scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-20

I need someone to talk...

seriously! why is it so hard?

-8

Oh jesus. My mother's friends from england is here, and her son. I like them (although I don't know them), but I obviously can't talk to them. So that means I can't eat till about 4 at night, I can't be stuck in the same room as them.

But that's not the worst bit. My mother came down to my room, and asked me to "show him my PC", which translated into straight talk means "socialise". I gave a hum haw answer, and she said "why can't you be nice"?

It's a good question. Why can't I? I suck, there's no way around it. I am an inferior person, and even the most average NT is better than me, at least they have the capacity to talk, to love and to be happy. If I can't do any of those elemental things, then I hardly qualify as a person.

If she pushes me again I'll have to tell her straight out that I'm autistic, and depending on my parents reaction that will end up with them understanding my limitations, patronising the ass off me and treating me like I'm mentally ret*d (then again, who's to say I'm not), ignoring me and feeling ashamed that I was ever born. Stupid me

I also found out I meet every criteria for ADD. It sure is a swell day

Thanks. Glad you are enjoying the manic phase. Sometimes I envy people with bipolar, I dont seem to have any big ups anymore.

~

Anyway, 3. Cloudy. I dont know why I always feel the need to give a weather report. Maybe it is because I am a visual person and this computer has a window next to it.

Dont really know what to say about today. I am happy because I have worked out a way to get the sound therapy cd onto my MP3 player and now I can get more housework done because I dont have to spend so many hours in one room listening to the CD.

-5. I feel guilty, and am close to being broke.

Today was an average day, nothing special. I'm in a decent mood though, so I'll give it a +5.

-5.. Haven't done any school works because of WP.(I don't blame WP about it though)

I know how tough it can be, to have no one to talk to. Hope you feel better soon..

As for me, +1. There are still many obstacles to overcome though.

Evidently more stressed by today than I thought. A link didn't open right away, and I was about to melt down over it.

5 average

No real number, just mixed.

On one hand, I'm still a bit irritated about something I was irritated about before. It should be solved, really, but I'm just too irrational, I suppose. And I'm irritated that people will up and abandon dogs.

I'm also feeling a little guilty because I could only take one dog from the pound. There were two that I really wanted; both need a good home. What happens if the second one ends up dying? What if no one takes him? I can't keep them both, but he's too sweet to die.

But I'm somewhat happy that I saved the one. She's very sweet, even if she does need some work.

And tired. Really, really tired.

A 5, again unusual, though my eyes hurt and I still dont know what to do about that. I dont believe I will ever post above 5 until i get all this stuff sorted. I looked at my calendar yesterday and I realised my first appointment with the psychologist is on Thursday, so it is drawing pretty near....

8

Not some stupid quasi-manic mood swing for once, but actual gladness. I left my window open, and around ten moths flew into my room. I've been chasing them around with my camera ever since. I've got some great pictures, but I'm a little blind after I stupidly took a picture of a moth on the mirror with flash mode turned on

1 can't sleep so I'm on WP since there's no one to talk to. Worried about the cats my neighbor's going to trap. Worried about my job, hate myself nothing new except I'm not smart which is why I'm financially worse. Just looked at old videos of my family and miss some of them.

Don't know. I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to handle postgraduate study and work, when just work is overwhelming me at present. I suppose that the end result will be worth all the overload and pain if I can handle it.

1. Very very irritable, and almost feel like starting an argument. It's just a collection of minor annoyances that has built up to the point where I shall probably unload it all, hiroshima level on someone/something who doesn't deserve the full force of rage.

And really hacked off with the weight loss ads on here.

^ I use adblock, downloadable through firefox. Just one right-mouseclick and the pesky ad is gone. Though it seems to be needed to be done a couple of times per week as they sometimes come back under another website name...

As for me, a 5. Again. There is a reason for the mid-positive range number, which I cannot post. There is all sorts of mayhem going on next door, they seem to have a digger there this time. listening to the sound therapy cd on my mp3 player, that seems to be going ok. Just 3 days to my diagnosis now, and 5 weeks till my birthday (or 4?).