scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-3

Went tanning again today, and all I have to say is.......

*screams bloody murder*

OOHH DEAR GOD!! !! !! !! !!

^



+3.78 Eh, not quite there yet.

^^

+3 i got an awesome new song to obsessively loop over and over XD

2ish.

1 point probably from being kind of numb.
1 point from seeing it coming - 3 times in what, 4 months?

I threw out the charm with his name on it. It's not vindictive, but it's meant to protect me from trying to go back. I need to go forward.

I actually think I'm kind of relieved. I still and will always love him, but I don't feel so overwhelmingly guilty and selfish right now. It was the wrong thing to do, to essentially force him back the first two times. I don't think either of us has been healthy about it in a long while. I think this will solve conflict with both of us.

I wonder if I kept bringing up the bad in hopes of this happening; the final break. I thought about it the other day, about what I would do if he called it off again, and I found I wasn't as devestated as I was before. But the thought of me breaking it off was just unthinkable for me; I guess because there was still a chance at it, and I couldn't live with myself if I broke off something that could be. But this, is just couldn't be. I hate that, but it's how it is.

I still wish that we could just go back, to that first year - but there's no use to wishing that, because we can't. It's no one's fault but nature.

I haven't cried yet. I'm kind of surprised about that. But then, I haven't slept in a while either, so maybe that's why. This whole post feels heartless; I really do love him. But it's better for the both of us this way.

-10

I got official confirmation from a (now former) friend that she wants nothing to do with me anymore, even though I did nothing wrong.

My only hope of ever finding someone like me is if someone creates a reality show called "Who Wants to Date a Bigot?", even though I am not bigoted. People just assume I am one because I'm a Christian.

I hope in time you can heal from the wounds; sometimes, time isn't enough, and for those times, friendship, love and care can get you through it.

As for me, I'm sad, for everything that's happened recently, but I'm also happy for everything that's happened from the beginning; two sides to the same coin, said coin being life.

Friends gone
Family/Father gone
.
.
.
Romance gone
Jack/Brother gone
.
{Waiting for the next thing to come along}

But, I'm happy that I could experience these things, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've lived free of regret and compromise, and I've never strayed from the moral path I walk.

+1. No better than most days. Just here contemplating my fate. I wish it would include someone I could be real good friends with. But hey, it's no time to complain.

4. Maybe 5. Then again, perhaps 4.

Hiding in the library, after another dull day of science. Hopefully fixed my experiment protocol.

Was driven mad by irritating woman trying to get me to do her work and who has no concept of "I am doing an ultra fiddly task which needs all my concentration, please go away before I fire a pipette tip up your nose"

Currently more preoccupied with trying to find pictures of ravens (but only back view, half folded wing structure) and not finding what I want/need. And daren't start a thread on here to find the kind of pictures I want, because I am an irrelevance

Thank you.

In a way, the romance isn't gone. I'll always love you, and you know that; I'm always here for you. You and I both know that now isn't the time, isn't healthy, but I'm still here for you. And maybe one day something will happen that can make it all right; probably not, but maybe. I'll still be here.

I'm happy to have experienced them as well. It was a good thing.

3-ish. I'm thinking about taking a week off work during the first week of the school holidays (the week after next), because work is so stressful and exhausting that it's making me physically ill (my work involves dealing with people all the time, and it just hurts); I really, really need a break, it's gone beyond "a break would be nice" to "if I don't take some time off soon, not only will it make me very sick, but I'll end up hurting myself", but I'm not sure that I can financially afford to lose a week's income.

hugs to those who are ((((((((((((lonely, tired, bored, going through changes))))))))))

I am probably a 3. Manic because I am trying to pack for a big trip and there are so many little tiny tasks which I cant handle and I am overwhelmed and stressed. I would love to have a magic wand which would make tasks do themselves.

Anyway I will be away till next Thursday so hope you all have a good week .

hi red girl (: , why think of yourself as "I am an irrelevance?"

+5 its 1:30 AM but im having fun with my friend on the phone ANdre

red girl. I love it. wished I'd picked that as username! Thanks Mr CL, king of random pic thread!

Irrelevance, well I seem to just tag along on the end of threads, add some non sequiteur, then scuttle off. I don't seem to have much to add, or special fantastic talents and originality.

I'm more cheerful today, at least a 7 because I made some science work today against all odds. I will be at least a 9 later, because I shall be going to see the stoner rock goodness that is Clutch. (it would be 10, but the accoustics at tonight's venue are a bit poor) Oh and I managed to draw and paint some pretty good ravens. I might go all Martha Stewart and print/applique them onto cushions.

Wishing some of my good mood to everyone else

3.
Love triangles are

Bull


s**t

Negative something. Too much stress.
(And the thought that I could have lost him... I feel sick. )