scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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2, was a 4.

5. Went to the Domain and Wintergarden greenhouses as I was going to. Took some photos.. came out ok...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/celwhoiscel/?saved=1

-2 My number is slowly creeping back to the plus side which is encouraging. Saw the dr for a followup today. The bacterial infection in my lungs seems to be clearing but my airways won't stay open to allow enough oxygen which is why fingernails and lips are a blueish purple. So my steroid med has been doubled and that's the one that makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. I have to take it every 12 hours to ensure it's in my system 24/7 to help the swelling in the airways to go down. I'm not to exercise, be exposed to stress or exert myself in anyway.

My ex has to go back to work on Monday which means I'm on kid duty again and I have yet to figure out how the heck to pull that off given the restrictions I'm under. We don't have any options of anyone to else to come in and help out (son is also AS/Tourettes/ADHD and homeschooled and I have an NT 4 year old).

I think I'll have to force myself not to think about it until Sunday night. It won't do me any good to get worked up over it now.

^
I hope you are feeling better before Monday, CG.... um, earlier I hope.

~

Well, I'm not physically sick (+/-) but my heart feels so heavy. How many times can a heart break, I wonder. Man, why do I do this to myself always. Too much, too much.

Some cynics say love doesn't even exist, but I refuse to believe that. I know that's bull for I've been there and I'm not going to give up.... how f*cking lousy I might feel when s**t hits the fan again.

How naive that might be and at -6 at present I'm tempted but I'm not giving up.

(And why the F do you let yourself be influenced by what others say about me, Irene? Why did you switched opinion and changed heart?)

Bugger.

^ Glad you are feeling a bit better CG and hope your broken heart eases up, Erminea..

I am a 5. Still happy from taking the photos yesterday. I spent a lot of the morning running in and out of the glasshouse because there were little kids there making loud, high pitched noises, and in one case a mother was making loud high pitched noises at her toddler because the toddler was being quiet and she wanted to make it make loud noises for some reason (?) strange woman. I have hyperacusis so often am seen running from places... but got the photos and I was quite happy with them yesterday when I downloaded them. So, I will definitely spend more time with this interest from now on. I need to make an effort to indulge my smaller interests to stop the big one from being such a huge obsessiion.

-7

Look out for a sociopath named Karol Cook from Houston, folks. She destroyed enough lives!

10

CG: That's excellent news to hear that things are starting to head in the other direction.


zen: Sweet pics, nature rocks. Looks like a cool pace to hang out and spend some time. I'm glad you had a good day.


I'm doing good too. My dad is coming over to visit for a little bit, so that'll be a nice change. Plus, they haven't seen me since April, so I'm curious to see what they say about my drop in weight(yeah, I'm still being an attention whore ). I'll give today a +5 too.

^ Thanks Jawbrodt.. I definitely will be taking more photos on a regular basis after yesterday. Good that you will be seeing your dad...


Now, a 2. Have eaten too many sugary biscuits.

-7

A great improvement over last night. That must have been a -10. It hasn't happened in years.

-10

+2

Recuperating from pharyngitis.

1,2, or 3 considering I've had much worse comparitively. I hope I either die swiftly and/or asleep or at least into the stage where I don't remember anyone. Life is a mere phrase for hell unless you are made of steel and iron and of good insurance.....

0. There is still room for circumstances to improve. If they ever will, is anybody's guess. Mixed feelings about whether or not, I am really content about my isolation still rages on. I guess time only knows what the outcome will be.

Around 3. Trying to convince myself that I'm not a bad person (regarding something that happened today. I'm probably overreacting.).

+1. Apart from feeling too hot and mentally sluggish (very annoying), things are OK. There's a backlog of tasks to complete, and because I can only work when feeling well, there are no scheduled breaks and I end up working odd hours.