ways of coping with your depression and building self esteem

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I like to write all the things I'm feeling down, so then my energy is going into something that I feel good about.

Autumn Leaves
Isn't it marvelous?

How beautiful the world is

when you just take a moment and really look.

Beauty lies within the simple

and modest things in life.

Fall is one of my favorite seasons

of the year.

The time when the leaves create

a sort of natural rhythmic dance

as they fall one after the other

to the ground below.

What a treat for ones eyes

as you'd watch the leaves

chase one another in the wind,

something about the carefreeness

of it all relaxes me.

It helps me realize that life

doesn't always have to be so


overwhelming and complex.


Be happy and be you, life is wonderful.

This is probably going to sound silly but, one way for me to deal with internal demons that cause me un-happiness tends to be watching episodes of tv series that often remind of times that are less chaotic as well listening to music that gives me a sense of inspiration to keep pushing forward no matter how hard I've met adversity..There was a time when I would go for long distance walks but, such is not the case at the moment since I live in area where the university students drive crazy so, being a pedestrian is not safe at all..

One thing I found that was holding me back was that my own self-esteem had been starved during childhood.

A year ago, I took up the violin. My confidence has improved, and when someone tries to humiliate me, I can smile - even laugh - at them, because I know what I am capable of.

1. Learning to play the violin.

2. Learning to play the violin in my mid-fifties.

3. Learning to play the violin in my mid-fifties left-handed.

(I'm normally right-handed, but my left hand is no longer capable of fretting the strings, so I use it to work the bow instead.)

Try jerking off. At least it takes the edge off the pain.

I've been having self-esteem issues knowing that I haven't dated anyone since high school and need a girlfriend now more than ever. Only two years ago did that realization hit me, and now I feel like I'll never find anyone. (I've looked for help in the Love and Dating folder, but they only keep throwing the same NT advice everyone else tells me IRL.)

Those are good ideas for ways of dealing, but why am I the only Aspie without depression?
That makes me feel so alone. I know it sounds crazy to some people, but I wish I had depression just so I could
feel more included and not so alone in not having it.

Well, I've been through depression and have had confidence in myself and just about anything else battered to its core.

First of all, it's a very slow and often frustrating process. For me it was an invisible barrier - not in the usual AS sense of not being able to communicate - it was in the sense of not having the confidence to speak up and communicate properly with other people.
It's taken me 2 years and 3 months to get from rock bottom to my current point, and it has only been in the past two months where I've been able to come out of my shell more, both online (as shown by a marked rise in post count from March) and offline (being able to speak more confidently to strangers, and being less afraid of being alone in public).

The main thing for me, I'd say, was perseverance. It's easy to demand too much too quickly and end up in a worse situation than before. It demands patience, but its rewards are potentially great. Every single post I make here, and every word I say to non-family members, is a major achievement that not so long ago I'd have never envisioned. That was because I envisioned either death (suicide), or a life of endless misery.

One thing I'd say - With belief comes confidence, and with confidence comes positivity (or less depression), and with that comes results.

My experiences may not help many, but if it helps just one person, I would be more than satisfied.

Distraction in some shape or form is usually incredibly helpful when I'm feeling low, and becoming mentally absorbed by something beautiful is a particularly comforting form of distraction. Listening to music was a favourite form of this type of relaxation in the past, but these days I prefer to go out on country drives, just losing myself in the scenery...

Humour is another favourite tool. To take an example, this single clip lifted me straight out of a bout of misery and self-loathing today...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHOyiknNuUw[/youtube]

if I didn't have my music I'd be completely off the rocker.

Making it through depression was maddening. I've had it on and off for years-and until this year, nobody in my family bothered to do anything for me. Finally the school intervened and brought my parents in and now they're "in the process" of getting me help (hopefully soon). So meds weren't ever an option. My parents are also distant and stubborn, and my mom tends to get upset with me if I cry over the same things, and I have few friends. So in the end, I got myself through tough times by talking to people online. There's a little chat room in Freenode that is my life line. When I see my problems are nothing compared to other people's problems, I start to feel a bit grateful and soon snap out of my funk for a few days.

Contrary to Popular Belief: Depression is not a result of the presence of a neuro-transmitter. Depression has more to do with the absence of some very important psychological/emotional/spiritual/mental-elements. I will release a «key» for the necessary psychological/mental-reprogramming here in my response.

A Story of Twins Whose Paths Veered
Many are aware that twins often have identical-appearances and are also often inclined towards the same or similar tastes in things...such as clothes, food, musical-preferences, etc. I will tell you a story about a pair of twins who, for the most part, did and believed everything together. That is until one day, eventually, one veered into a path of misery and tearfulness, whilst the other one was seemingly unaffected by the same situations.

Let me repeat that... whilst the other one was seemingly unaffected by the same situations. What we are going to study and analyse here are the differences between what happened. They had similar back-grounds, similar up-bringings, similar educations, but what was the difference after that one fateful day ?

I will explain what the primary difference was that affected their emotions. The primary and major (I was almost about to say only difference but decided to leave more room for other influencing factors) difference was related to the thoughts that flowed through their minds after some slight differences in how they became «programmed» from different reading materials.

The one who had problems, well, the SAME situations, I should say, with the other twin, was that the one who viewed it as problematic was thinking thoughts that revolved around: « Why does this keep happening to me, Me, ME?? I hate this, what a ***** that is sucking me dry, and I can't do anything about it at all! »

How about the one who was NOT so negatively affected by the SAME situation ? « This is quite repetitive, however, I am sure I could learn something useful from this experience. The fact that it repeats means that I can prepare for its repeat-occurrences. I always find that I become more resourceful when I take this approach. Resourceful enough to make exponential life-progress by paying attention to things that I otherwise would have never discovered if this kind of temporary set-backing situation didn't come my way. I await to see what kind of new and better path in life I can discover after I learn what I am supposed to from this next experience... »
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Objective of the Twin-Situational Story
The above missive is entirely to help you understand that the «thoughts» which you allow to revolve in your mind are the leading controls as to how you will feel emotionally. I will give an example of my own, from my own personal-experiences, back when I literally lived out in the forest in a tent (and I had also lived in my car for several years when I used to have a car).

I often was getting sick (and I have my suspicions as to its source but that wouldn`t be very PC for me to say), and I was forced to sleep a lot, like, all day. Even though I was getting sick rather frequently, terrible head-aches, etc., the sickness/cold/fevers/etc., were no phase to my emotions. Why ? Well, when most people get sick, they probably think to themselves: « This sucks ! I hate getting sick so often ! When will it end ? » etc.

Here was what revolved through MY mind during my sickness: « This getting sick so often is certainly getting to be rather inconvenient, but on the other hand, I always seem to recover from any sickness that I get. Not only that, each time I do recover, I always seem to become even more ridiculously attractive than before ! ;O (I guess I`ll just get myself some happy sleep for now since I should be resting until I fully recover) » and of course I was able to maintain a happy emotion despite having frequent flu/cold/head-aches for several months in a row.
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Some further examples of lines/thoughts that need to be re-programmed if not already:
« Opportunity only knocks once...then it`s gone for-ever. You can never get that opportunity back...ever...! » should be instead re-programmed into: « Opportunities are EVERYWHERE!! ! Open your eyes and pay attention. Many people walk right past those diamonds in the rough simply because so many people are conditioned to believe that values don't exist at all. »

Even if you do miss an opportunity, consider the fact that history is something that is always repeated, and why not the same for opportunities ? Now that you have a 20/20 hind-sight as to what the opportunities look like, the next time an opportunity approaches, you will have better preparation to be able to identify it before anybody else does, and seize upon it to possibly help make the world better for everyone in some way.

« This/that is impossible » should be replaced with « Nothing is impossible if you`re willing to work hard enough to make it happen »
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That having been said, perhaps if there were a researcher to the phenomenon of emotions reading my post, that I could ask said researcher to collect all of the individual « thoughts » that flow through into the minds of various people under various emotional-states, then create a programme designed to de-programme the depressed people from those negative self-limiting thoughts instead into action-inducing personal-development thoughts of individual-growth. Thanks for your time and patience in reading this missive.

When I was in one of my very depressed states, I would wake up saying positive things about myself, it would help me get out of bed and do whatever I needed to do.

Wife, kidz, M8ts, me car, footy/boxing on me tv,stand up comediansoff on holiday to Ibetha next monf, barbies and sunday lunch a booza, why would ya be depressed.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIMNXogXnvE[/youtube]

Ian Dury ftw!

I'm Spasticus...Autisticus!

Any body else a fan of Father Ted's cure for depession?[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6FSh11QPlc[/youtube]

When I am depressed I, play with my cat and spend time with her, I talk to people on the phone, I talk to people online, I cry,, I read the Bible, I listen to worship music,, I take walks, I go shopping, I clean my apartment and I try to think positive.