scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-7. *sigh* I really feel like crap...I really want to go to sleep because I feel so depressed, but yet I want to post here find some sign of happiness before I go to sleep...or at least some kind word...

Hope you feel better soon, SierraBell

+4 trying to stay positive

5. It is a beautiful day, blue sky with a few clouds on the horizon. Not sure what I will do with today. It is my birthday on Thursday and my friend wants to... keep me company. And will be going out later to a restaurant. So feel good. It is Tuesday here so birthday is 38 hours away .

minus ten. I am feeling really, truly, awful.

Can't sleep, pain in my chest from panic, I just feel terrible.

- 5

Sad, hating myself

2. Feeling raw and vulnerable, but more at peace after saying some things that I needed to say. No matter the final outcome, I can't regret being honest. My Mum says I should keep some things to myself. Apparently, at 34, I still really suck at that.

Well, down to about a 2 now. Parents house seems to be trying to burn itself down. I was making toast and I could smell this awful smell... spent 20 mi9nutes running in and out of the house, panicked, opening windows and doors, unable to find the location of the smell as it seemed to be everywhere. They are overseas so I had to contact my brother. I finally found an appliance which looked like it could be the source but I dont know as there are no scorch marks or anything. Now Im afraid to turn anything on.

^ I would call the fire department and have them come and check it out. Sometimes electrical fires can start in the walls. I don't want to scare you, but I think it's better to ere on the side of caution.

^ Thanks. I am getting an electrician out here... Im not sure if I should call the fire department or not. The smell appears to have mostly gone. I dont know if it is just a burned out socket... I am keeping an eye on the situation. I will mostly be outside today anyway..

2 still. Ok, electrician has been and went. Has been a stressful day but have to look on the bright side of it
- Problem was appliance, not wall socket
- Electrician only charged $86
- He arrived very quickly, and spent about 40 minutes testing the socket and doing other things.

Unfortunately as I was taking the appliance out of the house the bottom of it fell out, dumping all this toxic, electrically burnt smelling water all over my bare feet and legs. And I am OCD so that sort of thing is really not good. But, I guess that is life and I cant avoid its scary chemicals as I would like to.

Ive definitely learnt a lot about executive function today, and just how much I can handle.

I feel like I could put a f*****g bullet in my skull.

-5 rebounding from -9, mood swing gets me again.

-10, my life's going pretty s**t atm

Hope you chaps all feel better.

For me I would say -1. I'm just so tired. Changing the time of my meds didn't seem to help. Bad night's sleep as well.

Maybe the following doesn't belong in this thread but....

I don't know what to feel. I'm a bit numb and confused now. Sad also.

I just heard that my aunt has passed away. She was autistic and has always been single. She was really a sweetheart and deserved so much better. She got Alzheimers about three/four, maybe longer, years ago and the past year she didn't/ couldn't leave her bed anymore.

What a lousy ending. I nearly never cry but am actually doing it at the moment.

It all is so double. On the one hand you wish she would turn better and on the other you know that won't happen and you wish for her that the suffering ends. Some say it is for the best, the suffering is over but.... I don't know. Death s*cks big time and emotions like this confuse the F out of me. But....

Rest in peace, slaap zacht, sweet aunt Nel.

(please don't feel sad after reading this, I just needed to vent a little)