scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Thanks, I_Wanna_Blue, for the good wishes. I hope there will be a lovely girl in your future, just waiting to be met.

Tim_Tex,the worst that would happen if i tell my ex is that he could stop being friendly to me and decide that I am not worth knowing. After all it never nice to realise that your ex is dating someone new.

CelticGoddess, I hope you feel better soon, sounds like you are on quite an arsenal of meds, in time they should do their work... I remember my brother had pneumonia too afew years back, I think he was letting hmselg get too run down. Anyway I hope I soon read that you are on the mend.

I am a 3. Sitting at my boyfriends place, he has food poisoning but he doesnt know how he got it. So I have been helping him out a bit. He said before he would like me to make h9im some leek and potato soup later on, should be interesting as Ive never made soup in my life.

-10 I know its just me. Who the hell cares since it is the Dark One, the Bringer of Death. Whatever I touch, breaks. Mom is going to die because she will need surgery and the last 2 times in a row the docs literally didn't expect her to live. I WANT the Gov War to come so I am tired of hearing how great things are in the world, the top story being the stock market went up. I bring your day down. No one in the ENTIRE world believes me they all think I am nothing but a bleeping liar that should burn in hell for eternity. That is where liars go and I DON'T LIE. The feeling of hatred towards me is close to universal across many sites. I know limited minded me, no brain present. I am too stupid because I can't contribute to society I have no real skills. I am going to lose everything we own live on the streets and eat rats and garbage. The parents are hiding things once again, they are the liars not me. I am no good. I have been to so many doctors and they all think I am no good and just dump me. Then on countless so called "support" sites they single me out and rip me apart like I don't deserve to live. I am a pathetic idiot with no future and totally hopeless. Nothing goes right in my family, just loss and potential deaths. I am the Influencer that destroyed everything in the world. I don't do good because I am a repetitive moron.

^ I am so sorry to hear how your life is right now. No one deserves that feeling of self loathing. It's such an overwhelming emotion and it's a scary place to be. I wish you strength and peace, Firebird.

As for me....

-7 for my health. Still having that pesky issue of trying to sleep and then I stop breathing. It's a scary feeling. I go back to the doctor this week to get it all figured out.

But in other areas of my life I'm at a +10. I went through something pretty horrific nearly 11 years ago and today I had my day in court (literally) to take back some self respect and stand up to the man who caused so much pain. It's been a long time coming and my testimony in court brought me a very beautiful compliment from the judge and it all went in my favour. That chapter of my life has closure and I can finally move forward. He can't come after me or my son and hurt us. There is no better feeling in the world than that.

Everything going forward is golden. Now that I've put so many things to rest I'm going to focus solely on myself and get well and then look forward to every good thing that I have ahead of me. I'm finally going to obey that strict 24/7 bedrest order.

I am sorry about your health. It sounds like sleep apnea from the stopping breathing when sleeping.

CelticGoddess, Im glad you had your day in court, and that it worked out well. FireBird I dont think you will end up homeless. You will be ok.

I am a 3, tired though and bored. I hope I will be going out tomorrow. There are only so many ways I can entertain myself.

There have been thunderstorms today, I think it is the start of thunderstorm season. Which means a lot of wrestling with a 20kg dog who is having a panic attack. There will be fireworks in November too. I think I need to stock up on the doggie sedatives.

+ 10 and ready to kick some ass

^ That's awesome. Read my sig line. Sounds like it applies.

Zen - Thanks. I'm really glad it's done. We used to have a dog that would seizure during thunderstorms and fireworks. It was brutal. Doggie sedatives all the way. What kind of dog do you have?

My health ~ I'm at a -5. My throat is starting to open up more which is good, but my lungs are still full of fluid. I slept sleeping upright for about and hour and still managed to choke. I'm so over this. I'm supposed to be on 24/7 bedrest but I have to do 10 hours of kid duty every day so I'm kind of screwed. I'm supposed to go back to my doctor either tomorrow or Friday depending on what she has open.

Everything else ~ I'd say it's a +6. I'm having a bit of brain burnout from the past 24 hours. It's like I waited to resolve all outstanding issues in my life in a 24 hour period and doing it while I'm PMSing. But I feel settled. I've had so many phone chats with my Mum the past few days and I've needed that. Someone sent me a huge bouquet of flowers that are gorgeous (daises...which are my favourite...and roses) and someone else gave me a good book to read that I'm going to pick up today. My girlfriends have come out in force to be supportive. So I'm feelin the love. I can't complain about that.

^ Hope you continue to recover, and congratulations on your victory in court!

I'm about a 5 today, things are great with my GF, and I managed to squeeze some money out of my CD yesterday so now I can look for a job without doing it so desperately.

Allergies are acting up though.

^ Thanks SF It's awesome to hear that things are going well with the GF

+10

I likely aced my community and regional planning test earlier today.

The good news just keeps on coming.

CelticGoddessI hope you continue to improve. Tim Tex congratulations with the test, SFgood to read you are happy.
Atmy boyffffriendss typing on this silly tiny compjter that he has.The keys are tiny and Iam having great diffiucvly. I am probably a 3to 5. Just ate a whole lot of mussels he cooked up. He has a sore stomach because he atelots of them. Hope noone minds the spelling mistakes. I know some aspiesare botheredby poor sppelling and punctuation. QAlso a problem is that I am lying down whileI am typing.

+10

I DID ace the community and regional planning test!

3. Very, very tired, but having trouble getting to/staying asleep.

up to a 4.

Wooh, one more week and my mother moves home. Sounds mean of me, but my house is small and she is incredibly controlling (emotional blackmail, the works...I love her but too much time with her and I always wind up feeling unmaneagably depressed)

Only blot on the horizons are sorting out my MSc ( I want to redo a module) and the horror of OK Cupid replies....a mistake to join as I need therapy/surgery before having any kind of relationship- although I did specify Friends Only. And as ever, despite clearly stating how much music, and certain specific bands genres etc mean to me, replies are from people who may be very nice to look at, but not exactly compatable- amazing seeing as other than ultra mainstream stuff, my tastes are quite diverse. Even put as a filter question "what went wrong with AFI after Black Sails at Sunset?".... (btw, DOES anyone know why they changed direction?)

Reading the above posts, glad to hear things are on the up for zen mistress and CelticGoddess, kind of feel like I've got to know you a bit through this thread. Hugs (or empathetic thoughts, if thats more comfortable) to anyone who needs them or is feeling not so good.