I don't know whats wrong with me

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It's turned into this discussion because I commented on the weirdness of modern dating.

I've been talking to friends in their 50s and they say it was much easier in the late 70s / early 80s. If you liked someone you asked them out. They find our dating messes bewildering.

I'm blaming modern dating methods for my issues. It's not me, the world is just screwed up.

To be fair though, I am much shorter than average - so a girl refusing my height doesn't mean she wouldn't go for an average height.

Probably I should create my own 'I don't know whats wrong with me' lol.

sly279 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

sly279 wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

This seems to be true on dating sites; it's not always true in real life.

Well no it's just out front. People still look for all the requirements they have they just do it discretely offline rather then posting it all for everyone to see online.

What your saying is that guy posting on a kkk forum isn't a racist offline, no he's only like that when he gets online. No people are who they are regardless of if they'll online or not. They just show their true selfs online. Those women with lists of requirements of what makes a real man if met in person will still believe that and still demand that.

That woman who won't date short people isn't going change her mind when meeting a short guy anymore then a guy who won't dat chubbies will date a 300 pound woman he met on a subway.

People are who they are. There's no magical offline world where people aren't judgmental and shallow like they are online.

hmm...you have a point, however in Online dating world, there's an abundance of sausages - so the pickiness magnifies.
For example the woman who won't date short guys, might end up only replying to very tall guys on dating sites because there are many average heights messaging her.

Yes but she'd do the same with guys approaching her in person.

Didn't you have this problem when meeting in person and they though you were tall from your profile? Did meeting you in person suddenly erase that requirement or did they not longer want to date you?

Why has hurtlooms thread turned into this discussion

Yes, you are right, maybe it just get magnified online.

Thank you for bringing unpleasant memories.

I feel like there's no point trying to meet someone new. I'll just mess things up again like I always do.

I don't really understand what happened with the last guy. No one understands. He genuinely seemed to like me and I freaked out and got really anxious around him.

It was the fact that he was so obvious about liking me that freaked me out. I'm not used to that. I didn't know what to do.

I ruined it. I wish I could have just been able to talk to him, but I felt like everyone was watching and laughing at me.

If I can make things work with someone who really likes me how can I convince a stranger to like me?

I don't want an online relationship. I want a normal in real life relationship. I want someone to spend time with. I want hugs.

I can't connect to someone just writing. You don't really get to know someone properly that way.

I just feel like it was my fault things didn't work. I don't know how I'm supposed to behave when I like someone. People tell me, "just be yourself."

But being myself, carrying on in my own routine where I never used to talk to this person who now seems to like me, means I'll carry in doing what I normally do and I won't talk to him.

Carrying on being myself will mean that he will think I don't have any interest in him.

I feel like if I start talking to him I'll make a fool of myself and everyone will laugh at me. And it'll turn out he doesn't like me and I'll look like a fool and things will be worse than before.

I'm a little bit of both. I am a good listener and can be very quiet sometimes, but in a small group I can be the life and soul of a party. I'm good at telling funny stories... I think lol

I've tended to like sweet shy guys in the past, tried to talk to them and not developed much of a rapport because neither of us were good at conversation. I would probably get on better with an extrovert, but I suspect they find me boring because at first I can be bad at conversation until I get to know someone better and feel more comfortable.

I do feel like I've looked like a fool before. I can't tell if people are gently amused, and thinking awh that's sweet, or laughing at me.

I remember being a teenager and I knew a woman in her 30s who was single, she still is, and my friends made fun of her. She's also on the spectrum. That's probably what has embedded this fear of being laughed at.

I don't hang out with those people now.

You have to move on.