I am considering permanently leaving WP

Post Reply New Topic

The continuing saga of Tim_Tex

Do not go Tim. And this thread should be a sticky.

I talked to her earlier tonight, and she said that I have problems with communication. But I told her my feelings tonight after she told me that, and I will talk to her directly on any issues from here on out.

And she is giving me the impression that communication skills can't be learned, which I don't believe for a second.

I already left another Aspie forum yesterday, because I was talking about my religious beliefs, and they ostracized me for it.

Basically, I was being bashed for being a Christian.

And I may leave WP for the same reason.

I guess since I'm not an atheist and I don't post about video games, I'm not needed here.

Tim,

I'm not an atheist - I'm a Christian... Catholic actually, though not a very good one. Particularly after taking my two boys to Easter Saturday mass - ouch... I needed divine intervention then.

I don't really talk about video games ... well, maybe just a little.

I don't think anyone's ostracizing you at WP. I hope not anyway. You're an important and respected member here.

I'm interested in the communication things you brought up...

You can improve on communication, but I'm not sure it can be "learned" exactly. Just practiced.

Did she feel that you communicate enough or too little? I've picked on you (not ostracized ) for your short responses in the past - you're often very brief - but I think you've really improved dramatically recently.

Does this girl read WP? Do you think she's read your posts here? Surely she can see that you're committed?

tim do you realy think youv'e given it a chance??
cc

Tim,

Obviously I'm new here and therefor I don't know you too well, but like many here you definitely stood out to me initially as a very welcoming, outgoing, warm, and genuinely nice and open-armed person. I, like many others here, find that positive, reassuring, and definitely likable in a person. I know you've decided to stay, but I felt the need to throw my 2 cents in on that.

Also, Tim, I definitely feel a kindred spirit with you on issues with dating and relationships. I can definitely relate with the way you feel, and the clear confusion, bewilderment, etc. that you are clearly feeling in regards to the complexities of relationships. I get the distinct feeling that many male Aspie's (or perhaps other AS's as well) find themselves in this predicament at at least some point in there lives (though I suspect many are permanently stuck there).

My point is... hang in there... and... I'm glad you're sticking around!

Can I ask of any instances when you may have felt ignored or had some issue blown off on this forum?

If it makes you feel better, that happens to everyone. Inevitably, in this big and semi-anonymous group, we're all gonna eventually be "blown-off" simply because a post gets lost in the shuffle, or a discussion changes direction just before you post, or whatever. No one is doing it to disregard or ostracize anyone... it just happens. Well-meaning people, like us, do it all the time because we're just not aware that we are doing it.

Chin up, bro!

Tim I don't know you that well.

I'm an atheist, but I always read what you have to say and am interested in your perspective on things.
I think your views are good especially when a lot of people go off the wall a bit.


To me you seem like a really great guy and you shouldn't let other people change that.

Hey you can't go, you are part of th furniture here.

I've discussed everything with her, and I have done pretty much all I can think of on my end.

She told me that a relationship would never be possible between us because of location and timing, and personality mismatch.

And I am worried that now my friendship with her is in jeopardy.

She is the only female Aspie who has the same interests and beliefs as me. And distance was an issue.

If I said that a potential partner must be:

a) an Aspie
b) a Christian
c) must live within 50 miles of San Marcos, Texas
d) must like the Simpsons and South Park
e) must be goal-oriented and college-educated

..then I would never meet anyone.

I have never been more depressed in my entire life, and I am worried that I might try to hurt myself somehow.

I've been in your situation a couple times already Tim. By the time it gets to this, it's pretty much over. Continuing on would be awkward for her and you'd be constantly stressed because you can't be the way you want to be with her. Plus, you'll be ignoring any other potentials who might come along while you try to hold out on the hope that this current girl will change her mind(which she won't).
It's hard, but you just got to move on.
And don't hurt yourself. No girl is worth self-injuring over.

There's no one near me that would ever meet everything I look for in a gal. Some things just have to give. I've learned not to be too specific with what I look for, just go for those I feel I can connect with(which is rare in itself).