I don't fit in ANYWHERE

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It seems that fitting in comes naturally for most people. I don't think I am one of them. My in-laws visiting today reminded me of how little I have in common with them, and how my husband (who has autism) is more social than I am. Whenever my husband says something, everyone looks at him in awe, but whenever I say something, everyone looks at me like I am a f***ing mass shooter.

It also seems that I don't fit in here, either. I am obviously the dumbest member here, because whatever I say here often gets corrected. I didn't know the Balloon Boy hoax was in fact, a hoax back then, that the Barenaked Ladies always had a weird sense of humor in songs, that Einstein had never mentioned anything about bees dying, or even that standing up to other users here have consequences. I also forgot that there are some websites have pop-up ads, telling me off won't change anything. It seems that whenever I try to say something here, it gets thrown back in my direction. That being said, it almost feel like everyone here is lying about their having autism, because they seem to have NT mannerisms in their posts. It didn't help that some of my interests differ from other people's.

All I want is to be f***ing normal, but all hopes of that is dashed due to being an autistic derphead and my father being a f***ing a**hole to my mom and beating the living s*** out of her just for shiggles. I am surprised that his alcoholism hasn't killed him yet. The day he dies is a day that I throw a massive party, because I hate him that much. I hate him for raising me the way that he did. That was why I vented in the Rants thread the way I did, and that is why I want to kill myself sometimes. I was a nicer person 2 years ago, I want to be that person again, and I wished I never d**ked around with my medication, but one could only be so normal before being judged constantly. FML

It's normal that you fit in nowhere, NTs are everywhere. It does not mean you are a bad person, you just fell on the wrong planet

If your autistic husband can fit in, you are lucky, you have the opportunity to just look and understand how he manages on a daily basis.

I personally like to be corrected on this forum, a forum is there to share ideas, progress isn't it? (without the real life negative impact)

Not everyone has autism on this forum, but if you recognize NTs, then you may learn to know them. NTs often hide their objectives. To my opinion, it is important to determine someone's objectives to understand well a person.

<--- Fits in at WP. At a conservative Christian fundraiser? Not so much.

What are NT mannerisms?

What I meant by that was how one communicates, or how much of an extrovert they act (e.g. maintaining longer conversations and being on the "giving" end of said conversations)

I forgot to mention that I have this problem with other Aspies around me as well. Take 2 years ago, for instance. We were all playing SSB Melee on a friend's Game Cube. So far, I was the only one who still haven't won a match. To add insult to injury, when one peer said they like the Bubsy video games, I flat-out told them that it sucked. Although he agreed that Bubsy 3D was bad, he maintained that the rest of the series was good, which I didn't believe.

I never got together with these jerks again.

We're all hear because to some degree we don't fit in, either. I'm very fortunate that my happy place is a beautiful beach full of all the best kinds of misfits who fit in together in their misfit ways.

Others aren't lying about their ASD. We simply have a range of IQ's and functioning levels, but that doesn't mean that we don't have ASD related struggles in our lives. They're just different for each of us.

Sometimes I wish I could be normal, and others I think f**k That Noise, as even though there are things I hate about my own AS, I definitely have some unique gifts because of it & without them I wouldn't be who I am, achieved some of the things I have, nor be able to pursue my future ambitions.

You're ~35 years younger than my mother, but some of your struggles & life difficulties are eerily similar. My grandfather was, apparently, the same brand of as*hole as your father is and because of that, if I lived nearby, I would attend your party and celebrate moving forward with life without him when the time comes. As morbid as some people might think that concept is, I think it's a beautiful form of closure to a dark chapter in your life and I do indeed hope you throw that party and make it one fantastic day & night to remember as the first day of the rest of your life on this Earth without his abusive presence.

I know what you mean. I don't really fit in anywhere either. It's very frustrating at times.

I don't fit in anywhere, either.

There are times when I fit in "somewhat." That's as far as it goes with me.

Sometimes I wish you all could come spend a day at the beach I hang out at. It is so full of weird people no one really notices anyone's particularly weird.. because so many people are. Not violent? No problem!

I wouldn't mind hanging out with you at the beach. We can listen to Queen's greatest hits and people watch

This post made my day, if only it was warmer out where I am at now. Luckily, it's supposed to be nice out on Friday.

I also don't fit in anywhere, but I always try my best to be happy.

I've never heard of the Balloon Boy, the Barenaked Ladies, or that Einstein was supposed to have said anything about bees, so I must be dimwit too. I had heard there are consequences, but I don't know when they kick in so I am cautious.

Hope you feel better about things soon.

It's pretty good people watching in the Summer when more than half the people there are naked.

I completely understand how you feel. 100%.

You're really resentful. You're mad and you feel hopeless. It seems like the only thing to do is to lean into the anger, and yet that makes you even more upset. So what can you do? You've already tried so much and it seems like nothing works. Are you just banging your head against the wall?

I was there JUST THIS MORNING.

Keep your chin up. We are in it together. Life has some really sh***y parts, but there is grace and serenity, too.

Go do something that just makes you happy.