scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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I'm cranked up to 11 like Spinal Tap right now.

See the "art, writing and music" section for the explanation.

-10, went to my psychologist and its hard to explain. She thinks I am not "thinking clearly." She also thinks that if things don't get under control in the near future, I would be locked up in the state mental hospital against my will, and I will NOT accept that! Then the doctors 20 years ago were right...that I would be locked away somewhere with no future. Yay for me! "Future"....I keep on hearing that word and have no idea what that means. I literally FEEL dead. I feel as if someone is controlling my body for me. I also feel drunk even though I had NO alcohol! All floaty like and everything feels "weird" around me. Am I real???? I don't know what to do anymore.

+2

doing better
last 3 days rolled over by a tidal wave,
an emotional tsunami

6

Doing better. I guess I don't have the Swine Flu after all!!

About an 8 right now. Far better than yesterday or the day before. Which is to say, I'm in good humor and feeling a tad bit ornery. This is usually the state I'm most productive in.

2. Ok, though sort of bored though there will be plenty to do today. Weather looks nice, I cant see a cloud in the sky. Car is back now though, so have my freedom back, though I now face $$$s and $$$$$$s of insurance/maintenance bills.

But on the upside I might be closer to sorting my life out.

5/6
feeling creative, ive just starting drawing something BIG

4. Nice day today. Clear blue sky. There was a cloud of fog hanging over the harbour this morning which looked very nice. Not sure what I will do. Perhaps book my car in for its bi-yearly checkup.

About 7.

0.00/10

I may have the flu. not good.

5

Doing well, just tired of all this work. One more week.....

3. Ok, I really have to make an effort to try and spend way, way less time on the internet. I know I have said this 10,000,000 times, but I have to make the effort properly. So, taking a break.

+6 Today turned out pretty well. Not a whole lot to talk about, but i can say it wasn't disappointing at all.

3.57/10
The physics final was quite difficult. Lots of stuff that wasn't discussed in lecture that you had to remember conceptual details from the textbook to solve.

let's see........
I'm STILL unemployed, but on UI benefits

My cats are insane, but healthy

I have a GF, she's not NT (thankfully) so she gets me.

I finished reading DUNE.

So I'd say that I'm a strong 6!

Still -10. Very depressed. I tried asking for help on so many sites, and no one is even really bothering. If it were anyone else, they would immediately help them, its like they want me DEAD. Look how many replies I got on this site for example and its one of the so called HIGHER response counts! People are sick and tired of me. Darkness all around. Starting to "hallucinate" again. God (or whoever) put me here to SUFFER for how ever many years humans tend to live. Things are deliberately placed to go bad. There might be a few so called temporary "good" things, but those have NEVER amounted to much. I try and try but all I know is FAILURE. Oh, what does the word "success" even mean??? I know my brother's business plan well..is going according to plan. He will make MILLIONS of dollars, while I struggle and make a pathetic $600 something on SSI payments. Things are meant to go well for my brother but bad for me. He's doing perfectly in school, and is doing his Master's degree. All I have is an Associate's degree and easy classes. Well, you get the point. I am depressed. I miss those "manic" days.