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DevilKisses
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12 Nov 2015, 3:41 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
"african sounding" accents, like african american vernacular?

acknowledge those thoughts are derived from strong emotion and are irrational, really.

i would be unsurprised if most people had negative thoughts about a group after an incident like yours, but are afraid to say so because they don't want to appear "racist", like you say. probably something to with our tribal origins.

Mostly African from Africa because the man who harassed me was actually African. I still get anxious hearing African American accents, but there isn't really any African Americans where I live.


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Kiprobalhato
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12 Nov 2015, 3:48 am

oh crud, i seem to've overlooked that you were canadian :oops:

so this guy was a stranger or someone you have met before? if the former, probably might not have any personal quarrel with you i think. that would really get under my skin, personally.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Nov 2015, 6:34 am

Sure there are Canadians who are of African heritage, yet who might have either a southern American sort of accent, a West Indian accent, or a Canadian accent.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

The best solution is to have positive interactions with African peoples.

I was prejudiced as a little kid because of all I heard about black people--but once I started hanging out with them, the prejudice disappeared.



GiantHockeyFan
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12 Nov 2015, 7:55 am

I was a bit biased myself growing up in a 99.9% white area and only when I moved to an area with a sizable African population I only ran into the gang members and street thugs. Things started to change when I noticed in school, even though they were the biggest troublemakers the black kids were about the only ones to never bully me and one even fought back on my behalf against an attacker.

I find it bizarre that people born and raised in Africa seem to instantly like me. No idea why, but I am not complaining!



dobyfm
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12 Nov 2015, 8:53 am

Just remind yourself not all are like that. That man who harassed you was probably crazy and crazy people exist in all races.



Neotenous Nordic
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12 Nov 2015, 10:32 am

Don't let marxist brainwashing suppress your natural survival instincts is all I will say on the subject.



Sweetleaf
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12 Nov 2015, 11:07 am

Neotenous Nordic wrote:
Don't let marxist brainwashing suppress your natural survival instincts is all I will say on the subject.


Oh...how very primitive of you.


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Adamantium
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12 Nov 2015, 12:04 pm

DevilKisses wrote:
On Monday I got harassed by a black man. Ever since that happened I feel anxious whenever I see black men or hear African sounding accents. I keep getting thoughts about black people being too primitive for me to deal with. I know those are racist thoughts. I don't want to turn into a racist person. How can I get past this?


Have you ever been harassed by someone who was not a black man?



Lukeda420
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12 Nov 2015, 12:17 pm

It's very natural to have thoughts pop into your head that you're uncomfortable with. The thing that really matters is how you react to those thoughts. You are definitely not alone with this.

If a racist thought pops into your head, just remind yourself that it isn't what you actually believe it's just an errant thought that only means something if you let it. So I guess what I'm saying is as long as you remain self aware of what's happening then you'll be fine and you won't become racist.

And since it seems these thought are coming from a recent experience, there's a good chance that these thoughts will fade away after awhile anyway.



Nambo
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12 Nov 2015, 1:26 pm

Have a look at the following BBC documentary, Is Britain Racist.
The Black presenter, when wired up to some machine, was surprised to find that even though she is Black herself, she still presents anxiety when shown images of Black men compared to White men.
I expect your anxiety is a natural protection that is beyond your control, like people who get bitten by a dog become wary of them, so no need to feel guilty.
I also experience Black men at work being far nicer than White men so I try to remember these incidents to stop myself being swayed by the negative experiences.



Kiprobalhato
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12 Nov 2015, 1:34 pm

dobyfm wrote:
Just remind yourself not all are like that. That man who harassed you was probably crazy and crazy people exist in all races.

this.


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Moostar
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14 Nov 2015, 2:19 am

I'm very sorry to hear about your experience. Goes to show that there are some truly crazy folks out there. As a fellow black aspie and member of the site , I hope that you don't assume ALL Africans as being life threating. Because in life, No matter what race, you'll find all sorts of weird people.



underwater
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14 Nov 2015, 2:39 am

Be a bit forgiving of yourself - this is a natural response to a scary incident. We are not rational when we are scared. Give yourself some time to get over it. Once it's not all about feelings, you may be able to think about it in a logical way.

It helps to know people from different places, it gives you some positive experiences to contrast the negative ones.



DevilKisses
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14 Nov 2015, 3:16 am

Moostar wrote:
I'm very sorry to hear about your experience. Goes to show that there are some truly crazy folks out there. As a fellow black aspie and member of the site , I hope that you don't assume ALL Africans as being life threating. Because in life, No matter what race, you'll find all sorts of weird people.

I don't assume all African people are like that. I think it had more to with him not being familiar with Canadian culture. I've had similar problems with Russian people and I got bad thoughts about them for a while as well. But they didn't make me feel as racist because Russians are mostly white. Eventually I got over it.


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