scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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0

I'm happy and sad

-1. Tired and somewhat sad.

6

After a fairly chaotic and moderately self destructive week (believe me, you have to try hard if your chosen means of alienating and loosing ‘friends’ is facebook), a plateau was attained. Sitting surrounded by people I feel only contempt for, with their happy lives that merrily skip by the concerns I face, that old psychological state dawned. I will die, all of this is pointless, nothing matters and that cannot be changed. Normally extremely depressing thought but instead just says to me f**k it and ‘learn to let go’ fightclub style.

I walked home through the drenching rain wearing a t-shirt and simply didn’t care. Now I wish to dance, ideally to something intense. Of course, this feeling will fade.

Welcome to absurdism, my friend And there is nothing depressing about it, the lack of meaning in this world is...liberating. There is no wrong way of living, as nothing you do matters, and I find that empowering, knowing I am of as much consequence as anyone else on this melancholic little planet

I'm good, I just realised that despite being pretty damn mentally ill and depressed I have better social skills than one of my NT (read: latent narcissistic/schitzo) friends.

5. A lot better today. Interesting thought ^ about absurdism....

Im listening to a Beatles cd I put together out of the mp3 tracks I have. Im going to have to make it on a new cd as there seems to be a scratch on the CD. It is playing "Yellow Submarine" right now.

Feeling better at home but definitely I cannot continue here for more than a few months longer... I just cannot function at the standards required. Ive found that I get along fine with my parents when I am not living here though.

0 under high load

-5. One of those days again.

+4. I won my 2nd complaints procedure of the year and will now be granted a referral for treatment and advice for my AS. The waiting list is about a year, but I will see whether my GP can get me bumped up the list.

Apart from that, I'm getting into some research, working at home, and have some moderate fatigue and anxiety.

-5.

Extremely annoyed how one member here on WP stopped replying to me abruptly and even blocked me on Twitter after I followed her.

I've asked her to please explain what's going on in a PM I sent to her yesterday, and she's still not getting back to me!

-20 too depressed and dun wanna want to go to work >_<

The same thing happened to me. The only reason I got closure was because I gave a friend her e-mail address, and when she replied to me, she was very angry, and acting as if I was some sort of creepy stalker, rather than a concerned friend.

Hmm. Why would she do that? I thought people with AS would have no difficulty revealing their true feelings online.
So if they don't like a person, why is it so hard for them to reply and explain why it is so?
I am sick of getting this kind of treatment from NT's, and now I discover that people with AS do the exact same thing.
I've also noticed how easy it is for someone to appear weird and stalkerish online, but when you meet them in real life, you can see a multidimensional persona.

So. If I can only find people with AS online, and if trying to establish connections with NTs in real life doesn't work well either (I can't relate to them), is it better to become completely isolated, give up on the whole thing and just agree that I'm destined to socially fail? I thought I could learn new social skills and get some advice from fellow people with AS, not just online, but in real life.

The exchange of PMs with this woman was my first attempt to meet someone from this forum in real life. Now that it didn't work, I'm afraid to try again. When things like this happen unexpectedly and without explanation, I end up thinking about them for many days over and over again, and it causes me great levels of anxiety.

Hugs to ((((((((((everyone posting the negative numbers))))))

Mathgirl I know what you mean, I have had a similar experience recently, but offline, it was very upsetting. I guess the only thing I could conclude is that that person was not meant to be a friend. Perhaps i had had a lucky escape.

Anyway, probably a 2, ambivalent feelings about the diagnosis. I am sort of about 80% in favour of getting one but it means sitting in a room with this psychologist for a few sessions in a row and I am dreading it. How I wish I could get a diagnosis via webcam!

I had known this person for two years, and I had met her in person a few times. But she suddenly disappeared for no reason, despite her promises that she wouldn't, and she blocked me from IM. Instead of apologizing for disappearing, she was angry because I gave my friend her e-mail address. Yet she wasn't answering me directly or telling me what was going on. She acted as if I was going to repeatedly give out personal information and stalk her.

And she's the only female Aspie who likes the things I like who doesn't think I'm a bigot, or who would require me to be a hipster in order to date her.

I feel lousy. I lost my strength and probably am at -9.

^ Hope you feel better soon.

3, same old stuff. Sky is grey and leaden, as if God is coming to judge all. Just as well I am not into the bible.
I think I have to get out of the house somehow... for some reason I become really stressed in houses, I feel cooped up, I can sit for so long here but there is only so much time I can spend painting before I start doing all that repetitive, idle stuff such as constant forum surfing.