I really am a cripple, you know.

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...Aside from food and clothes, my spending of money during the motel period ~ When I was REALLY bloated ~ even included quite a few taxicab rides (call by phone-set, not NYC-style " Taxi! "-hailing)...not at all the majority of times, but when distance/how much I had to carry/night became a factor ~ and I tipped well, to be liked - and because, fat and handicapped as I am, getting into and out of the (generally a standard car) taxi was difficult, sometimes requiring a last, physical, push from the driver to get my second leg into the taxi fully y...as well as getting some help with unpacking.
However, and, please, let me EMPHASIZE this...the majority of my trips were via the Santa Cruz bus system!!
One time, when I went to one of those eye doctor appointments, I went by bus...and reached there so fatigued that the doctor said I was too tired to be examined, and sent me away without my appointment happening . After that, I took taxis there .
Obviously, the money for my brother WAS transferable to me, and is transferable to those sh***y cousins. I have never heard any indication that the NYS lawyer is not being paid/is doing it pro bono. If not him, his father?, in the same firm, had been my parents' lawyer. He has never told me much about the precise set-up of it. I only found out about the not-bequeathable-by-me nature of the funds when I asked him about it.
I know I'm repeating here, but I suppose I must. Putting this component up now, more later.















Oleson"]

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...mrspock sent me a SUPER-nasty PM, I reported it ~ He said nasty things about my mother and me being raped . I reported it.
Reading it makes me cry/tearful .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I have stuff to say about stuff that I left behind at the first of the two shelters, and may have to lose ~ including my perscription meds ~ just so I can reduce the backbreaking " carrying stuff around " - but more later, my time on this library computer is running out and with no phone ...The replacement SSDI access card MAY be at the HL mail drop tomorrow.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I understand that the money is transferable, I’ve just never heard of it working that way. I have a family member with a very disabled child and they have set up special funds for the childs care. As far as I know though, the funding ends when the child passes away, kind of like a pension. I used the word splurge because you had used it yourself several times. If you have to lighten your load, don’t leave your meds behind. They can’t be that bulky and your life depends upon them.

A-P, the problem is you are not capable of making good decisions for yourself. If you were, you would not be sleeping rough, going without meds, and always losing your things, as well as annoying people in a position to help you, such as the lawyer in NY state.

If you could accept that your brain is such that you need help and allies in taking care of yourself, you might stand a chance. But I think this has a snowball's chance in hell of ever happening. Even if you begin to enter into a helping alliance with an agency, you sabotage that by breaking rules and walking away. I'm sure part of this is from PTSD, a need to escape and an inability to trust. I'm sorry about that. But left to your own devices, you aren't doing very well.

Your perceptual bias is to readily get angry with people, organizations and rules and then to inaccurately attribute malevolent motives to them. I'm sure you will do the same with this post and me. I expect a blast of irrational and extreme vitriol. But I did feel compelled to explain to you that this issue of good decision-making is underlying all your problems in your declining years. Whether you can digest that information, I don't know.

The NY lawyer does not have unlimited time to humor your numerous written requests. He keeps telling you to have a social worker contact him, because it is impossible for him to work effectively with you.

You probably would have been better off staying at the board and care facility in Patterson, at least until you had some other stable housing arranged. You keep mentioning that you don't have time to explain why it didn't work out, other than they served bologna sandwiches for lunch! So what. At least you had a bed and a roof over your head. I doubt you can provide a good reason why you had to leave.

Good luck, and please reconsider your affinity for independence. No more self-pity, ok?

...For some more-than-one replying: I said this before, my pictures of Bruh's were with everything else of his, in several storage boxes (I found out their size). They are sealed, and not at the lawyer's, and even if I wanted to have only pictures ~ and I don't ~ I am ABSOLUTELY SURE that the lawyer, and not his secretary or legal clerks, etc, either, would
be willing to open up sealed, heavy, storage boxes and root through them. Nor the person from Bruh's group home who had/watched over them. I am sure that they would only send the full boxes, not go open them and look through them. The hospital SWs did contact him. It did not change his sitting 100 percent on the funds.
No, I'm not going to go through why Patterson was unacceptable now, with no phone and even less time to work on the computers to-day. Later. It is about MUCH, MUCH, more than the salty white bread baloney sandwiches! Those could have been, with more an ability to supplement the place's food, acceptable. The sandwiches were kind of a" a colorful detail ", and a coupla youse guyz seemed to be struck by that.
For financial better news, the replacement SSDI-cash-accessing replacement card came in. Weirdly, the limit on how much you can withdraw every day seems to have gone down considerably, maybe 30%, and to get the same amount I pictured taking out over 3 days, I'll have to do it for 5 days (reaching total that will be more than the old 3-day total). The contact at the agency specifically asked me to spend it out.
When I was in Patterson, I followed a contact to a possible room in Oakland, from a Facebook friend who knows I'm HL (I am pretty " happy-talk " on FB and closeted about HLness ~ we talked about it via PM). I mentioned it to the lawyer in letters. It didn't pan out, that was apparent even before I left Patterson, I told this to the lawyer, and pointed out that I would have asked for considerably more than the request for ca$h/dough I would have made had the Oakland place become a possibility ~ I had mentioned Oakland to the lawyer when it was a possibly, then, after it did not pan out, told of that, and asked for an amountof $ much, much, less than I would have asked for had Oakland been do-able. He did not say " No, I will not send any " although he did, in fact, do that. He hadn't said " Don't leave Patterson or I will cut you off ", either. Because " he didn't want to put it in writing ", being a lawyer. Hmmm, rather suspicious. Tat does not mean I think he did anything literally illegal/against regulations ~ but it is always a possibility, though I think, as I said, that that is not the most likely scenario.
Basically, to cut my load down to one mini-bag, I had to leave the bag with the pills in the shelter's storage ~ When I came in, I asked about whether I hadto retrieve the stuff I left in the the storage the next morning. The staffer said " No ~ but if you forget it in the morning ":-). I don't mean to leave it there forever. I want to give my back a chance to recover . When I have another place to take other stuff ~ Say, when I get the storage place situation, which may take a couple of days ~ I will go to that space and get them - I can't, obvioudly, really expect that to be doable twice. The hospital seemed to overlook, the last time I was there, that I need some sort of CHF-related pill, even " if " " just " a diaretic. It'll take time, with a curfew at the latest of getting back to the pickup bus at 5:45 PM.
Again, the lawyer has been contacted by the hospital SWs. He claims/indicates they said thing they could not have said about housing I refused over & over again and does nada! The Patterson bach was not a liscenced one, incidentally.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Since you're Canadian, AO ~ If I got one of those " _% of your SS do$h for your rent " places, it would be based on the SSDI, not the post-Bruh money. I planned it as " supplemental " too. Also, BTW, even if I won the Section 8 lottery, S8 vouchers are notoriously difficult to get a landlord to take in the the time before they expire, if they have not been used.
Maybe I'm repeating this ~ But, in things he's said, the NYS lawyer has criticized me for leaving Patterson ~ But, he did not say " Don't go! " when I wass still up there, and he did not say, when I finished, " I'll never send you anything from your funds if you leave Patterson! "! Why would he not say this inn writing, if that was not his desire?
So DW says I'm " a crazy fool " . Maybe he'll join mrspock next, and send me a PM joking about me being raped in Hell where my drunken mother screams abuse at me too!
BA, more or less anyway, wants me in a " loony bin ", as I put it, for what's left of the rest of my life .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

DrWho and MrSpock are the same person, and he has been shown the door.

Let me or another one of the mods know if he comes back.

...Thank you !






ek"]DrWho and MrSpock are the same person, and he has been shown the door.

Let me or another one of the mods know if he comes back.[/quote]

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I will point out that, bluntly, the hospital will touch me up some for lack of pill-taking. They won't do diddly for my torso pain . Buying this umpteenth phone, replacing the last one, stolen + other practical things,
), has eaten up time that would've gone for the long journey to the pain pills . Another day's delay .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!