Extermely depressed, +8 month isolation taking toll

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I'll ask my doc, I go soon.

So long as it doesn't conflict with my drug of choice I should be okay but my usual state brings me low blood pressure (Depending on method of use), semi high pulse (Effects lessen with years of use) and apparently has a wide range of effect on blood so I would wonder how an anticoagulant would play with it.

I don't know to bring up how I get in my state of mind, I would rather that be unknown to everyone. It might not be relevant but I will say that smoking gives me a headache and causes my blood pressure to get ungodly high and causes me to generally feel like crap so it might be worth noting that I actually don't smoke anything.

f**k my life, death is everywhere

I f****d up college, I f****d up at work, I f****d up my housing, I f****d up online, I f****d up church, I f****d up my family, I f****d up my friends. I am a f**k up, I can't even kill myself correctly. I f****d that up too, my whole life is f****d. There is no f*****g hope, not one piece of f*****g hope to ever have a f*****g normal life. f**k all this s**t to hell.

I like the avatar you have dcj123. Is that your fish?

Hm no, its an avatar that someone suggested to me, usernames blur, if I saw them again I would know them. I was going to get an aquarium but I don't know. It cost money and there are more important projects I am working on like going off grid into the woods because I lived in society for 25 years and there is not a damn thing worth saving in my opinion.

I think you should go for it man. Animals really help out in times of troubles, Fish are pretty low maintanice and they will do nothing but love you, I want to live off the grid aswell but then again I like creature comforts like electricity, hot food and the internets

I wish we could hang out man. I would be your friend and hey we can help each other out, seeing is we both need friends and out of our depressing circumstance.

Where abouts do you live? I live in N. California and if you dont think im being too weird and you live close lets hang out!

I have met a fellow wrong planet alien in real life and it didn't end well. Of course I also kind of told them to go to hell in so many words but if they looked at what I was trying to say they would have been less offended. I merely said I am giving up socially, it don't bold well but hey that was the last human being I have talked to outside of my mom so meh, I don't really care so much. Though it wasn't my intention, I was merely stating where I was and they also asked so yeah. Anyway I might PM you maybe but I think I would be cautious to meet with some in real life now because of how I present myself. Its all true feelings and all but I'd rather people not poke into my business. Also I am on the other side of the county.

However your more then welcome to poke into my business if you would like to co-own a piece of the woods some where. I'll share if its big enough and you stay in your square.

if you don't mind, can you tell me what about the other WPer pissed you off?

DCJ: You're a man of many talents.

I just wish you'd get out of your own way.

If you do that, I think you'd go far.

You'd make a good drug counselor, for example, as well as a HelpDesk person.

Oh no problem man. No pressure, I have met people from online and had the same experiance, mostly that they lied like a dog about who they were, I get you can be anything online so its pretty easy to be somebody you're not. I'm fairly geniune however, but sounds like it would be too difficult to met up because of location.

I wish you the best man and look forward to seeing you around on wrongplanet.

From my experiance however I am willing to try almost anything at this point in making friends, its defintely a game I would rather not play because its just so frustraiting but I have really no other choice,

Well f**k

I didn't mean it like that, nothing pissed me off. We just went separate ways because I wanted to isolate, I guess what I am saying is I probably didn't communicate my feelings properly and regret it. They are of no concern to me and I would hope they never think about me again.