scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-3

As expected, I'm going through the worst part of tanning.

I have a high tolerance to pain but this is the one kind of pain I can't shake off.

0.5. Cold, worried, and I haven't had enough sleep.

3. Nothing much happening. It is drizzly and I would like to go out though feel guilty about leaving the dog on her own. I should be able to go out. I worried about the dog even when I was overseas. Maybe I worry too much about her. I sort of see animals as versions of me though.. I dont know.

Anyway never got to go to the cinema the other day, because when I got there only things I didnt want to see were on, such as Terminator, or Fast And The Furious, or things i had seen already.

But I should get out of the house.

+7 As i stated in another thread, I'm happy 'cause i made a killer batch of BBQ ribs. It was the first time i made them, so it made me sorta proud. Plus, the rest of my day was pretty decent too. Can you tell it doesn't take much to make me happy?

0. Another encounter with the counsellor I saw last week. Turns out she's a psychodynamicist.

I explained my disabling symptoms of autism, focusing on the executive dysfunction and sensory issues, and even mentioned some of the neurological basis of them. However, she focused on eating issues, thinking I might be anorexic. I told her I definitely wasn't. She: "But how do you know?" Suspecting she wouldn't accept my own assessment, I said "My doctor said so", which he did. She told me I displayed similar patterns to the many anorexic clients she used to see. I then told her of the link between anorexia and AS, and the cognitive similarities. She appeared stunned and wouldn't accept it at first. I also mentioned the genetic and neurological basis of anorexia, but she didn't accept that at all, saying "But how would they measure such things?" and that it is only the mother-daughter relationship and family dynamics that causes anorexia.

Even worse, she attributed my eating difficulties (which are sensory and exec. dysfunction-related) to attention-seeking, due to unmet needs for it earlier in life. She also told me how illness/disability is used by many, subconsciously, to gain attention and all sorts of other benefits, to meet these earlier unmet needs. She stated she was not accusing me of this, but her other statements strongly implied she was. The insistence on a trauma model, plus the lack of logic, knowledge and inquiry, is not therapeutic; quite the opposite. I have little choice but to go it alone yet again (but not before ending the sessions by providing a detailed printout on the latest eating disorder research.)

Negative something. I've just discovered that I've broken the screen on my mother's digital camera, and I don't know how it happened. I can afford to buy her a new one, so that's not a problem (I'll just put the memory card from her camera into the new one), but I hate the fact that no matter how careful I am with things, I always manage to lose them or break them (and I'm not terrribly happy about losing a couple of hundred dollars out of the money that I've been carefully saving, and all because my best attempts at being careful weren't good enough).

+3

eh

things are fine

still got that UPS problem laying around but im at the f*ck this ill deal with it later stage

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

+6 So far, so good.

-10 sick and tired of people who pretend to be nice only because they feel sorry for me.

also feel overwhelmingly exhausted.

it's been a sine wave, from around 7 (did lots of good stuff in the lab, even though the cell lines looked like snot ), then 4 (some git nicked my pcr machine, managed to tear the end off electrophoresis gel, broke a box ending up with the freshly sterilised pipette tips all over the floor )

and way back up to around 8 because I'm going to see Clutch tomorrow.

7. I'm going cinema tomorow with a friend I haven't seen in a while
My social life is improving yaaaaay

About 8 at the moment.

0 to -1 just feeling bleh

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

0

Damn......

Damn, damn, damn!! !!