The Gender discussions on L&D are harming me

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There is a women's forum because women are a minority here with issues that don't apply to the majority, and typically face certain issues that add to the burden of having an ASD that men don't.

Bras, periods, annual gynecological exams, and at some point, mammograms, pregnancy, invasive penetration (sex as a female), ovarian cancer, breast cancer, uterine/endometrial cancer, endometrial cancer, abnormal uterine bleeding and associated pain, PCOS, ovarian cysts, etc.

I'm not opposed to a men's forum provided it does not turn in to a breeding ground or a safe space for misogyny.

Misogyny is toxic not just to women but to men as well. Most of the misogynist I encounter online are guys who are bitter and resentful towards women because of perceived rejection, actual rejection, be it 1 time or 100 times, or bad relationships. They get drawn in misogynistic movements many members know of and the names of which I won't mention, where the echo chamber pushes them deeper in to bitterness and depression and turns into rage, paranoia and out right hatred of women, as they start to think women are the enemy, all the while, deep down in side, actually wanting or needing a happy, healthy relationship with a woman. But they have made thar impossible for themselves. I've seen guys as young as 17 fall in to these pits where these older men, instead of reassure them and help build their confidence, reinforce the notion that he will never come in to a good relationship with a woman and cause him to totally right himself off at 17.

These men get to a point where they want other men to fail and not have the happiness they don't and actively try to sabotage other men with their propaganda. If they can't have a happy relationship with a woman, they don't want other men to either, so they are keen to seize upon men who are struggling whether they are teenaged boys who haven't even gotten up the nerve to talk to a girl yet or older men on the spectrum who are lagging socially.

A few years back I rejected a guy. I liked him and I would have said yes but I was almost 20 years older than him. He used to be overweight and people who were over weight and have low confidence because of it often continue to have low confidence after they lose the weight. While I'm sure he actually liked me, I suspected he didn't approach someone his age because his confidence was low. I told him that he was actually pretty attractive both physically and socially and that he shouldn't be afraid to pursue women his age. I told him that if, in a few years he was still single, then I would date him. He took what I said to heart, met a very pretty young lady his age, and they recently got married and he is very happy.

What if that meeting between us did not happen and instead, he sat there feeling horrible and unwanted, went online for support, and ran in to a bunch of guys who validated and reinforced his fears that he would always be alone and women only wanted rich guys and super models? He might still be single and miserable and would never have met his wife.

That kind of misogyny is just as or even more devastating to men than it is women, in my opinion.

I think goldfish may have been expressing frustration. Nevertheless I still found this discussion helpful. I'm trying to better understand people so it is helpful to see other people's points of view, I believe that trying to understand more points of view will give me a better frame of reference for social behaviour and will help eliminate. I've been wondering lately if having a limited point of view could be a factor contributing to social difficulties.

Sly's posts have lead me to think more about how people likely evaluate others as potential dating interests or not. As a result I have been thinking about individual responses to adversity. We all deal with adversity and how we respond both in terms of actions and mental state can potentially shed light on our character. It's a good example of L&D itself, there can be potential for learning even when it might be surprising and I've found it helpful to try to view most things non-emotionally.

I do also greatly dislike customer service type jobs and similarly could not work very much in them if at all however I am trying to find work in other areas as I concluded for myself that the specific demands of customer service itself were to blame and so I am going to seek another field. I will try labour jobs then go to college.

Where I live autism is absolutely not criteria for disability unless it's so severe so as to be an absolute inability in communicating with others(Like cannot talk or understand others at all). Drs told me I am out of luck in this regard as I'd literally have to be incapable of talking or dressing myself plus testing confirming it to be impossible to learn those things basically gotta be among the most severe cases of low functioning autism. Or else having it comorbid with something else with like conditions with severe and unpredictable psychosis. They said as far as the gov't was concerned, Aspergers = 100% ability to work in any job just the same as any NT.

Sly, its great that your doctor is in tune with your challenges, what medical action have you taken to address your depression and anxiety?

[MOD]

Let's all dial it back a notch, please.

Keep it civil.

Thanks.

[/MOD]

My review is done every 4 years and 10-11 months. They set it up so it’s just shy of 5 years which would classify me as permanently disabled.

In his opinion being able to work at all even if just 15 hours a week means I shouldn’t get my loans forgiven.
It’ll go away in 25 years >.>
I don’t make enough to afford payments. So don’t pay anything.


Well isn’t everyone suppose to after high school? High school entire job is to get kids ready for college. Or that’s how they see it anyways. So I went to college. Tried few things : cooking, teaching and finally automotive. I did everything right like they told us to do. Didn’t lead me or many others to high paying successful life like they said. Unfortunately a lot of people find out the lie too late like I did.