scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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8-I started my scrap book and painted something really nice

+3 crushed some enemies in Medieval 2 Total War so I feel pretty good right now.

0 - Im back to being like the people in the Movie 'Equilibrium'

5+ Great. I am eating strawberry sorbet and I love it. Also I have got alot of cleaning up done today.

4+ not to bad

Not very possitive. I will leave a seperate blog or something. I hurt so bad, I feel so angry. Let's say I go to hell. How is that possible when it's right here on planet earth?

0 tired, apathetic, empty, and still depressed about my nephew's situation. I don't see the point in life when it's nothing but a struggle.

Ever since I could start using runescape again I've been feeling better about life so I guess a 5 right now atm. (its the same thing as life except things go right ) Wish I could get some aspies on my buddylist though so far I only have one. :/

Anyone else play that game?

Well, the day started out as a crappy +1, and now I am up to about a +4 so, I can't complain.... much.

0, maybe -1 after a frustrating loss on Dustbowl in TF2. Luckily I am too tired to really get emotional.

-5. dark, gloomy skies outside, and I feel kinda gloomy inside..

-7 there is no miracle pill

1

A little depressed but hanging in there. Dammit, I want to stop sticking around this site but I keep coming back.

This time, I will force myself to stop even if I have to destroy my computer!!

5- There is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that my speech went well tonight, I spoke at a parent's meeting and told them about what I went through as being autistic. I moved them to tears and sometimes they were laughing and all kinds of emotion came out of my beautiful speech. I even sold a lot of stuff there including a large print which sells for $60. They know the value will go sky high as my speaking career and art career takes off and I get more well known. Now for the bad. My mom has to have back surgery and it is on February 12th, just 7 days before my birthday. Last time she had a real surgery, she came so close to death you won't believe it. Her fever went to 106 degrees and it nearly killed her and the doctors didn't think she would live. If she died, I wouldn't be typing this right now as I would have committed suicide. Her shoulder became infected. Even though this is an "easy, simple" surgery, things can go wrong. The shoulder surgery was supposed to be simple and easy. Then on top of that, according to my pdoc, I am having a psychotic episode....how evil! He is officially on the Dark Side of the Force. He actually called me nuts! Luckily no one else really thinks I am psychotic even though I am hallucinating sometimes and have well, according to Dr. Evil, the world's most bizarre delusion. Yay! I get to be in the record book for the world's most bizarre delusion! I thought my bird's delusion was weird. He thinks he is God. He actually expects me to bow and he does this by dipping his head constantly until I bow and if I don't, he cries. If I tell him he's not God, he cries. How cute. He is the world's cutest bird though.

-5 I am having overwhelming sensations of worthlessness. I keep thinking "why bother?" like life is pointless anyhow. Even if things were to improve, I wouldn't be happy then either. I realize that I am not meant to be happy.....ever.