10 (best I've felt in a long time)
I think my depression is finally turning around. Friday and yesterday I was so depressed that I couldn't even do my homework. Yesterday evening however as some of you may have read, I started seeing things differently and started feeling better. Today as I worked, ideas for my research paper just poured onto the keyboard and before I knew it the paper was done. I still have more ideas. Luckily the instructor is going to ask for another page or two. I'm getting my confidence back.
Also, there is something else that happened to me today. I admitted to myself my feelings for someone I care about, I truly love her. I've never met anyone that has as much in common with me. She makes me so happy, even when I'm down. Despite the way I feel about her, certain circumstances may keep us from becoming more than friends. I don't want to tell her how I feel because I don't know how she feels about me and I'm afraid that if she knows she won't have anything to do with me anymore. It's strange, if I had this realization yesterday while I was still depressed, I doubt I could ever have recovered from it. But now, despite all this, I'm happy just to have been able to meet her and talk to her, so much so that I'm smiling as I type this. I just want her in my life, even if it's only as friends.
Didn't mean to get all mushy on you guys but that is what I feel in my heart.
I'm a 6. My doctor is optimistic about getting me out of here.