Volunteering: A new door or more disappointment?

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I went to my museum volunteer orientation today. The coordinator was nice and a pretty young lady wearing glasses also attended to become a volunteer as well. I hope she and I could become friends and maybe she will even become the cute glasses wearing girlfriend I’ve been looking for since I was 22. But is this really a new door for me or is more disappointment waiting for me?

This sounds like a really interesting volunteer opportunity, Mark!

It sounds like a great way of meeting new people, and helping out the community there at the same time. Hope you come to really enjoy it and that it gives your confidence the boost you deserve.

Just do the job, Marknis. Trust me. That’s the best approach.

Sir Kraftie and Lady Juliette are right!

Just be your own person and not give in to what detractors want you to do!

I am very happy for you Marknis, I am sure you will do a good job!

I completely agree,

More ideas for the young lady you want to befriend. I'd not immediately ask her out, I'd simply ask how her day was and stuff like that. Small talk the best you can kind of thing, I know that can be hard with Autism. Avoid physical compliments, that could come across creepy. Then after several weeks or months, maybe casually ask if she wants to get coffee and gauge response.

Disclaimer: I am not good with women. This might be bad advice.

Excellent advice, Dragnet.

If it does, I really need for it to happen soon because my mental health has really taken a turn for the worst.

Don't over-think it. Just enjoy the volunteering for what it is.

If you end up friends with the other volunteer, all well and good. If it leads to more than that in the long run, then great. But if you leap to big expectations too soon, it's just setting yourself up to feel failure if it doesn't go the way you want. Which it might not.

Personally I prefer to look at things like that as either gaining something, or staying the same. Either way it's no loss. So you could gain a friendship or even a relationship but if that doesn't happen you've not lost anything, since you didn't know them before now anyway.

Same with the volunteering. If it is fun and interesting then that's a win. If for some reason you decide maybe it isn't quite right for you, you've still had the experience, and there are other places you can try.

The biggest win of all is that you're out there getting involved in things, and gently pushing your comfort boundaries. That's really good.

How so?

I struggle to just get out of bed and take a shower, I feel more lonely than ever before, I can’t talk to others without a risk of them getting angry at me, I can’t find an ounce of enjoyment in anything, and my chances of getting into a relationship are practically zero.

Mark,

I wish you could talk to people in threads here.

Talk about your favorite groups in the Music section.

Try it. You might like it.

If you talk to people about things other than your problems, you stand a better chance of making friends.

I’ve tried but I’ve actually gotten reported for it. It really hurts me that I can’t even talk to others without the risk of getting banned.

Brother Marknis, you have said you enjoy writing and drawing.

Maybe consider displaying your artwork in the Arts forum.

If you do this, it could be a good starting point for you to improve your self esteem.

I guarantee you won’t get banned if you don’t talk about your problems.

Try just talking about your favorite singers and groups for a week. Don’t mention your problems.

People get upset when you tell them they hate you. Because it isn’t true, and they feel insulted by this.

^ This.

You should volunteer because you enjoy doing it and it feels rewarding.

As for meeting someone, you can't guarantee that the lady you'll like the look off, you'll like once you'll get to know, whether she's single, attached, married or even lesbian.

I think you should just give the volunteering a go and then see what happens

all the best