(TW) Just a question (TW)

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Pepe
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25 Nov 2020, 4:18 pm

HighVamp913 wrote:
I was doing research and found this.


"Euphoric mania tricks us into thinking that we are ‘finally feeling great,’ when we are really not.



Euphoric hypomania often knocks on my door. I love it for about two hours and then realize it simply wants to make my life difficult and out of control, so I do all I can to get rid of it. Here are three examples of how I manage mania. I do take medications for my manic mood swings, but overall, I try to manage my mania through early detection and prevention.

The euphoric manic surge

Euphoric mania often releases a surge of super human energy that creates a feeling of invincibility. Even if you were unable to function due to depression the day before, this surge creates a positive belief in the world and your ability to get things done. You jump up and get started and no matter what you want to do, it’s done with extreme ease. If you have rapid cycling like I do, this can be extremely frustrating. I was depressed for most of my thirties and forties and I would get these surges of manic energy and start projects where I simply couldn’t maintain the energy to finish as my depression always came back. I call this the deflated balloon syndrome. My balloon that was normally under inflated and just flopping around trying to get the basics done would be filled with a huge amount of air and I would fly into the sky with a great burst of work ability. The problem is that it NEVER lasted.

My depression is much better than it used to be, but the mania surge still stalks me. I’m learning to use it to my advantage whenever possible. Instead of starting projects that simply won’t get finished, I’m working on talking myself into using the energy on a current project. This doesn’t always work, but I know myself and I WILL make it work eventually.

Recognizing these euphoric mania surges as something negative instead of the focusing on how good they make me feel is key.

Euphoric mania and hypersexuality:

I get scary hypersexual when the euphoric mania shows up. I feel like a stalker. In the past, I gave in to this and met any guy I wanted to meet simply because the mania took away my inhibitions and I went after what I wanted. I now control it a lot better. Many of you know that I chose to be celibate for a few years to finally get my manic sexual behavior under control. It’s the smartest thing I ever did. Here’s why. When I get in a certain euphoric episode where men look like candy that I have to eat I know trouble is on the way. As I wrote this paragraph, I was reminded of a time in Starbucks where the hypomania was there, but I was observing it and not giving in to it. I walked into the store and stood in line. There was a guy in front of me in shorts who had obviously been playing some kind of sport.

My mind fixated on his calves and I had the thought, “Would he be upset if I got on my hands and knees and gave those calves a nice licking?!”

Please know that I like guys, but this is not something I could even conjure up for a novel! The manic brain is simply one of a kind and must be controlled. Being celibate gave me the space I needed to observe my behavior and figure out what I thought about guys, instead of just going with what my manic brain told me to think about guys.

Mania and loud music.

My management plan is based off the concept that recognizing, memorizing and ultimately utilizing the earliest signs of a mood swing to get help is the key to successful bipolar disorder management. This is the plan I talk about in all of my books.

Mania has a very small treatment window and the more clues we have that it is starting, the easier it is to get help and stop it from going too far.

One clue I use is music. I lived with very severe depression for over 20 years and as I got older, music had too many depression memories attached to the songs and I finally stopped trying to listen to music as it made me so sad. One of the first signs of mania that I notice before I even think about being manic is my ability to listen to my iPod. I can turn it on and listen to my favorite bands from Joy Division and Jack White to the Artic Monkeys without thinking about how hard my life has been. I can turn on the radio in the car and not slip back into worrisome thoughts and musings. This always seems like something normal, but considering that I can hardly listen to the radio at all, suddenly being able to turn it on with ease is a sign I can’t ignore.  Eventually, I have the very obvious sign that I’m euphoric because I play music in the car very, very loud and usually bang my hands on the steering wheel.

My ability to listen to loud music increases 3-4x when I’m manic.

Noticing how I am around music helps me see where I am in terms of my mania so that I can get help before I have all the windows down while yelling to Metallica!

Euphoric mania tricks us into thinking that ‘finally feeling great!! ! !” is a positive. It’s not. It’s just the other side of the bipolar disorder coin. My goal is to get as good at managing mania as I am at managing depression. It’s a work in progress.

I wish you luck in managing mania as well!

Julie "





This is very similar for me 8O




I have to walk my kids before it gets too hot, so I will reply when I get back in about an hour's time.

I will copy and paste your research in this thread: viewtopic.php?f=35&t=392510&p=8660498#p8660145



Pepe
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25 Nov 2020, 6:27 pm

QuantumChemist wrote:
HighVamp913 wrote:
Why are you guys living? I mean what are you fighting for? What makes you want to take that one more step? Who makes you wanna take that one more breath? :( Cause honestly I'm running... out of reasons to stay.


I can only speak for myself. I live because I am a survivor. I went thru hell in my youth via bullying of all forms from my classmates for endless years. I was pushed far beyond my means multiple times. One of my goals is to simply outlive them, one by one. It is coming true as time gradually passes. I use my stored anger/rage towards them as my fuel when I am running low on life energy to get me thru the low points/depression. It is why I can do things that others cannot with my nearly endless supply of internal power. But, it also costs me time off of my lifeline in the process (as I have very high blood pressure/heart failure issues). The more I do with it, the shorter my life becomes, so I try to use it carefully and not waste it. That is just the cards I was dealt.


I'm the same.
I turn my anger into defiance and contempt for the toxic system we are forced to live in. 8)



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25 Nov 2020, 10:12 pm

I'm kinda neutral today. No ups or downs. I would kinda like panic every so often, but would be back on track in no more than an 5 minutes. I did have soda tho, srry. I played outside tho for 2 hours. Yes played. I know I'm 17, but it was fun. I like to play wrestle. Practice self-defense moves. I usually play this game were you try to step on the other persons foot. It requires alot of movement and jumping. It is fun tho :) I also played toss and catch with my sister. It was intense :) I also threw the tennis ball at her while she tried to dodge it. I usually got headshots XD She wasn't to happy, but got over it.

I have family coming over tomorrow. I'm kinda excited to see my cousin,but she told me she doesn't like gay people :cry:
We used to hang alot more :(


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26 Nov 2020, 1:25 am

HighVamp913 wrote:
I'm kinda neutral today. No ups or downs. I would kinda like panic every so often, but would be back on track in no more than an 5 minutes. I did have soda tho, srry. I played outside tho for 2 hours. Yes played. I know I'm 17, but it was fun. I like to play wrestle. Practice self-defense moves. I usually play this game were you try to step on the other persons foot. It requires alot of movement and jumping. It is fun tho :) I also played toss and catch with my sister. It was intense :) I also threw the tennis ball at her while she tried to dodge it. I usually got headshots XD She wasn't to happy, but got over it.


That sounds great. Exercise is extremely important in maintaining mental health.
*EVERYTHING* points to that.

Also, I would recommend, it if your parents can afford it, Karate/Ju-jitsu lessons for you, or something like that.
It is always good for women (and men) to learn self-defence.
Health and safety. :thumright:

HighVamp913 wrote:
I have family coming over tomorrow. I'm kinda excited to see my cousin,but she told me she doesn't like gay people :cry:
We used to hang alot more :(


Does she know you are gay?
Perhaps she will change her mind because you are cousins?



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26 Nov 2020, 3:32 am

Yea she knows :( I was talking about an ex. Welp. I guess I won't have the support of family,but that's okay :|

So, Pepe how was your day?


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26 Nov 2020, 3:57 am

HighVamp913 wrote:
Yea she knows :( I was talking about an ex. Welp. I guess I won't have the support of family,but that's okay :|

So, Pepe how was your day?


Could it be that it's just your dickhead cousin who has a problem, and those other family members don't?

My life is fine.
Pretty much the same, as per usual, which mean very good.
I focus on emotional stability, and now with the dietary changes plus regular exercises, I am on an even keel. 8)

What do you think?
Are you going to be the next "Karate Kid"? :mrgreen:



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26 Nov 2020, 4:17 am

No I doubt I will be the next karate kid. I just like to know if someone I care for gets hurt I can make the attacker pay :) Make em eat dirt. I am pretty good with my hands, since I fidget alot. I like to take the pole off the broom stick and use it as a staff. So fun. Until I made hole in wall XD Whoops!


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Pepe
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26 Nov 2020, 6:10 am

HighVamp913 wrote:
No I doubt I will be the next karate kid.


Remember, Tay-san: Wax on; wax off. :mrgreen:

HighVamp913 wrote:
I just like to know if someone I care for gets hurt I can make the attacker pay :) Make em eat dirt. I am pretty good with my hands, since I fidget alot. I like to take the pole off the broom stick and use it as a staff. So fun. Until I made hole in wall XD Whoops!


The wall probably deserved it. 8)



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26 Nov 2020, 9:48 am

Pepe, your a goofball. You really go by the phrase laughter is the best medicine :)


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26 Nov 2020, 3:53 pm

HighVamp913 wrote:
Pepe, your a goofball. You really go by the phrase laughter is the best medicine :)


Thank you.
Being a "goofball" is high praise, were I come from. 8)
I appreciate that.
You are a goofball too.

I give a salute to all the goofballs in the world. :salut:



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26 Nov 2020, 7:32 pm

How sweet of you :)


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26 Nov 2020, 8:39 pm

HighVamp913 wrote:
How sweet of you :)


:mrgreen:



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26 Nov 2020, 9:39 pm

I'm not going to be able to talk tonight, since I just got in trouble. Good thing is my cousin just needed space and accepts me now. :) Bad news I was being stupid and got caught doing things I shouldn't have :( Well hope everyon has a good night. You get the night off Pepe. Enjoy.


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Pepe
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26 Nov 2020, 9:51 pm

HighVamp913 wrote:
I'm not going to be able to talk tonight, since I just got in trouble.


I thought your middle name *was* trouble. 8O :mrgreen:

HighVamp913 wrote:
Good thing is my cousin just needed space and accepts me now. :)


That is so good to hear. Hoowa! :mrgreen:

HighVamp913 wrote:
Bad news I was being stupid and got caught doing things I shouldn't have :(


Everyone here says you have to tell us what the stupid things were, right guys?
<in the background> Yeah, too, right, we gotsta know. :mrgreen:


HighVamp913 wrote:
Well hope everyon has a good night. You get the night off Pepe. Enjoy.


I enjoy your mischief. It is very entertaining. :mrgreen:
You sound emotionally stable, btw.
Have a good night. ;)



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26 Nov 2020, 10:25 pm

Yes i am kinda stable. Yay. I wanted to try "water" so my sister went downstairs and snuck it up. :) (gotta love lil rebels). So we all passed it around and were drinking it. Then went downstairs and had eggnog with the others :). Afterward we went outside to play with fire. Not a good idea security came by and we just had pieces of flanking wood in our hands. XD Then the middle child snitched on all us. I took the blame :| It was my fault so might as well have. So now I am just in my room reading poetry on wattpad. :) Oh and before I forget Hi other 17 year old :)


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26 Nov 2020, 10:43 pm

-_- Of what? Cause I swear to (whatever you believe in or care for) I'm not in th mood for any more sh/t.


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