Dear Anastasia DeSousa,
I know you probably got depressed because you're human, but I envy you in a way. You were my secret role model when I started posting on WP when I was depressed and had only just started on Celexa. I tried to be like I imagined you were like even though I never met you. Happy, outgoing, friendly, full of life, all that. I had too many issues for it to last long. But I still want to be like you, or like everyone describes you and like I see in a lot of the pictures with you in them. Happy,outgoing, full of life, nonjudgemental, ambitious, modest and humble but loud and funny and always surrounded by friends. I identified with school shooters, and then I hear that you were the victim. And I wonder why Kimveer Gill chose you and how he could have hated you or wanted to kill you if all the stuff people said about you was true. I mean, they actually said nonjudgemental, and they never said that about any of the others who died in school shootings. Before I read that, however, your aunt told me that you always the first to run and stick up for the people who were being picked on. Part of me wants the life you have-- in school, guilt free, clear conscience, surrounded by friends, always going out and having fun and going on trips and partying and with a supportive extended family, having basically the perfect life.
Sincerely,
Another Ana, who might have been your friend
PS. I'm sorry I made your friends mad when I talked about Kimveer Gill on your memorial site. I really tried hard not to mean harm and yet I still did just by mentioning his name.