Rants

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yeah my favorite topic!

i hope some of you remember that friend in wow i knew, the one i call black cause his rogue is blackicejc.

well i was talking to him and he hard the absolute nerve to tell me "i never thought of him as a friend". that is bull i think it was the other way around, let us recap all the stuff i did for him shall we.

1. made him titansteel even though it had an 24 hour cooldown, yes that's right i almost never got to make the stuff for myself so i had to buy all the blacksmithing stuff on auction house, my titansteel destroyer was bought i never made that mace. did i ever complain, no.

2. i ran dungeons for his alts, almost every classic dungeon, even though he made me a nervous wreak everytime, i didn't say anything when he would invite a whole party for me to watch over, i'm not a pro for gods sake.

3. when he needed something i would drop everything to go help him, even for stuff he really didn't need the help to do.

4. when he needed to rant i was always there to listen, always.

5. he asked for my cell number so i gave it.

6. he wanted me to get a webcam so i did.

7. he wanted me to faction change my nightelf hunter to horde so i did, dispite having a system set up that would break me if it were to be broken. i still have yet to recover, 35$ down the drain for him.

8. i quit wow countless times and he would come to me and ask for me to come back so i did.

9. he wanted to do the real id thing so i did.

i can't even remember the rest of things i did for him, all he did was got my warrior geared and provided companionship. he badgered me consantly trying to get me to do things i never wanted to do. only one thing benifited me in the end using the dungeon finder.

and he says i never considered him a friend, i did all that out of the goodness of my heart, if that's not what a friend does then i quit.

the only thing i ever said no on was sharing accounts.

I'm tired.

I'm weary.

One common trait for those of us with Asperger's is a strict adherence to routines. I like routines. I need routines. If there is going to be a change to my routine (where I work) it helps to know about it ahead of time (like a week). So...we are having a ninety minute interruption today at work which I have known about for a week. Ok...I can deal with it even though it will still cause me anxiety. But, I have just found out that another worker is not participating in this interruptive drill we are doing, and has dumped his share of his work on me. And he cleared it with our boss. So now, I not only have the change in routine which I knew about, but now I have his responsibilities too. I am currently feeling tremendous anxiety and wish I was home covered up under the sheets of my bed.

I am really, really paranoid.

I am worried I'll get a bad reference for my job. I worried everyone at my last job says nasty things behind my back because they've all realised by now that I'm an Aspie. I'm scared people think I won't last at my new job. I'm scared I'll come off as a useless Aspie at my new job. I'm scared I'll lose my new job. I'm scared I'll get worse to the point of listening to the same records all day, reading crap on wikipedia all day, put on massive weight, have hygiene fail and pace around stimming a lot.

I shouldn't do this to myself. I've screwed up enough times to know that it's part of life and I will deal with it, like I always have done. I might not even screw up. I have every intention of doing the most I can with my life. My intentions are very pure. This world is very complex and beautiful and I am alive. I don't care if I'm disabled; I'm going to try my best and hope for the best. I will ignore my paranoia.

Times wasters!! !! !!

I'm trying to sell my guitar, a guy contacts me asks for pictures of the very minimal scuff and ding on it. He contacted me saying didn't get the first set, for whatever reason, so I sent it again and now I'm not sure if he got them or not because he ain't got back to me. Why do people mess around like this? he did say he would send me a quote once he got them, but, he hasn't gggrrrrrhhh!!
I'm selling my guitar so I can fund getting a large telescope, all I can think of is buying a scope and I won't be happy till I have one. Has anyone else had experience with time wasters, you know the people who dither around instead of just getting on with it.

I glad I finally got religious problems out of my head, since I just started going to church.

Am I being hypersensitive, or are you just ignoring me? Because you seem to have this fine tuned knack of detaching from the internet EVERY time I send you an IM. Like literally right away. I click on that icon to open a message window and within one - motherfrakking - second I see 'X is offline'. That's fine. Just don't treat me as a yo yo, please. If you're gonna ignore me then ignore me, but don't start contacting me and talking filthier than the local sewer outlet and sending me pictures of your penis every time I finally get the message and leave you alone.

That's all. Thanks. Mech-girl.

I am tired of the ads just above the menu bar immediately above the WrongPlanet.net logo. When I move my cursor there, the drop-down ad often starts up. That's a cheap trick at causing the ads to engage. I also get tire of the annoying movements in some of those ads.

What really pisses me off is when people keep insisting I don't have a problem with what I'm saying I have a problem with, but something else, completely tangential and unrelated. THAT PISSES ME OFF!! !!

"Oh, you keeo saying you're mad that we were late, when everyone knows it's because you can't stand her little sister, THAT WHY YOU'RE MAD"

It makes me want to rip their eyes out! What a nerve telling me how I feel and why I feel that way, when I've told them numerous times that people who are late over 10minutes and more than 2 times in a row, piss me off to no end!

AURGHGHGHGHHGHHG!

</rant>

Feel a lot better now, thank you

THIS IS MY RANT-

FIRST, I absolutely loathe DIRTY DEALING COWARDLY JERKS (They're the same ones who are out there trying to act like they're really important, you know the one's.) who are DISHONEST and LIE to COVER their FILTHY UNDERHANDED BUTTS!

That must SUCK to KNOW deep down IN THEIR FOUL DECEPTIVE SOULS that THEIR LIFE IS NOTHING BUT AN UGLY WORTHLESS FACADE!

SECONDLY, I detest all the MISERABLE LOW-LIFES (evil cold hearted psychopaths) who WILL DELIBERATELY do CRUEL and HATEFUL things to HURT SOMEONE who has been KIND to them, just because they think THEY CAN and then this SCUM OF THE WORLD (and you know who you are) GOES around wearing THEIR FALSE-PUBLIC-FACES and PREACHING about how HURTING SOMEONE LIKE THAT, IS DISGUSTING AND DEPLORABLE and how THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO DO THINGS LIKE THAT TO GOOD PEOPLE!

I wonder HOW IT FEELS to KNOW that the MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION would find YOU REPLUSIVE and WOULD QUICKLY REJECT and SHUN YOU, if they REALLY KNEW the type of MONSTER YOU REALLY ARE!?! That must DO A NUMBER on YOUR SELF-ESTEEM!

THIRDLY, I despise WEAK MINDED IDIOTS (omgs, they're everywhere) who JUMP ON any OLD CRAPPY BANDWAGON that comes along just because they SEE who they THINK are the "POPULAR PEOPLE" DOING IT!

HEY... LOOK AT ME, EVERYONE! I'M JUST LIKE THE POPULAR PEOPLE, AS LONG AS I DON'T USE MY BRAIN, DON'T THINK FOR MYSELF AND DON'T EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND IDEAS, I CAN BE ONE OF THEM, THIS IS WONDERFUL!

To be continued...

if you guys have firefox, download Adblock and Flashblock. These programs are great, with adblock you can just right click the ad, select the adblocking option and then you can block it.

Flashblock is great too as it automatically blocks flash programs from starting. It puts a cover over it and if you want to play the flash ad or video you click it and the cover is removed.

why do i feel like everything is my fault? (note i've written a rhetorical question as this is posted in rants where no one is likely to read it nor respond .. note to those not reading nor responding.)

(rant to self)

and if this post was a cartoon i would be a peanuts character, either schroeder or pigpen with a cloud of dust and a word balloon containing misc. swear word characters like *#@! ! .. and some scribbles coming out of my head, and with furrowed eyebrows. (is that the right word? wrinkly, smushed like)


but no actual words

What I posted in my private journal on babycenter. I might make it public later but for now I kept it private from the public to see.





They are so immature and act like school yard bullies. I have been thinking about leaving this place, deleting all my photos from here and leaving because I don't want to contribute here nor have my photos be up in my profile. Maybe delete my milestones too and journals when I do leave. I would only use babycenter for source of information. That's what I used this place for last year when I was pregnant and again this year when I first found out. Then I decided to join the community here and liked it so much better than Yahoo Answers.

The Debate Team is the worse. Oh boy when you post a question or ask for opinions, people take your OP out of context and accuse you of being judgmental and they act all defensive and hostile in their response and act all snarky. Then today I see someone posting a thread about someone stalking her and and spreading rumors about her and she got a lot of insensitive replies. Even one of the mods there is allowing that crap. And one of the rules in that group is you must have a thick skin but lot of people break it because they get all butthurt and do attacks and falsely accuse you of being judgmental so they get all hostile and snarky with their responses.

I told one of my friends about this place and how mean people are and he had been lurking here and saw I was right.

I used to think this place was better and good and a safe place to get support and ask questions but I found out it is not a safe place.

And some people have such high standards. I don't think I am required to keep on reading a thread if all I am getting is mean responses. I don't need that crap so I would rather walk away from it and deleting my OP and moving on and people just keeping on posting in it really shows me they like it and don't want to move on. if they are so upset what the person wrote, I find it very hypocritical when they have issues with the OP deleting their OP. I mean do they like getting insulted just so they attack? Why don't they just move on when the OP has been deleted. It's obvious the OP has moved on and even if they apologized for asking such a thing, people still don't move on.

I have also thought about making two groups. One for people on the autism spectrum so we all have a safe place to talk and ask questions without worrying about getting attacked by people just because they didn't take what we wrote word for word. And the other group or where anyone can join to ask questions and discuss things without getting slammed because people are too darn sensitive and they can't read word for word so instead they read in between what isn't even there and they take it out of context. Those type of people won't be allowed in that group and it be set to private. It would help keep out trolls so people don't just deliberately make a post they full well know is offensive and that would piss people off because they know people aren't allowed to get pissed off and attack. You be surprised how mean people can be when they see such rules. I have seen people do s**t like that on another forum. I go to a forum where people are quick to call out BS when there is no proof the OP is lying. So I don't go to that forum much because of too many as*holes. But someone created a thread where you won't be allowed to call out BS and it was supposed to be a safe place for people to write about their lives without being called a liar but instead it got slammed with trolls. People came to that thread and just started to flat out make up stories knowing they won't get called BS on it.

There is already such group here for moms on the spectrum but I joined and I never got approved. Maybe the owner doesn't come here anymore so she doesn't know she got a new user request to join. Plus the group only has 69 members and it was created two years ago. So I thought about making my own group. I might set it to private too to also keep out trolls and I will make sure I keep coming here for those groups.

I have noticed a huge pattern here and between autism forums. people here are more irrational and they attack and ignore what is being said but on the autism forums, we act more rational and we rather educate than attack and get all defensive. Only time autistic people act that way people do here is if it comes to curbies and parents acting like it's the end of the world just because their kid had been diagnosed or when parents are suffering because of their child.

I don't get all bent out of shape here and I don't find myself getting all offended and if I do see something offensive, I would rather educate than attack. I think that is the right thing to do when you come across ignorance. Everyone is ignorant because we don't know everything so I don't think it's right to slam people for it.

Heck I saw a ignorant question being asked on Asperger's at yahoo Answers and the question was why are aspies so self centered and don't even realize they are an embarrassment to society when all they do is act like ret*ds. (I don't remember the exact wording)

I was sure it was either a ignorant person or a troll but aspies who answered it were all rational and didn't get all bent out of shape. Instead they explained the condition and why they may come off as self centered and "ret*d" and I wanted to answer it too but didn't feel like it at the time. Instead other aspies pretty much summed it up. Even though they said they took offense to it they were still able to answer it rationally without getting all bent out of shape. They were civil and none snarky nor defensive with their answers. But then the question was deleted. I wasn't surprised. I figured it be because people always report stuff when they feel insulted. Even if the question was genuine.

Why can't people be this mature? Why can't they just educate? Why can't they be rational despite feeling offended or insulted? I don't get people and their emotions. Maybe it's because I am too logical and I am not as attached to my feelings. Maybe it's my Asperger's that makes me be this kind of person. I think anyone is capable of acting this way if they work at it but they think they are entitled to be mean just because they were offended and the OP meant no harm by it and all she did was ask a simple question. And what I find funny is when people say sorry if they are being ignorant or hope what they are posting doesn't offend anyone, people are much nicer, same as saying if they are asking a stupid question. But I know that tactic doesn't always work. People still get offended and attack even though the question was genuine.

I do not see how being mean to people about their ignorance is going to help them. People say "do some research" but reading about stuff doesn't always answer your questions and I prefer to hear personal stories or hear from other people about their experience because that is how I really learn. If people don't want to share that about themselves, they aren't obligated to respond to that thread. It's just voluntarily to reply to it if you want to tell the person about your life so they learn and understand. That's how I see it as when it comes to posting on forums or in groups. When I see people ask about a miscarriage and if I don't want to tell about the time when I had one and how I went through it, I just don't respond but I don't go "MYOB." It's not like they sent me a note asking me about my miscarriage nor them walking up to me in real life and asking it. Even if I was asked that to my face, I would still be polite and say I don't feel like discussing it because I'm tired of telling about it.

I also understand it can be pregnancy hormones that make people act this way but guess what? I am pregnant and I don't get this way. Yeah I still got my mood swings and was more sensitive but I didn't act like those other ladies. Like I say, maybe it's my AS that doesn't make me act that way. I have seen at least two other ladies on the spectrum say on another forum they weren't real emotional either during their pregnancies. Coincidence? I wonder if pregnancies really do effect women differently on the spectrum like are they not as emotional like other pregnant women, are they hyposensitive to their baby's kicks or to other pain. My baby's kicks don't even hurt me despite feeling them down at my bladder or pelvis area and hips. I don't even know if none autistic women have their babies kicking them and they say it never hurt them. At first I just figured it was because I was not that far along and the baby was still too small so just wait. But then I join the January 2011 Birth Club and I see women saying their baby kicking them is hurting them and it keeps them up and distracts them. I can't relate to that because that is not how I feel. My son kicking in there doesn't hurt me nor keep me up or distract me. My due date is December 29th but my baby can come late you know.

I haven't asked my mother yet if any of my kicks hurt her or were uncomfortable and if my brother's kicks hurt too. I have been wanting to ask about pregnancy and autism but I have been too shy to ask because I don't know how people will take it. I can ask on the autism forum but I want to hear out of ladies who aren't on the spectrum. I know my lack of pregnancy symptoms has nothing to do with autism because my mom isn't on the spectrum and she hardly had symptoms too during her three pregnancies so maybe it's just genetic. But the feeling of the baby kicks or the feeling of the back pains, I doubt it.

Yeah I am probably being sensitive now but no one likes to be slammed or bullied or have their posts get taken out of context. I think everyone has some sensitivity in them but I am not as sensitive as other people. I don't get offended easily or insulted as much. I careless what comments I get about my pregnancy. I careless what I see posted online. I feel nothing. Only thing I don't like is seeing how other people get treated. I also tend to avoid replying to someone if they got all bent out of shape what I said and even after I had apologized to them, they still are upset and won't move on and are still onto me. Same as if I explained to them what my intentions were. And some people on the spectrum are more sensitive than me and they also do take posts out of context and read in between that wasn't even there and you would think they are literal and wouldn't do that but wrong. I have gotten it from my own kind. I was in a recent drama with another aspie on another forum but thank god that got sorted out. Now he has started a new call out thread on two aspies who butted in our drama.

Well I have rambled off topic now and will stop here.