I wish I was not as caring as I am...

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Like, almost no one cares about me and how I am doing after I had a shooting/break in at my f*****g apartment.

Some moron broke in with his sheer body strength and like...god.

And apparently I live in an apartment building with drug dealers and it’s supposed to be an apartment building for vulnerable adults.

It’s almost like everyone sensed I was vulnerable after this too and I got way too many messages from creeps. And my stupid ass told them s**t I should not have.....about my crush.

Like I just hate myself now.

I have no money to f*****g move, I have PTSD that is too f*****g intense to work, and I am basically being ruined by staying in this apartment.

And the morons who did this shooting are still here. Because Minnesota won’t f*****g evict them because of COVID. Oh, and they also harassed me constantly this year. I feel dirty. Like I don’t buy from them and I basically just want to be left alone.

I basically just want to be safe. But no, I can’t have that.

I hate my life now.

(please, unless have dealt with something like this don’t push advice)

Oh dear.
Here at almost 3 am I'm not exactly with it enough to offer much besides concern even though my life experience does include an apartment break-in in 1990s while I was home from work sick and actually taking a bath when the break in happened; and, here in November 2020 a apartment neighbor threatened to shoot me, and likewise is still here.

It’s terrible stuff you’re going through...no question!

And those Minnesota winters!

No advice...except to use WP as sort of a sounding board.

Do you have a good relationship with a social worker?

I’ve been mugged a few times and got stabbed once. Right after getting stabbed, I had to sleep on the floor of a new apartment with no lock.

Not as bad as you...true.

I think I hear the sounds of the creep upstairs moving.

He does have a lot of social worker involvement after the shooting and they definitely found somethings up there bc he has basically 24/7 care.

I won't let my guard down until these people are out tho or until I leave. And even after that.

I do have a good security system and cameras. My apartment is a smart apartment. Everything that happens I can see from my phone.

I had to use my student loans on this but whatever. It makes me feel better. But I do have anxiety over this.

What are you majoring in, if you don't mind me asking.....and if I did ask before and got an answer, please forgive me.

Om Nom hugs

Try to hang in there until you can find away to change your situation , am very sorry your going through these type of situations , I recognize them as a disable woman living alone and widowed , there is constant intimidation’s by the local gang, and the older woman whom hides these people from the cops . Cops come a no warrant , no search for the hoodlums hiding in her house . She has told me up front before I knew this older woman place with the hoodlums
Live just a few doors down the street . And I thought when she said , I don’t care what they do as long as they can make money . This meant to include burglary and property crimes . . I did not realize this initially , and she seemed so grandmotherly and pretended to need help . Unfortunately , I felt to confide in her and she passed all my private info to her , gang of methy looking people and derelict distant relatives . Whom would live in her backyards .
Climbing her fence that is broken down . And searches her neighbour s. Yards for anything that is not nailed down.
To take to sell at pawn shops and local scrap metal dealers or trade for alcohol and drugs .
This included witnessing a murder in this woman’s back yard 2 years ago . She has taught them and puts on this face like she is mentally ret*d and her people / relatives she protects from the police . No one takes walks in the neighbourhood here except the people from her backyard and their friends. . And am stuck in. My home cause cannot afford to move . Could write several pages on these issues . Sorry don’t have any advise already tried the police and free legal aide .

I don't really have any advice but I have PTSD due to a girl at my school getting shot during a lockdown, because a guy with a gun came in the school(not a student just some random person with some issues). I didn't see that part, I wasn't in that classroom but the lockdown was traumatic enough. Not the same as a break in but for certain I was not sure i'd make it out alive.

I guess I'd say try not to be too hard on yourself it sounds like its a very stressful situation and you haven't been able to get away from it its very understandable that makes it hard to function. I hope your social workers can help get you out of that place, it may be easier to heal from once your out of that environment.

PTSD really is unfair, as if the actual trauma of a thing is not bad enough...it is frustrating, but it's possible to manage just not sure it truly goes away entirely.