Sick of people telling me there is nothing wrong with me

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Because there obviously is. I know they're trying to cheer me up. But I'm such there have been some men interested in me over the years and i've put them off by my lack of openness and bad social skills. My inability to behave like they expect.

I'm cautious and I probably seem cold and uninterested in them when really inside everything is different.

They probably never even knew I liked them and would be surprised that I'd cried over them.

I'm trapped inside a glass box I can't get out if.

There is nothing wrong with you. You've made some mistakes, like everyone does, and you met some people who aren't right for you, like everyone does. Wanting others to confirm something is wrong with you will only perpetuate the issues you're experiencing.

Nope, I'm doing something wrong

The thing is though I can look at other single people and I can see what they're doing wrong. Like the one who can't do small talk and makes everything into a dad joke. That's annoying for all people let alone guys she's interested in. The one who talks too loudly and makes silly voices when telling a story. Annoying for all people, not just potential boyfriends. The overly pedantic speaker that grates on you. Grates on all people not just men. The frumpy one. Even I don't think frumpy is appealing and I'm not a bloke.

What's my turn off.

^ You're not ok with you and it shows??

I'm guessing here.
I suspect that's what was wrong with me for many years.
When I stopped caring what everyone thought and accepted that I was ok, I seemed to start miraculously attracting people.
In fact, it's become a little scary.
Who knew?

Either that, or it was the probiotics.

I think what I'm trying to say is there's nothing wrong with you except for thinking there's something wrong with you when there isn't.
So by that definition, I'm not actually sure if I'm saying there's anything wrong with you or not.
And on that note, I think I've definitely had enough wine for one night.

Yes, Raleigh gives great advice.

Also, you're equating doing something wrong with having something wrong with you. We all do things that are wrong at times, but it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with us.

You guys are really something, you know? A girl says she's tired of people telling her that there's nothing wrong with her, and what do you do? You tell her there's nothing wrong with her!

Are you guys mental-health professionals? Are you qualified to make a diagnosis for someone you've never met? Do you tell people with clinical depression to "cheer up"?

...

@Hurtloam: Who have you gone to for counseling on this? I don't mean full-blown sessions with a psychiatrist; I mean people who know you and are sympathetic toward you. If those people are unhelpful, then maybe you could step it up a notch and seek out a member of the clergy or a teacher.

I know what it's like to be told that my feelings are invalid. I also know a lot of people who would tell me that things are the opposite of the the way they really are ... "Oh, you're not having a heart attack" nearly got me killed, for example.

Why do people do this? I wish I knew. Maybe they think they're helping, but they're really not helpful at all!

I've read many of your posts, and it seems that you feel anxious about many things. I wish I could help, but I'm not qualified.

I'm actually not very good at telling people how I really feel when I have someone to talk to like that. I think my mood is elevated by the fact that I'm actually getting to talk to someone and I feel a bit more cheerful anyway.

I do have a few people I can talk to, but I don't like to tell anyone how i feel about my love life, I feel too embarrassed. I don't know why. I talk to my best friend who is very realistic, she's positive, but never overly sugar coats anything.

No problem Raleigh. I value your input. Ford's advice to forum users is always to seek professional help, don't take it personally.

I suffer from depression so you may be right about me only thinking something is wrong with me. Depression skews the minds perception of things.

As highlama says, it's possible I mean there's something wrong with my actions rather than something inherently wrong with me.

But, I do think that I must be doing something wrong. I am a very blank canvas and I think people in general think that I don't like them when I actually do. It's worse with guys because they possibly have liked me but I haven't responded like they expected me to and think I'm aloof and stand offish or cold.

I don't know how else to be. I always feel like I don't want to show all my cards because the man probably doesn't like me anyway. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

I just feel like I've messed something up recently and don't know if he did like me or not, but we've kind of drifted apart now and if he hears I'm complaining to friends about being lonely and feeling like I can't find anyone, I think he will think I've rejected him or overlooked him as a potential boyfriend.

My psychologist told me that because humans have a brain made for problem solving, being unable to solve a problem (such as being unable to find a partner) will lead to mental exhaustion and depression, because you're constantly trying to fix a problem with no apparent resolution, or it has too many variables, so your mind will keep struggling to find an answer until it basically self-destructs.

The easiest way to "fix" the problem (in your own mind) is to think something must be wrong with you. This logically solves the problem, but of course it is a very unhealthy solution.

What's wrong with you is that you think there is something wrong with you.

I wish we could go bowling!