scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-5. Dumb people around me, spoil my life.

I hope people feel a bit better. I think the world gets a little darker at this time of the year but then brightens up again.

I am probably a 2. Day is grey and damp-looking. I bought a bicycle on an online auction but I am now worried that it will turn out to be too small. It said it was a childs bike but also suitable for small adults. I dont know if I count as a small adult, I am 5 foot 3.

Anyway I can always sell the bike on if it is unsuitable. Im not sure if I am a fan of online auctions. I have never been in a store buying a pair of jeans and found someone tugging on the other end of them because they want them too, and then they end up pulling the jeans off me, paying for them and walking out the door with my jeans. This is what happened to me the other night, someone outbidded me and walked off with my bike that I was interested in.

All of my shopping experiences so far have involved me deciding I like something and buying it, very simple. I guess I am not a competitive person.

Anyway should be picking up the bike today.

0. I am slightly better today, but concerned about picking up where I left off; there's a backlog of tasks.

I'm and emotional bounce ball so I'd say 1 - 10 back and forth daily.

+10.

I'm feeling much better than I was, two weeks ago, today. I've been back at my apartment since two Tuesdays ago.

The number had risen slightly, but now it's back to 0 after my mother told me that a dog that lived around the corner from me had been suspected to be poisoned. Now I'm really worried that something will happen to my dog.

3. But may fall lower.

I'm coming down with yet another cold, which is probably fuelling this outbreak of irritation and feelings of annoyed embarrassment at everyone I know in real life.

I *work* really bl***y hard to pass unnoticed, to not be an "issue", with my social skills and body language and even conversation and HOW I express opinions- it's like constantly maintaining an unatural performance similar to dancing en pointe, while others feel free to blunder as flat footed as they like and are too willfully ignorant or smug to care that they are being embarrassing or offensive. It's like being sabotaged.

+8

Only 53 days left until graduation!

In the negatives.

Youtube is rampent with racists. I wish all out and proud racists would die horribley! Maybe their gutts turn to goop and run out their eye balls! This is why I stopped having an account there! I slammed the keys off this key board, this one comment pissed me off so bad, because I'm tired of hearing it!

+2. I shouldn't be, but just am.

0.

3.5... I had a horrible day yesterday. It's better now, but I still have all sorts of homework and not enough time to do it. Then I have a test tomorrow that I'm not ready for...

Been a 'meh' day for me. A bit bored, -2~+1 sort of day.

(((((((everyone)))))))

3. Not feeling too bad. I am becoming an online auction addict which I will have to stop, and after I write this post I will have to say to myself, Step away from the computer.

But things havent been too bad. Had a huge meltdown on Monday when it turned out that I had bought a childs bicycle. I felt awful afterwards and wondered if my boyfriend thought I was some sort of Aspiezilla after witnessing me like that.

Anyway things have calmed down now and I will just have to resell the bicycle. I have bought a small exercise machine though and will have to make the nervewracking trip to get it on Sunday... I hope it will turn out to be a good purchase. Anyway will be stepping away from the computer... now. Will post again in a few days.

Around -6.
I feel like crude. I've felt like crude for the past few days or so.
And then I got the female thing last night. Which makes the crude-feeling worst.
And the moron-kid won't shut up, as always.
And I know I probably won't be getting much sleep tonight, again.
Mood swings.
And crude crude crude.

Hates numbers.

Downish. No particular reason for it, just am. Winter months suck; I thought it wouldn't be a problem since I moved to a place that's significantly warmer, even in the winter, but nope, the past two months I've been definitely going downhill.