scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+2. Pretty tired, better get to bed soon. A good day today however, I just wish it was a little more peaceful.

-10

The girl I've had unrequited love for two years is also in love...with my best friend. He doesn't give a s**t about her, and I have to sit back and watch him f**k with the most amazing person I've ever met because I havn't got the social skills to give her what she deserves. If life was a person I would have broken his arms with a lead pipe, slit his arms open and drown him in his own blood

0-10

I met an old friend whom I use to drink with. Well 2 days ago she bought us two big bottles of vodka. I told her I don't drink anymore. Well she left one large bottle behind and I haven't been able to throw it away.

A large part of me wants to drink some right now...feeling pretty lonely at the moment. But I think it'll set me up again. I'm so excited but conflicted at the same time....Don't know what to do.

Maybe I'll call her up or something.

Everytime I drink, I can't seem to stop and when I do...I blackout or get into a bunch of trouble anymore. At the same time it's hard to be sober and hang out with people who drink. Most people my age seem to do a lot of drinking and I don't feel comfortable around them unless I'm jacked up myself.

I feel like that too.

It just gets frustrating to be alone all the time. I'm not good at sociolizing with people verbally and drinking use to help me relax with that problem. Still I know that's no excuse to get trashed.

I think this is the only "social" network I have right now and it will probably always be that way...

Perhaps we just need to find people to sit and perform hobbies with. Such as music, or painting, or crafts....

Seconed zen mistress^^

It's just seems so hard. I don't know..at the same I'm good at socializing in terms of similar interestests but not good at simalirizing enterests of other feelings.

4.5; an improvement on the negative something of before I went for a walk.

Yeah, I know the feeling MissC. If I can find some common ground with people I can talk for a long time. But around in my area and I imagine the same is true for you and a lot of members here, there aren't a lot of people in our small towns with similar interests/goals. All people around here seem to care about is self-destructive behavior, like drugs, alcohol, crime, etc. But there is no good in any of it, no matter how good it makes a few moments seem. My own step-brother is having to start rehab tomorrow because of that behavior.

Plus, I have trouble showing interest in other people's interests too. I come across sometimes like I could care less (sometimes I really do feel that way) but I just don't share their level of interest in some of their interests or hobbies. That doesn't mean that I don't find them interesting though.

I just wish we could all meet and live relatively close to each other. If that were to happen, I'll bet at least 90% of WP members wouldn't feel quite so lonely. We all seem to have similar interests. Not that we have everything in common with everybody but I know we each have something in common with a lot of members on here.

My canine brother died today, who I considered equal to a biological brother in all aspects. Cancer.

Also, I finally accepted the truth that I'll never be able to be with the woman I love in a "real" relationship due to who I am (see: Rain Man); said woman named Heather.

All in all, not the best couple of days for me (perhaps the worst, but O well).

^Best wishes.




0 = Crap.