Why does no one want me to have a relationship?

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Well, they never listened to me on that B****t vote.
Forget I said that and get back on topic quick.

Well you can still come back. Perhaps you can set yourself a timelimit, like "I'll be gone until August and will use the time I'd use on WP to study a new language/learn to play guitar better/go out to meet people/use it on another forum/anything new that you haven't tried yet. Repeating the same old pattern certainly isn't a better option since it clearly hasn't brought you any results.

Nor me


Mark I highly recommend getting Rocksmith 2014 if you want to learn how to play guitar. I never progressed far with books & youtube videos but with Rocksmith I made huge improvements , I found it awesome.

Plus there is a website that makes custom songs for Rocksmith so there is bound to be something you like. If there is nothing you like , the website teaches you to make your own - I do

Name a band that you would like to play and I'll see if there is a custom there.

I feel like my detractors are constantly thinking "I am better than that loser!" whenever they see my posts. As I said before, I wanted to prove them wrong but my efforts to do so have failed.

I Truly doubt anyone even if someone hates u and responds to you like they think u are trash, is thinking that
That sounds to me like your narcissistic mom or ppl around u might have said or implied something like that n shown it but then u carry it around worried n cautious n hyper alert thinking others are the same

Nobody is that maliciously invested in you to use u as a yardstick to compare themselves against even that goldfish person or the other person u quoted earlier.

Even if they were that is irrelevant
I know i have the same irrational fear n sense that ppl think n talk about me in a ‘what a loser! ‘ way

But to be honest life wouldn’t let them. Time and life. Really

our own bad memories or future plans or other random things engage our attention too much

I think its an excuse ur brain makes to cling to as it doesn’t know what to do with itself. My brain doez that too thats why i constantly speak about my ex law clerk n lawyer it’s like my autistic way of clinging to KNOWN patterns of thought n memories
Because due to difficulties in
Planning
Task initiation
Being organized
Lack of experience
Confusion
Depression

My brain doesn’t know how to move away from that.


I might be wrong but i think that explains your over-estimating other ppls attentiveness to you, n their malice

Also why wd a few negative n insulting comments mean more than all the sincere and kind and caring ones??

If your life is centered around those who criticize you, you don't have much of a chance for happiness.

Well, I have seen someone who's said he's happy that he's proven the people who called him a loser wrong because he is married and has a child now. Unlike me, though, he's a member of the Jesus fan club, thinks Western women are "sluts", and said he had to go abroad to Asia to find his wife.

^ Yes, but that too is framing your own life in terms of somebody else's value system, which for all you know, may just be a mask that he wears. His apparent need to say "told you so" is as much a sign of insecurity as your own. And once again, you've dug up a particular instance of when you've felt inferior, when people are trying to tell you that constantly ruminating on these is exactly why you find yourself feeling trapped. I do understand how hard it is not to do that, as I have exactly the same problem - whenever you try to put it out of your mind, some part of your memory keep popping up going; "but look - evidence, evidence, evidence."

On the contrary, I thought that was an excellent post - it fits my experience of this insecurity to the letter.

Seriously, Marknis. Read blooiejagwa's post again - aim to think about the wider issues like she does there whenever your brain tries to ruminate about some particular event that made you feel down. Most of that "evidence" that your memory plagues you with has been wildly exaggerated by your poor-self esteem; it needs putting into context to cut it down to size.

*snort* Well if all of us are sluts then he really must've been a loser if he couldn't even get one of us.

It's also strange to see a Trump supporter to hate the Western world and glorify Asia. He didn't like Japan, though, and said they are a nation of "beta males". Ironic considering how he said he hated being called a loser but yet calls an entire culture losers. He also chose a country (The Phillipines) where women are usually considered subservient and sexually submissive to men despite his claims of hating "sluts". He even claimed he only had respect for virgins but his wife can't be a virgin anymore if he got her pregnant so I guess he doesn't respect his wife anymore?

^^ Once again, you've got sucked into only debating the motivations and value systems of a "detractor", while apparently ignoring all of the more general advice that's been offered in good faith (I can see at least three posters in this thread already who you might at least have said "thanks for trying" to). You seem to be only looking for posts which you can twist (probably not consciously) into an opportunity to ruminate further on the same very specific themes over and over again. You're just feeding the monkey on your back when you do this.

Even if "detractors" were the most fundamental part of your problems, it would make sense to tackle the most cruel ones first - and your cruellest "detractor" by far is yourself. No-one has any guarantee that they will find happiness, and some find it harder to come by than others - but your monomania about "detractors" is only making it ever less likely.

Monomania is a good word to know

I think everyone replying to your posts is adding to your unhelpful perseveration.

As then u keep checking and replying
n getting lost in that labyrinth
(oohhh first time i got a chance to use THAT word in a sentence non-literally! Yay!)



Ppl have really dug deep to try and help you as best as they can, in writing. There really is not much else we can do as strangers writing on the internet

We cannot arrange for therapy fr u
We cannot offer to call (actually i have but u haven't taken me up on that i guess to be safe) which might be good for brainstorming bacl and forth and sharing experiences

We cannot visit you
We cannot give you music or songwriting lessons and drive you places

That is all stuff u wd have to seek outside of the internet.

Which wd mean getting up

and trying to form a basic plan

and seeking n finding real life ppl

to help u improve or add to the plan

n put it into action!

So Yeah we are essentially just enabling u at this poInt.

I did the same with the lawyer thing

it only made it worse since after a time ppl wd keep replying n trying to show sympathy or advice

Then bcuz of my irrational thought process
i wd think about it more n more n go crazy doing nothing substantial

I tried to frame that in the least offensive way i cd so u dont think it is an attack

I find nothing to disagree with in any of the three most recent of the previous posts in this thread.

Here's a thought. What if Mark does get a girlfriend and it eventually ends. Will he be devastated? People have been known to kill themselves from relationship problems. In other words having a relationship does not necessarily equal happiness. Sometimes they can actually make you feel pretty miserable.

Mark you may be dodging a bullet here.

Well, Mark, if you are unwilling to lose "your detractors" by not caring for what they think anymore, I would risk a suspection that you may be actually addicted to them...