Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselling Thread

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I'm finally getting off of a prescription drug that I was on for years. I feel free. It was far more trouble than it was worth. Unfortunately, it's one of those ones that comes with withdrawal, and the doctors can't do anything to help. I'm just hoping I make it through this time and don't give up and go back on it as I have done before.

The most aggravating thing about quitting your substance of choice is that it is both your addiction and your coping mechanism. So just as you undertake a difficult project - recovery - you are forced to abandon your primary coping mechanism for tough times, in just such a tough time.
MissConstrue, you're up against a big demon. You should never be embarassed to lose a round when wrestling with this dude. I lost plenty of them. I just kept fighting and now I've held him off for over eleven years. I was lucky, I was a high-bottom drunk and late in the game I started getting a headache instead of a buzz from drinking. I wish I could loan you some of that luck.
Don't waste any energy on embarassment or shame, that stuff is all self-manufactured. Go right to any support people you have and talk, including here. All of us who know the deal are behind you 100%.

My dad's a dry drunk. Sometimes he can be really jittery and irritable. A lot of people have it WAY worse when it comes to parental addiction, but I, being as conscientious as I am, feel so sorry for him sometimes.

my father IS an alcoholic, but I don't speak to him anymore. I wanted him out of my life because he is a violent one, and me and my mum had enough. ^^
I have abused substances, mainly cannabis, I've only ever tried one other drug (base cocaine, I didn't like it - thank god) But live in fear of turning out like my father. I'm a teen, and in my country teens drinking is normal, and I can never turn one down. What is wrong with me? lol
I'm not really an addict on cannabis, been clean for quite a while now, but My drinking is still quite regular...
(((((((HUGS)))))))) to all the addicts in here going through a hard time.
^^

yey I'm clean ^^
I couldn't walk into an alcoholics anyomous meeting but. meh i did it myself ^^
and i killed this thread
yey...

I havent had a drink since July. I havent gotten blackout drunk since January, lately, as of a week ago, apparently, I am more relaxed at work the next day after getting drunk. I DONT want to go back to drinking like I did last year at this time and for the last 10 years. I thought at the start of this year was gonna be a HUGE year of change for me, yet now, I feel like I am going back to the person who I was two years ago( I don't want to be that person again). I am scared of myself

Been having dreams about drinking again the kind where it use to be fun before it got me into so much trouble.

I keep wanting to go out there to the gas station that just a walking distance from here and getting me a quart. But I don't want to go back into that. It seems everytimes I would relapse I'd get into more crap again.

*sigh*

Why isn't there a fast way out of this through a drug or chemical without it becoming addictive or causing problems?

My health insurance ran out 2 months ago,I'm currently applying for Medicaid but it's a long process.Because I can't afford my prescriptions I've been suffering from some pretty serious depression,mood swings,panic attacks and all that fun stuff.

So to deal with my..."Situation" I've been self medicating with whatever I can find;

Nicotine
Alcohol
Food
Caffeine
Marijuana*
Hash*
Oxycontin*
Morphine*
Diazepam*

* Indicates those that were obtained illegally

In fact,as I type this I just insufflated 20mg of Morphine sulfate IR.

I think my next course of action (once I get healthcare coverage) is to attempt to get myself into the Nevada state Medical Marijuana program.It's the only thing that I've ever been on that relieved all of my problems with no discernable side affects.

The problems I'm talking about are;

Depression
Chronic back pain
Tremors
Anxiety (social and otherwise)

It also helps with Aspergers' related problems including help me feel more compassionate and sympathetic towards others or as my brother says,it make me less "Assholish".

Thoughts,opinions,suggestions?

Obviously I know that the drugs I am currently taking are potentially dangerous and/or addictive and I don't plan to continue self administration of them indefinitely but as it stands,with my current level of depression the alternative therapy would be a bullet to the brain.

I'm gettin on this week, am I bad. I cant even think shouldnt because I cant handle it.
Nah, me not I am changing my mind. Sshh! I am like so brave to put that. I am very secretive.

and no I cant handle drugs. I will admitt I have hit up a few times this year of cocaine and speed. Like only twice, i think and I wont again cause it is so expensive, its not worth it and unless I want sell myself to keep up the habit, nah I dont think so.
I try and be healthy. I eat only healthy foods and naturally i am high energy person except the antipsychotics they have prescibed are really doping me out so I am not taking them anymore.

Trying not to become or dont wanna be an alchoholic. I am drinking Jack Daniels tonight but havnt drunk anything for over a week.

Thinking to go to AA cause know or been told I have problems with impulse control and with an slightly high or abnormal liver count. I still dont think that is going to stop me.

Man why! Why cant I have anything. Life is so boring otherwise.
If it makes you feel good, it should be good for you.
Like only the good die young. I dont wanna be an alchoholic or a drug addict but i wouldnt mind being dead in my forties. I dont wanna get old. I got nothing to look forward to. I have PTSD and BD not feelin sorry for myself At All. I am just saying with PTSD it brings the hell of past to present and it never goes away. I am no, I dont want to be no slave to BS like that!

and I am still drinking JD and I got some kahula. Why i got cause I am kind of feeling sick. Its just i dont wanna run out. Jess visited and i said i dont it is kind of strong. What can i drink? and she said get beer "but I dont like beer, it makes me feel really full and it doesnt have much alchohol content' and
I dont like it and then she said get OP Bundi 6 pack and i said "no cause it has fizzy coke with heaps of sugar" and then i am thinking well kahula is pretty sweet so I am not getting that anymore either. I will go back to drinking barcadi and tonic, it kind of taste like metho or what i would imagine but i dont mind something taste like medicine.

I said to her, "I am going to go to AA and she said "I dont or never did" "Well I am going" I said.

I have tried to stop myself but it just hasnt happened and i said with a bit of support, i will be able to cause i dont have that bad of drinking problem"

Im keeping sugar out of my diet cause i am sick of my teeth being pulled. Its hurts. No it doesnt really hurt. I pretend i am cool but really i panic. They should put me under if they are garna do that in future because it makes me feel sick and dentist are abusing me or my mouth That is what it feels like. I cant stand it.

Blame brain chemistry, and emotive circuitry. We're programmed to do things over and over that make us happy. We keep chasing that thrill until we ruin ourselves.

WHY IS HE DOING THIS?

Why is he doing this?
Why is he bad?
Where is the justice?
Where is his head?

Up in the clouds
too blind to see
he has a loving family
just wanting to see.

Where is his smile?
lost in his head
blurred with the drugs
they've gone to his head.

Smiles are gone
replaced with anger
waiting eagerly
for his next hit.

Why does he do this?
What have we done?
Lost this great man
to this destroying drug

Please come back to us
show us your love.
Bring back your smiles
and show your true self
for we are innocent and want your love.

Suellen

Why is he doing this? That poem is sad.

I have a substance abuse problem and have done for many years My drug of choice is not highly addictive. I think it is more the psychological dependency and it has really got me. Ive realised it has been near a decade that I have been using. From memory not a single year has past that I havnt. I have only just been thinking of this. It seems hard to believe.

I don't believe I am pushing any-one away people that I love or should care about. If I am not keeping in contact with my friends of which I am really not good at doing. There is no-one around except my daughter. She is all I have and I am all she has.

I believe I keep my drug problems, if you could call it that, under control and most of the time I am a functional person. With out anything - I really don't think I would be. So what is the problem. Then I listened to this song - It meant something. I played it over a couple of times and realised I have alot of sadness and anger Maybe this is why I abuse substances and continuosly. However, other people carry around with them strong emotions. All I know is that I cant stop - I don't think I would cope. All sadness and pain in life would just drown me out. I feel like I am just surviving. I see people as being dysfunctional who carry with them persistent and negative feelings. However, I can not see what is dysfunctional about my using drugs and to me that is the only problem - I don't understand.

Of listening to a song I related - 'Easier to run' I seemed to understand more but still that's just feelings. I also need logic.
or maybe I am right - Maybe I don't have issues that are as bad enough that I need to be so serious. I do know I am confused and what in the world am I supposed to do - just exist.

that is sad

Thankyou and my whole family history had been nothing but revolved around this.

Am i responisble? Yes. But I don't know how to quite act "Normal". It gets frustrating but everytime I go into this site...sometimes I don't feel too alone or alone for that matter.

I wish there were enough of you guys in my area. I don't know, it's hard to lucidate the strengths and weaknesses. But does it matter?

Probably not.

Good luck you guys and I think compare to most forums you guys have been less hard on me or should I say some of you I could relate to