I can't stop thinking about this trivial incident.

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This is a while ago but for some strange reason I can't stop thinking about it. It keeps annoying me.

On 24th September I didn't have the correct change to catch the bus home (the buses require exact change an not to hold up trips) so I went to a Post Office to get some. I asked a woman at the till for some change and I got it. Because I went in there before (months ago) to do the same thing, the man at another till raised an argument with me.

He said, "You were the one who came in here last time for change, aren't you?" I obliged, and said that it was because the buses required exact change. He said, "Well that's your problem." I thought this was unnecessary as it was not my fault that the buses required exact change and he easily got worked up about it. I replied, "It's my problem? I've only been in here twice, and the last time was months ago (so how does it personally affect him?)."

This clerk replied, "Exactly. You only come in here when you get need to get change." But I only went in there twice so I don't see why it should personally affect him, and I was only making use of the facilities. He continued. "If everybody did it, we wouldn't have any change left." I don't care what would happen if everyone did it! It's hardly logical to come up with that conclusion just after one person (me) came in! "Don't come in here if you're not going to buy something." The bastard! I sighed and left.

I left the shop feeling unnerved and distraught. This is because the man could have just politely said, "Sorry, we don't do change". I felt upset because he didn't need to reply so unnecessarily, and I didn't do anything wrong! If I was stealing something from the shop or abusing staff, that would have been a decent reason for him to get angry. But asking for change? Rubbish! He was basically saying "Don't come to my shop." which is a great way to gain new customers (*cough* sarcasm *cough*). It's still upsetting me now, and I wish I replied with something like "You've just lost yourself a potential customer" or "That was a bit extreme - you didn't have to be so resentful".

How can I forget about this stupid event? I know that some people think that he's a w*ker, but that doesn't change the fact that he reacted very unnecessarily.

Last edited by deep-techno on 02 Jan 2008, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds like that man needs to post a sign!

You could have used humor, even sarcasm, in this disrespectful, highly stressful situation...like telling the guy politely, "Yes, I was in here a while ago for some change"...and obviously, I see you haven't changed at all in your attitude."

As rude and insensitive people can be in this world, learn to let things go. Remember...he is the one with a problem, not you.

That would have been a great idea but he didn't talk to me at all the last time I went to get change. Would have been nice though.

What makes this guy a real dick is that it was a post office...a government building, not a privately owned store or something. It in no way affects him.

You can't. Sometimes I wished too you could just erase bad memories.

What I do is play and replay the incident (whatever that is) over and over again in my mind. I deliberately go looking for it, even at times when it doesn't pop up in my mind automatically. The memory and the attached emotions then tend to wear off. It may also stop "obsessive" reoccurances of thinking about it. Hope it may help you.

Last edited by Transcendence on 01 Jan 2008, 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

he's a government employee
he's a union member
he can't be fired or disciplined except (almost) by an act of Congress
he gets paid regardless of what sort of service he gives
you can't affect him, change him, or complain about him (effectively)

that sort of thing can mess with anyone's head.

It was beyond rude, and you didn't do anything wrong. he was the one who went overboard. If he remembers you coming in for change months ago (did I read that right), he has problems of his own.

That being said, I hear that working at the Post Office can be extremely stressful, with the uniformed and suited people almost in a small war against each other. Still, if you weren't a monopoly (and even that's changing), you'd have to be nice to your customers, or you wouldn't have any.

None of these is likely to be true. He is in Swindon UK. It is probably a sub post office. If it is not you are might be correct about being a in a union and being a civil servant. Otherwise it is a franchise/quango business, which they could loose it if there was a complaint. Most sub post offices are in a shop as well. Whether or not the shop is a franchise too is up to them. You could complain to both the postal service and the shop franchise/voluntary chain if it exists. The reason why it is not likely to be a proper post office is they are not allowed to give change full stop, (and the queues are about a mile long). It is not a service they offer to anyone except those with a business account. Those tellers that do are breaking the rules and could be disciplined. Whether or not the union would offer them support is uncertain. There is more than one union associated with the postal service and royal mail. It is a sub post office it is entirely up to their discretion as to whether they give change, they just have to keep the books and do the paperwork properly for the post office service. They could rightly be annoyed if people are going into their shop and not using either the post office or buying anything and just asking for change.

Having said that my local sup post office they are the most rude, moody inconsiderate people I’ve ever met. I remember a woman with a small child almost in tears because of what one of them said. The whole family are like that. Forget it if you accidentally get the wrong paper and come back five minute later they will accuse you of reading it. They don’t seem to understand customer relations. I had to deal with them every week when I sold some things on ebay. The guy smokes in the post office booth and it stinks. It seeps out all over the shop. It is actually illegal to smoke in a place of work and also where the public is served now. It did cross my mind momentarily to contact Budgens and the Post office to inform them, but I figure he was not worth it. I would have only done it because the guy was such a knob, then it would be like he is getting to me when I can just go to another post office/shop.

deep-techno,
Have thought about applying for a free travel pass [which would mean removing this sort of problem]?
Different boroughs have different criteria for free passes,worth having a look on public transport authoritys' website to see if could get one or not.

I have thought about getting a buss pass but I don't use the buses excessively. I only use them when I have an after-school lesson.

I know that I will use the buses all the time next year when I'm in Year 12.

I'm sorry about that. Reminds me of an incident in which I got yelled at because I didn't buy a train ticket in the right place. Anyway, people that work in post offices are often not very polite...some are very nice, but many are rude, because it's a government job and they don't care about customer service. They have a monopoly and therefore don't care if they have your business. If you went into Nordstom to get change, I'm sure they wouldn't give you a problem.
What makes me feel better in situations like this is to tell myself, "they're not doing this to piss me off". People in positions with no power get frustrated, and they try to take it out on everyone else.

I never ask for change, I always buy something small.

This guy was just being an arse, don't worry about it. He apparently has very little going on in his life if he takes that kind of pleasure in accosting people who just need change for the bus.

If it's ever an issue again, go in there and buy a single stamp.

Actually, I rather wouldn't, as it's his loss that he lost out on a potential customer. He scared me off and I don't want to see his face again. It could be because I am only a teenager that he felt a sense to give himself extra authority.

I figured out a good way to reply if something like that happened again/if I redid the situation.

Clerk: "Don't come in here if you're not going to buy anything."
Me: "So you're essentially telling me not to come to your shop, which is a great way to attract customers. *cough* sarcasm *cough*"
Me: "It's because of your disrespect that I am not going to this shop again, even if I do need to buy something. Friendly customer service? I think not! Just show a little respect for your potential customers...that is, if you've not kicked them out as well."

I would have loved to say that, but then again, us Aspies are not built for social dilemmas like these. If he didn't shut up after that, I would interrupt and say "Right, that's it, I'm not happy with your customer service. You should expect a phone call from my father. I hope you're happy now."



Even if he did say "Don't come in here if you're not going to buy anything" to every customer, he'd lose out because how are you supposed to buy something without looking?

One of these days (not tonight, it's late), I'll tell you about an experience I had in the US with a postal clerk, when I was mailing a packet of papers to the UK, and this guy was convinced that I looked like a terrorist, (if you'd ever seen me, that in itself is laughable), but he was asking me all sorts of suspicious questions.....and after awhile, one of the other clerks said "Oh, for God sake, George. Just stamp the package. For the life of me, I don't see why they let you work with the public!"

I was a baaaad boy. I started laughing. But he was all ready to call the Feds over 10 sheets of paper.

Forget it. You won.

btdt

I've had to deal with people like that too, and I'm getting better at effective comebacks rather than passiveness (Celexa took that away) or aggressiveness (awareness of my surroundings is better with the antidepressants because I'm not so desperate for stimulation and looking inside my head for it, so I actually know the situation therefore know what to say). You'll soon be practised too; don't worry! And if not, you won't need to be, otherwise you need meds or counseling or something like me!

(My posts are wierd sometimes. )