scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-5

I am feeling a good deal of guilt, regardless of the fact that I probably should not be over come with it like I always am. This itself leads to a lot of internal conflict.

1

Tired and I have to go back to class in like 20 minutes.

1.


I want attention!


Also, I miss getting money and going shopping. I want to go back to Canada and get a job!

Another +5. I got some exercise the last couple days, and have been feeling better. I think tomorrow will be the day that I start working out again. That'll give me just enough time to be in good shape for summer.

10- The cover letter design thingy was cool because I went there today to drop off the CD of the design (a bird in the sunset which is also on www.artismtoday.com on the second page of their gallery) and they unexpectedly paid me $100! We told them since it wasn't exclusive rights to the picture and they chose a design that I already did and I did no work for it, they can have it for free. They felt bad so they paid me anyways. This is free advertising. I'm getting famous in my area! This is the first time they are using an artist for their cover design, before it was their own design. Now they are using artists. And she said there is a possibility of me speaking at some conferences that they know of. This report is coming out in April. April is a big month for me, that is when the Humane Society and some vets want my designs to send to people when their pet passed away. Now we asked how big of an order they usually do (because they asked us a few months ago if we can do "bulk" orders so we wanted to know what that meant) and they said at least 1,000 postcards or cards. This is each of the Humane Societies and there are a billion of them internationally and they do other animals besides dogs now. All animals. And next month is when some of the zoos are going to order my cards, with Mud Bay being the biggest one (thats actually a big pet store out here in Washington State- they have 14 stores) and that can be maybe a 1,000 cards. My mental health is still bad, I'm getting thought insertion and hallucinations like crazy. I think the pills are poison and are making me crazy. mmmm, poison. I also have an assessment tomorrow to get more hours for my mom since she is a caregiver.

^congradulations on your success

^ It's like she draws success in like a magnet. I'm envious of her.

3

Okay, got a lot of homework done.

1... I don't think I've ever felt so alone in my life as I do now...

-80

That weight loss add to the left of my screen that has the women pushing the other women, is getting on my nerves, which are very raw due to abuse at work. I want to beat the prissy, dainty, PROUD #$^% out of those b*****s from It's Just Lunch, where I work! I despise them! They are drivig me crazy!

They have caused me nothing but grief! One is their extreme stupidity in not grasping the correct times for their own validations! graaaaa! The second is their ass hole visitors who verbally assault us and try to dominate us over 1-5 meesly dollars. Then to drive by and say "you're such entertainment?!" Oh that did it right there for me! I've flat had it!

I also hope any ass hole who says "go ahead and kill yourself privaledged person", DIES FIRST!! ! How DARE you tell someone they diserve it! GO TO HELL AND STAY THERE!! *Stressed and very pissed off* I'm @#$% tired of agressive hateful acts! #$% tired of it! I'm sick of verbal abuse, verbal abuse, and MORE VERBAL ABUSE!! *Screams and pulls hair* @#$% tyhis stupid worthless world! Man kind should have never been BORN!!

Still a +5. Not much more to say than that.

5

Pretty good, kicking back after a week of immense school work. Going to my cousin's later.

0

My good semester is offsetting my issues regarding a good friend.

i don't know...i felt a little off today. it could have been overstimulation. there were a lot of people at aquarium where i volunteer and i felt strange. i still feel off. sister has friend sleeping over and she's not helping. she's even more ADDish than ever. she turns into something else when certain friends come over. i wanted to watch casablanca with her(she actually wants to watch it) and zone out but i highly doubt that her friends could handle a movie with no explosions, fast paced plot, or pop culture references. plus, me brother has the movie in his car and he's downtown working. david bowie and eels are helping me.

-10 to +10...i can never tell. i wish i had some sort of analyst or crazy awesome therapist like in ordinary people

I'm a 1 right now. Just lost 900 dollars.

+5.5 I just found 900 dollars. j/k(sorry, bad joke) I'm doin' pretty good for a change.